Singing no woman no cry to myself

Marie Abanga
Posted July 24, 2019 from Cameroon

There are days and moments in life like this, where some things in and around you just go meh, and regardless of all the shine going on around you, you find it hard to get to the inside you. Does that make sense to someone? Can anyone relate? 

Anyways, for like two weeks and some, I have been broke in a few corners of me.  Broke in my pocket hahaha, broke in my spirit and broke in my soul. Now, it's been fluctuating even on the same day. 

Sometimes you are seen to be busy but lots of that busy (beezy for me because I feel like a bee during such moments) isn't income generating - and the bills don't care about that mark you. I had to spend quite some to get to the south of my country for the court case of a small child who was gravely sexually assaulted in April - public solidarity was largely moral and even that has faded by now of course...But, am not complaining because I have a roof over my head and a meal or two a day.

My spirit took a hit because of some external persecution of my choices. Uh huh, back here it seems age don't matter. You are 40 and you make choices others don't like, they come visit you with cousin misery... A day or two down in moods wallow, and then like an Eagle I soared - making sure they took note hahahaha

And then my soul took its own hit when a potential soulmate told me they weren't ready after all - they had needed 5 months to get to that meh. It was an amicable break up of sorts because I instigated the discussions well after 7 days of stalemate and a previous 7 days of mono syllabus exchanges by whatsapp. What was the point keep hope alive without being so sure of the direction of the ship? When I asked what was the prospect and they said they had lost all motivation to go on, I didn't press on. I had actually been preparing myself for a worst case scenario - but still it added to my meh

The good news however is that all is well which ends well. Why do I think Bob Marley was inspired to compose such a soulful piece? Who was I waiting for to play it or sing it to me?

So this morning I sang it to myself well and proper. I know that I am more than a conqueror. My spiritual growth makes me so happy and even proud of myself, soon I will start school as a commonwealth scholar (not to be taken for granted), and my boys and I are in good health in a safe part of the country (I can't forget some are in perilous situations currently).

I put on my shine today from inside, and I let it radiate on the outside. Singing that song to myself this morning, in adition to other gospel rhythms I knew, really made my mood and day.


Comments 6

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Jill Langhus
Jul 25
Jul 25

Hello dear Marie,

I'm sorry to hear that you went through a rough patch. You can always reach out to me if it happens again.... I'm here for you, dear. XX

I do know what you mean, btw, about feeling meh sometimes and wondering what my problem is because I have so much to be grateful for, right?

Yes, everything is going to be alright:-)

Marie Abanga
Jul 25
Jul 25

Thanks dearie,

I I know I can reach out to you and your flowers on Facebook help me too. I am happy for the tools I have and for all the self awareness and even courage lol.
Yesterday was my complete healing day and writing it all out here was a way of burying all that publicly lol. The bottom aim for me, is always to inspire and motivate someone with that experience.
Everything is alright already, and everything to come gonna be alright.

Jill Langhus
Jul 25
Jul 25

You're welcome, love:-)

Very good:-) That's a great aim and goal. You inspire me:-)

Great to hear!


Jul 26
Jul 26

Hi Marie,
I relate very much to your story. It's like a coffee for me every morning haha, meaning the getting broke and disappointment are rampant. Going through it makes me stronger both spiritually and emotionally. I think if others are in my situation they will commit sucide.
Let be thankful for this inheritance from God. One thing I know for sure is when I am about to get overwhelmed then he takes it off.
It shall be well for us all soon. Take care

Hello, sister Marie,

You’re such a resilient woman! How do you cure a heartbreak so easily? What tools do you have to cope and turn your loss into happiness?

I know a lot of people who take years before healing a heartbreak. That’s why I’m curious.

Thanks for sharing your story, dear strong woman!

Beth Lacey
Jul 31
Jul 31

Good for you!