I stand with my mother and all other global sisters like us

Marie Abanga
Posted December 7, 2019 from Cameroon

I stand with her

That innocent 16 year old given off to marriage against her wish

I stand with her in retrospect as she fled to the sacred forest to hide

Oh how it rained so bad that night she tells

How scared she was but yet

Death she preferred to marriage against her wish

She had just finished secondary school

sent there against her father's wish

By a mother everyone back then called 'stubborn'

later nicknamed 'Andepe' for independent woman

wasn't common to have such fearless women back then

indeed it cost her her own marriage

after some good domestic abuse too

and now my mother was to be given away for family honour

she who was so intelligent and just wanted to go on to high school

Her stubborn mother stood up again

At least she wasn't in that man's house again

even though traditionally the girls were still his 

to do with as he pleased

such reckless customs and traditions

Treating us like mere chattel

And so Andepe said: sell her if you care, but if he doesn't send her to school

I will show up and cause havoc

I didn't know as a kid why grandma was often around

I now think it was to remind my dad

She is known to be stubborn, independent and even wild

That still didn't stop dad

I remember the abuse, the scars and the silence

Mother took it and bore it all

She studied so hard and got a scholarship

In his envy and furry, he did his worse

Burnt all her documents and even our birth certificates

Mother couldn't leave for Canada after all

I think her eyes ran out of tears

We all were so scared and gathered round our own mother hen

I remember thinking if I could ever marry

If men were like my dad

But ha that's kinda of what I got

Like he had been raised by my dad

Six years and I was out

not waiting for my own mum to come and stand with me

I was still young and strong and more stubborn

I preferred to stand with myself this time around

And stand with all the other women abused and battered

left tattered just because they are women

supposedly weaker sex - called to 'submit'

I get so worked up when I read the stories

And realize it wasn't just ours

The world over

This is the norm it seems

Women mean nothing more than 'whatever'

This is the narrative I stand with my sisters the world over to change

And one day, drop by drop, there will be a paradigm shift

 

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 21

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Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

Hello, dear sis Marie,

Wow, how strong and courageous your mother was and is. We stand with her. We stand with you!

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Hiya dear Karen,

Thank you. Oh yes, I come from a lineage to reckon with. I embrace that fully today and such women are not to be ostracized but celebrated in my opinion o.

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

You're welcome, dear. No wonder you are as strong and as courageous, dear. Keep up the great work!

Jill Langhus
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

Hello Dear Marie,

How are you doing, dear? Wow! You're a poet, too, on top of all your other amazing talents:-) Thanks so much for sharing this powerful poem and part of history.

I hope you're doing well, and not pushing yourself too hard:-)

XX

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear Jill,

Hahaha, Thank you. I am a poet, written two collections already - the bug isn't bitting me anymore actually lol. I felt the need to share that part of my history in the most artistic and captivating way.
I had a burnout coming but that's under arrest now, thanks for checking.
Light and love
xx

Jill Langhus
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

Oh, I see... wow! Well, then you achieved it!

Oh, good... glad to hear it!

XXX

Hannah B
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

Hi Marie,
Wow, this is a powerful piece! Thank you for sharing it.
Your line "Women mean nothing more than 'whatever'" really strikes a chord - that awful feeling that women can be tossed aside, often violently, is all too true.
Thank you for sharing, and for standing up during #IStandWithHer!
Warm regards,
Hannah

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear Hannah,

Thanks for reading and commenting. It really makes me sick to the core when I see such degrading treatment of women continue up to this day. I hope our daughters and theirs, don't go through this because of the voices we raise, and all the advocacy we do.
It's my pleasure sharing always
light and love
Marie

Charei Kaul
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

#ISTANDFORHER.

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Thank you so much Charei

Charei Kaul
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

You are welcome. Just keep your head up!!!

lizzymark
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

We stand with her,you and all great mothers out their who are working and sacrificing each day. We stand with you Mama. Thanks dear this is so good

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear Lizzymark,

Thank you so much

Anita Shrestha
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

Dear Sis
Thank you for sharing

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear sis,

Thank you so much for the encouragement and sisterhood

Lisbeth
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

Dear Marie,
Haha, I am laughing. " As if he was raised by your Dad" hehe. It's so ironic you know. When you plan to escape the unknown/the dislike, you actually end up with exactly that.
This has taught me that indeed God is not a mock.
Thanks for sharing and standing with her.
Regards

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear Lizzy,

Thanks for reading and commenting. You really have to laugh, just like I did in retrospect - I was like "what scaled your eyes girl"? hahahahaha
I am grateful for Grace Amazing
Light and love always

Lisbeth
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Haha :-)!
Take care

Asaad Ali
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

#IstandWithHer

Marie Abanga
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear Ali,

Thank you so much. It means the world when you our sons and brothers stand with us. We are all human beings having the same human rights after all o

Asaad Ali
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

Exactly , even women deserve respect any time any were .
Thank you dear .