THE SAFE SPACE THEORY

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Posted July 22, 2018 from Cameroon

Nothing is frustrating like living in depression and lack of self confidence whereas you are a powerhouse full of wealth that can make a difference in the life of many and the community as a whole.

I remember vividly when in December 2015 I met a world pulse sister, who happened to be a childhood friend, on facebook at about 11:30pm. Yes I was online because I needed a distraction from the marital tension I was going through at that moment. I needed whoever was online to chat with so I don’t have to think about my stress. Leina introduced me to world pulse after we chatted and I told her my desire to make a difference in my life and that of other women.

I registered on this online community of great women who are worth belongs of dollars. Listening to their stories, comments as well as sharing mine with them proved so enriching and empowering. The big difference in everything is that I realized I had the power to tell my own story the way it is and not allowing whoever to misrepresent me in the way they tell my story

Each time I visited “home” (our online community World Pulse) I felt a strong sense of security that built my self-confidence. I learned and shared with great women of vision and value which inspired me to start taking advantage of the assets I have. I started working as a changemaker interested in changing the situation of injustice against women and girls.

Working with women and girls to uphold their sexual and reproductive health rights made me realize how much wealth for the development of women and girls would have been buried in me forever. I have been able to draw on the wealth shared by other sisters on this platform to become a source of wealth for women and girls in my community.

I can go on and on with this power of #wealthofwomen but there is a particular angle of benefitting from this that has brought out the deep well of wealth for the fight against injustice against women. I am talking about the safe space theory which entails a space for women by women free from patriarchal dos and don’ts, fear of intimidation or being judged.

Primarily World Pulse serves as a safe space for many women where they find shades of power that helps them redefine themselves and become assertive. They log on read and share stories which empower and cause them to take action. I have borrowed this concept of safe space for intimate and frank discussions that has made a great stride in my life. I have not only use this concept to help women who can’t log on to have where to express themselves but also I have used it to get a master’s degree. Yes I got an excellent grade from my jury after I presented and defended my dissertation titled “Gendered Discourses: Challenging Patriarchal Ideologies in a Safe space.

We can never create another world for women but we can give them their rightful position as the wealthiest beings who nurture humanity though suppressed by patriarchal ideologies. I therefore envisage a society where several safe spaces for women by women is available and accessible for all so as to harness the unexploited wealth of the feminine folk to help change the narrative. Community development is the desire of all so social actors irrespective of their sex should be given the chance to drive the development.

This story was submitted in response to #WealthofWomen.

Comments 18

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Araba
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018

Thanks Sally, Within us lies the power to make the difference in our world.

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018

Making a difference is the objective my dearest sister

Tarke Edith
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018

Thanks sister Sally for the great work that you are doing with girls education

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018

Thanks my sister we are in this together

Olutosin
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018

I have created one.
Thanks so much for reminding all of us this important responsibility

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018

Perfect. I pray we create many more so that we develop and implement a new discourse patriarchal ideologies has refused to acknowledge. No more unsung sheroes. Every woman or girl has a contribution to development

Jill Langhus
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018

Hi there lovely,

How are you doing? Thanks for sharing your inspiring story and work:-)

I totally agree that depression and low self esteem totally stink, and I also share your vision about more and more safe havens being created for women worldwide. I would really love to see a world, though, that doesn't need safe havens for women any longer, i.e., they are no longer necessary because girls and women are deemed respected, valued equals of society. Until then, I'm with you to help create another one....

Hope you and your family are safe, and that you're having a good day:)

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018

Thanks Jill for liking the idea. Something is being done in my community now to create safe spaces for women who are suffering from GBV. I hope many others are created to meet demand.
My family and I are safe dearest. Thanks for checking on us

Jill Langhus
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018

You're welcome:) YAY! For sure.

Good to hear!

Hope you're having a good day!

Sharon Makunura
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018

Hi Sally. Great idea, a society with safe spaces for women. I subscribe to that idea.

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018

Thanks Sharon. A society where every opinion counts makes the difference

Sophia Uroko
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018

Hi Sally, indeed pulse is a safe space all women. Every woman has a story but let us not allow our girls suffer the same experiences we had. Let's bring them to limelight and empower them. Together we shall win.

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018

My dear sister you have said it all. The chain of patriarchal domination must be broken

amina_5
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018

Thanks Sally for sharing. Very inspiring
Women truly need safe spaces to grow learn and feel safe to share their trials and challenges.

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018

Thanks Amina for adding your voice

Adanna
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018

Thank you for sharing your story with us sister!

Keep up the good work!

Love,
Adanna

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018

Yes I will keep it up. Thanks so much my sister

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018

Oh my dear sister Sally! I was planning to write about Safe Spaces for a future post so imagine how my heart jump when I read your entry!

In my little initiative, I have made an online Safe Space for me and my siblings where we share our updates online. It was our way to process our trauma while growing up in an abusive home.

Women need this safe support system where we are validated, heard and understood. I am with you on this Safe Space Theory. Hugs!