Mother's Day

Mum I love you. It is not the first time I am admitting that I love you. But this time, I truly mean. I have loved you since the day I have been attached to you. Maybe since the first time you noticed your first missed period and felt new changes inside you. I loved you then because you gave me a place to grow as a tiny ball of cells. Your warm and soft uterus provided me place to implant; to spread my trophoblast inside you. When my heart beat for the first time, I was really thankful to you that I had a life within and then after some weeks when my neurons started to develop, I think I got some senses that you are my mother and I should rely on you. When I was 20 weeks old, one morning I was trying to change my position because I thought I was causing you pain, you felt the movement and you were amazed to find your first fetal kick. I neither used my lungs nor my intestines because my friend placenta would transfer me nourishment and oxygen from your body. I loved you so much then also. It was completed 9 months and when I felt like it’s the time to come out, so I started to find the way out. I know you were much in pain during labor because that was your first experience with childbirth. But what else could I do. I am so sorry to put you in such pain. But u told me later that you were so pleased to welcome your new one in this world.
Since my childhood I have always wanted to be like you, grow up like you. You were my first tutor and my first school. I don’t remember when I started to walk and speak but I am damn sure that you walked me holding my tiny hands and I copied when you spoke. You surely had spent some sleepless nights because I was feverish or was crying whole night without reason or because of taking care of me, feeding me, changing my nappy, rocking me and singing me a lullaby.
As a kid I remember you piggy backing me even when I was old enough, rocking me, telling me stories about wicked people, saints, beggars or garbage collectors who would take me away for misbehaving or crying and then I would stay quiet. I remember snuggling up to you on the coach and how much I loved to be cuddled by you. I must have thrown tantrums at which you would have smiled but not ignored. I am so sorry to have your time consumed, time taken and time lost to upbring me, to take care of me you might have missed your college, discontinued your study for time being or not being able to score good marks on exams.
I know many times you have saved me from dad's scolding for not eating greens or some vegetables. I remember an incident when I was around 7 or 8 years. I was desperately waiting to celebrate my birthday with friends but dad didn't allow and you too agreed with dad. I went to school with tearful eyes. When I returned home, you brought me a surprise cake and birthday gifts and invited my friends secretly just to make me happy. In addition to my surprise, you had arranged a big party for friends. I loved you then too. I remember how you taught me to use sanitary pad for the first time I had my menses and how to take care of myself during that time. You taught me to stay away from sly people and friends, but be friendly and cooperative with good people. You modeled me how to be respectful, kind to others and patient with old people.
Most people seeing us together say I am exactly like you. Same facial features, similar lips, similar forehead, similar chin and almost everything. My body shape, deposition of fats around specific areas, bulky skeleton, bulky thighs and even my breasts resemble yours. Even structure of hands and feet are almost similar. I guess I will be your xerox at your age if I don’t maintain my weight now. Also, we have many other similarities. We prefer similar food, fruits and drinks. I have totally grown up like you and I am proud.

This whole time I have not witnessed you cry; maybe you didn't show me your tears to teach me to be strong lady. As I have grown I have copied some of your boldness, your speak-out- loud attitude with which the way I look at life makes all the difference. I am proud of the way you behave with people; love dad, me and my sister and whole family. It takes a lot to manage between personal and professional life and you have done it best.
Mom I’m really sorry for everything because sometimes without me realized or not my words were too tough and hard. Mom, please forgive me. I may not have liked your suggestions and attention then, but looking back, I know it was for myself.
Thank you for the greatest gift you ever gave me- my sibling. Thank you for teaching me to be independent. Thank you for not giving up on me, especially during those preteen years. Thank you for keeping my secrets. Thank you for being my role model. Thank you for giving me limits and structure but also space and confidence to step out toward independence. I will forever be your little girl, no amount of growing can change that.
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