|I was recently part of a panel discussion on the feminine wisdom and I felt the questions and the answers that emerged are important to be shared with you all. An invitation from my heart to yours.|
IN YOUR WORK WITH WOMEN, WHAT KIND OF IMBALANCES DO YOU MOST COMMONLY ENCOUNTER? WOULD YOU SAY THAT WE ARE TRAPPED IN THE SHADOW SIDES OF THE MASCULINE AND FEMININE ENERGIES? HOW SHOULD ONE ACHIEVE BALANCE?
An imbalance is a lack of coordination or relation or relating with the whole or corresponding whole. An imbalance speaks of a lack of coming together of the different parts of one self, with the intention to move towards what one is seeking.
What show up in sessions are symptoms and below is a list:
Emotionalizing | Anxiety | Panic attacks | Angst | Cognitive distortions
“Movement away from” - I know what I don’t want – fire fighting
Coping – moving into dysfunction over the long term | Fix me – fix it
Get done with it | I know what is wrong with me – language of wrongness and rightness
Narratives and stories – this drive to find some stories instead of sitting with the movement
Ungroundedness | Sense of lost – I don’t know where I am going | Who am I ?
I am unable to be around this person or that person
The list is not limited to what I shared.
I invite you to Pause and Breathe
Any sense of sameness?
Whenever, shadows of our fragmented selves show up, they show up symptomatically in terms of imbalance, that is, lack of coordinating or unrelating within ourself – numbness, break in the flow on information, protection instead of connection.
I believe it is important to say that regardless of our beliefs about the list that I mentioned earlier, the list speaks of intelligence.
An intelligence that serves each one of us at one point, not just in this life, but across generations, time and land.
Constant scanning the environment for danger – served you , it was purposeful at a point.
The young child learned by adapting because her survival depended on this, so she learned to make herself small, keep her voice down.
Another example, making yourself small served you, it ensured that you belonged to a clan that asked of you to tone it down from a tender age.
However, when the adult’s goal is to soar and to reach greater heights, these will clash with the mechanism and dynamics of “dimming” and symptomatically we will start observing clash of movements in the happening, “a tug of war” between where one is trying to go and what is in operation for years.
Where do we go from here?
This intelligence when it is honored, then we no more see it as imbalance, we see it as what was once needed and now it has to be put to rest.
When imbalance or unrelating is met in this way, we then are able to receive wisdom that will emerge for us.
Resilience is built from such a space, a space of honoring all this is. I believe this the essence of Feminine, we honor all that is, all is part of our experiences.
How does one achieve balance?
Balance is dynamic, this is embodied in nature – what works in summer, does not work in winter. We meet and are met through, within and with balance when we open up to meet through fragmented parts of ourselves that will keep showing up over and over again through those symptoms reactions and beings.
So where do we begin?
When the symptomatic dance of imbalances show up, underneath lurk feelings and emotions that are trapped and these are beyond the narratives and the stories of right and wrong.
We begin by feeling it in the body. By allowing oneself to feel the pain.
This is a process that is not to be rushed through.
Rushing through is a trauma-response. By returning to our closest circle of intimacy inside ourself through our breaths.
Learning to tap into one’s own rhythms – such rhythm is not created or made up or found . it is already within – our breathing, our heart beats
Learning to become aware of even when I say “I am lost”, who is saying this? Because if you are lost, then you are lost, you won’t even be able to say so because you are lost
Becoming present to this Unchanging Core within, who witnesses the Changing aspect of you
See link to a guided exercise to ground and move into the body
As you walk your way to yourself to meet these symptomatic echoes of imbalances, know that you are in a potent space, imbalances show up along with openings to put to rest mechanisms that have served you and to rewire your brain, your nervous system, your internal chemistry, your emotions and so much more.
This is a path to be led, to be lived, to cherished, to heaved through, in, within companionship.
Love from my heart to yours
Love from my womb to you
Love from my body to yours
Love from nervous system to yours