At least once every week since last year, I receive messages from women asking me,
|How did you find your path? How did you find your spiritual path to healing? What made you realize that this is your way to go?|
These questions are loaded with meanings, beliefs, identities, values, memories, emotions, cognitions and so much more. These questions are personal to and for each woman who reached out, who reaches out and who will reach out.
Hear my answer:
I have no idea, if not only a vague guessing of sight, hearing, feeling and sense of what you mean and how you are using the words “spiritual, spirituality, healing and path.”
I am walking home to myself and it is an everyday movement, sometimes I run, other days I rest and there are moments of freezing and numbing.
What do I mean by “walking home to myself”?
Moving into awareness, acknowledgement and honoring of my beliefs, perceptions, memories, trauma, unmet, my coping, my patterns, my attachment wounds, my relating, my disconnects, my fears, my relationship with my body, my worthiness, my lineage, my parents and so much more.
Moving into creating new memories for my body
Moving into acknowledging, embracing and honoring my experiences, my past, my present and the future yet to unfold.
Moving into intentional choice.
Moving into honoring that which is outside my control
What has triggered my steps home to myself?
|IN THE COMPANY OF WOMEN|
I have found my way home to myself in the company of women. I keep finding my way home to myself in the company of women.
I have been sitting in circles with women since 2010, back then, I had no idea what I was opening up to. I was in a movement of showing up while attempting to save the world.
On the way, I learned the gift of receiving from myself, from life and from women that I have been blessed and gifted to circle with.
In the company of women, I have been learning to show up with my tears, my fears, my pain, my dreams, my love, my agony, my relationships and my trauma.
While I write these words, those moments of deep trigger echo as wise messengers. We tend to speak less of triggers that happen within circles of women, those triggering moments potent for growth. In the company of women, I have learned to practice horning my inner voice and my power, the art of boundaries and ownership, especially whenever I have hurled “this situation with this sister is aching me”.
In the company of women, I have been writing new memories of relating while embracing the fragmented parts of myself.
In the company of women, I have been learning a new language of relating to my body, to myself, to my mother, to my father, to my sister, to my brother, to my siblings, to my lineage, to my ancestry, to society, to world and to earth.
In the company of women, I have been learning the art and quality of curiosity towards my fears, my shame, my guilt, my sex, my sexuality, my anxiety, my panic attacks, my doubts, my questions and my relating with men.
In the company of women, my nervous system has been practicing the dance of showing up vulnerably while putting to rest the need to fix, the urge to know and my not-enoughness.
While I practice my work under the certifications that come from the institutions that I have been learned from, in the company of women, I have been practicing living as a student and this is the one the biggest gifts that I have received.
In the company of women, I have been found safety in my body.
In the company of women, I keep walking home to myself.
I believe in the movement of circling with women.
I believe in the healing power when women gather.
I believe in the meeting, embracing, honoring and remembering that is poured unto to us, our societies and our communities when women gather.
I believe in the practice of power ownership and in voicing when women meet, greet and circle together.
I believe that women from my lineage and from yours are dancing, musing, whispering, smiling, laughing, giggling and gossiping as we reach the end of this sharing.
Love from my heart to yours
Love from my womb to you
Love from my body to yours
Love from nervous system to yours