Sisters, Exhale the emotional charge of “whatever it is” that you experience and take a step above and depersonalize “whatever it is” that others do and be.
| SMOOCH THE EMOTIONAL CHARGE AND DE-PERSONALIZE WHAT OTHERS DO AND BE |
What follows is an extract of a coaching conversation with one of my client this week. |PAUSE | WALK THROUGH IT| |WORD OF CAUTION: THIS EXTRACT PROJECTS AN OVERALL PICTURE AND IT DOES NOT GO INTO THE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS PART|
“He ran away. I am away too empowered for him.”
These came from a woman churning in her thoughts and discomfort.
There are many ways to walk through such a storm.
“Did he tell you that “I am running away because you are way too empowered for me” ?” She answered “NO”.
“Hmm, so he did not tell you that “I am running away because you are way too empowered for me!”, I repeated
She answered “NO”.
“What are you assuming that has led that you to conclude that this man has choosen to run away from you because you are way too empowered?”, I asked
This brought a shower of silence and tears flooded.
“That in his mind, he thinks that I am way too empowered for him.”
“In his mind, he thinks that you are way too empowered for him. So you mind read?” I teased her
Giggling through her tears, she choked “I just want unconditional acceptance of who I am.”
This statement shifted our conversation towards the woman instead of the man.
The emotional charge initially targeted on the man was withdrawn and a lurking part of herself now emerged ready to be seen, to be held, to be embraced, to be acknowledged and to be walked through.
In each encounter with every individual in our life, we will be taught the fundamental of moving back to self. Relationship of any shape, type, title, definition, nature, structure, brings in its share of churning, brewing and growth.
One of the common assumptions we do when relating to others, especially in what we define as “romantic relationships”, we assume we know that the others do, think, feel, see, be and worst we assume that we are the reason why others do, think, feel, see and be. We make things personal in relating with others. we get triggered by what others do and we assume that they are responsible for our triggers. Others do what they do but we assume that there is this somethingness in us that led them to do what they did.
Here is the message for any woman who will read these words, if you are struggling with any form of relationship in your life right now, just pause and breathe deep and ask yourself these questions: “What is being shown to me about me that I am yet to acknowledge?” “Where is my emotional charge in this?” “What stories lie behind my emotions?”
Unless, we stop holding others responsible for how we feel and what we experience, we will not shift and break those unhealthy cycles. Relationships serve the purpose of bringing to surface feelings that swirl in discomfort. Most of us are quick to fix discomfort, we want to control. Often we control by closing off.
Closing off steepens the imbalance. No human is to close off to life, to love, to live, to air, to food, to nurture, to nature and to self.
As days usher in with the scorpionic energy, more and more will be revealed to those who will choose to listen and dwell within the discomfort.
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME| BREATHE | PAUSE |OPEN FOR HEART TO HEART CONVERSATIONS WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN SUPPORT AND JOURNEY WITH YOU|
#NaymeDua #MeghaVenketasamy #MetaCoach
Image Source: Andreas P Unsplash