When the sense of worth is scratched

|These words for any entrepreneur/business owner/self employed I speak to women but I know it resonate with men and however, you identify yourself as.|

Work has been easing out and as I write these words, I know they resonate and story the current happenings of endless out there, especially small and medium entrepreneurs and self-employed. 2020 kick started on a high note, seeds planted months ago unfolded in concrete projects. But when COVID19 kicked in, I hurled in disgust and tiredness; this was the last thing that I needed on my path. I felt betrayed for I have worked hard to be where I stood. I have had my share of inner drama during the phase.

|But who has not worked hard?| |Who has not thrived?| |Who has not had sleepless nights to crack the shells?|

In coming weeks and months, strings may tighten, priorities have shifted for people, for the world, fear has deepened and unlike before, we are wiggling in the sight of ever present uncertainty. We have been foolish enough to have led a life believing that uncertainty could be contained and managed as a “thing”.

For many of us work may not shift, we may not meet and least break-even on the forecasted returns on investments and sales figures

I write from a place of awareness and not self-pity and least self-loathing. I seek least “I am sorry and things will get better; reinvent and rethink! Be positive! Trust!”, instead hear my whispers: There is a fine line between worrying about finance and seeing oneself through the lenses of worthlessness. They are not the same. I say these words, especially for women and I know they resonate with men too.

While you worry about bringing food on the table, while you are genuinely concerned about your future and that of your family, while you are biting yourself at the “how to pay the bills?”, know there is a fine line between this worry, concern and biting and feeling, believing and thinking you are unworthy because right here right now you may be unable to meet what has been stationed as your basic needs.

Whether you manage to meet your monthly targets and maintain your defined quality of life, none of these determine your worth.

For those of us, who believe and feel we are called to lead some “higher purpose” on earth, then may we hear that the sight, faith, belief, truth and knowingness of us as worthy beyond all forces on earth and beyond is the “purpose”, for once we start seeing, feeling, hearing, witnessing, believing and observing ourselves as such, we shall see, feel, hear, witness, believe and observe the world, others, people, time, place and beyond as same.

We will no more question people’s validity for being alive and we will no more question our own validity for being alive right here right now.

I am not the only one who despite all well-intended intentions, has focused for far too long on the number of likes, traffic on shared contents, responses online, emails and messages. Through this cycle, I am not the only who felt that her/his purpose was being fulfilled out of the evidence of reaching and rippling to and through fellow humans. Through this cycle, we strangely weave a net of worthiness and fulfillment, yet we have been and we are fools to believe that this external myriad shall last.

I have been sitting with this deep opening for a month now, come what may, I am standing on my grounds as a woman who is worthy regardless of all.

If your business is crumbling down and you are wiggling in pain. I hear you | I see you | I hold space for you My heart goes out to you

I pray you find the strength to reach out for the medicine that is being poured your way. I pray you dare allow yourself to witness that which is crumbling down with the intent to open deeper to yourself and life.

I pray enough be sent your way Food| Money| Support | Love| Health| Listening | Warmth | Comfort| Safe And much more

Beyond all, I pray you rise to meet your worth in this process.

This is what I have had to learn through these past weeks. I may have to spend the coming weeks, cleaning, eating, writing and sharing or simply choosing to sleep and rest, none of these will invalidate my worth as a woman, as a human, as a being present on earth right here right now.

I can live without being called a coach or women circle facilitator or yoga teacher or any other titles, I am sitting with this view, none of these will determine my worth, none these will shiver my voice, instead I am choosing to roar louder and to keep reclaiming my voice. I believe, I see, I feel and I hear that more and more women need to hear this. If work is phasing, let it be but be reminded that your worth is unchanged, untouched, uncovered, ever so sacred from the beginning of time till the end.

“Now is the time to hear loud that whether business flourish or phase out, whether you are in deep panic, worry, anxiety, whether you oscillate through life by projecting and/ or taking all things personal, none of these can and will ever determine your worth You have always been in service of life I say this especially to women because most of us fell in the trap of "finding our purpose", while our purpose is nothing but returning home to our selves. Home is worthiness within and beyond. It's one thing to do and be for the world and another thing to know that regardless of what we choose to and be do, we are worthy.”

Love from my heart to yours

Megha Venketasamy

Image Source: @MeghaVenketasamy