When we step up for that which pounds in our heart, we begin a stand-alone journey and chances that we lose those who were once our allies are real, true and hard.
The day we make that conscious and intentional choice to ripple out our voice, we are bound to be left unarmored by those whom we consider our defense.
Standing for what we value at any given point in time, be an opinion, a change in career, the decision to leave or start a relationship, engaging deeper in what we perceive and believe as our spirituality, ownership of our cycles, opening our hearts to life, and more, all of these choices and decisions, will usher us ahead and often alone.
This is a solo stand. There are little promises that we will be braced by those we consider our own.
For women and men, who are untangling themselves from their domestication, this can be heart breaking to wake up and be shaken with this sense that “I no more belong to those I called my own”.
|If you have ever been there | If you are there |
|If you are shying away from that spot | If you are hurting|
Know you are heard | held | acknowledged | seen
Standing up for what we believe in is bound to usher us ahead on fresh grounds and often, we may experience aloneness for some time if not a long time.
What we need to remember through this act is that we have engaged ourselves in what is termed as an “act of heart”.
Every act of heart is a choice to choose to belong to what one believes is true and real for self.
Every act of heart ushers one out there, we call this stepping into the wild.
“Braving the Wilderness”, as termed by Brené Brown
Facing that crossroad , when we are about to stand up for something unsame as those whom hold close to our hearts, this can literally shuts us off and numbs our intention from engaging further. It is easy to retaliate and back track hurling in pain for not having been supported.
But there is no turning away, standing for what pounds in our heart will ask of us to find enough within ourselves that reminds us that we already belong to ourselves and this is the beginning of belonging beyond ourselves.
We will find belongingness on the way, within ourselves and everywhere.
As contradictory as it may sound.
We belong outside only to the extent to which we belong to and with ourselves.
Once we start on the path of standing up for what pounds in our heart, we start belonging to what we are within.
This is true belonging.
We cannot belong to others, times, places, unless until we belong ourselves.
“Belonging demands that we be who we are.” – Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness
“These past years, there have been countless moments of alones, each time I have choosen to speak and stand up for what I have believed in. I have lost countless whom I considered my own, for my choice to embrace that which pounded and pounds in my heart.
There is this key point prior to a sharing, a voicing out, a showing up, a point where I can still choose to retaliate for within I know the price to pay for showing that which pounds inside my heart, is that I will stand along wildly braving the wild.
There is part of me that had rather choose to hide within the comfort of what fits it all.
These past weeks, I have spoken outwardly, I have spoken many unspokens and through this act of speaking, I have stood and I am still standing vulnerably on my peak with this knowingness that as I choose to move deeper to my truth, I am inwardly choosing more of me, the more I choose more of me, the more I belong to that which I am.”
When we start belonging to ourselves, we will often stand alone. Standing alone inundates us in discomfort, yet this is not a phase to be rushed through.
This discomfort is potent as it teaches us the art of learning to root stronger while opening our heart deeper to self and life.
I believe that when we start standing for what pounds inside us and if we dare stay long enough in that discomfort of “aloneness”, we will learn to honor and include even those who seem apart from us.
I believe through this choice of choosing to heed to that which pounds in our hearts, we end up finding fellows ahead, fellows who have made the choice to belong.
Only until we have learned to belong to what we are within, can we truly belong to others, time, place and space.
“You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great…” – Maya Angelou
Through this act of belonging to ourselves, we grow roots and with each breath, we root deeper to almost become immovable for what our heart pounds for.
Through this act of rooting, we teach others to belong and we weave a web of belonging beyond ourselves. Then we belong nowhere and everywhere. And whenever we stand for what pounds in our hearts, we stand with this knowingness.
Love from my heart to yours
Graphic Works @ NyameDua 2020
Image source: Unsplash