The Hidden Faces of Shame

Megha Venketasamy
Posted August 7, 2020 from Mauritius

Almost every woman who shows up for a circle or an in person session or a one to one coaching, carries along this lurking one "I am here in search of a community where I can choose to belong to. But I fear that there are within me enough that will render me unworthy of love and unworthy to belong."

"Shame is this intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging."~ Brené Brown

Shame of bringing to light one's story

Shame of being viewed as not good enough; not smart enough; not witty enough; not beautiful enough

Shame to be viewed as incompetent and unable to hold one's life together

But here's the interesting thing, the more we keep coming back to safe spaces held, nurtured, supported and facilitated by other women, we learn that no matter how unforgivable and unworthy we may view and perceive ourselves and/or lives as, everything is worth to be held, acknowledged and cherished.

What we view as shameful within closed doors is echoed as sameness once we bring light to it in a circle with women and from that space of sameness we learn to dystigmatize ourselves and start rewiring.

We also learn that to transform, we will have to show up fully and this will ask of us to speak the shame and fear we have been nurturing connected to our selves and lives.

We end up understanding that there is not a single thing on earth that a community of women cannot held.

If you have cringed endless times and you still cringe at the thought of " what will they think of Me, of my life and my choices if they knew what has happened and what is happening in my life?"

Know you are not alone .

It's ok to have these questions and thoughts

May you be choose an act of heart today and open to yourself and to your community

There is nothing on earth that cannot be held by a community no matter how shameful you feel about it.

Love from my heart to yours

#MeghaVenketasamy #Coach #CircleFacilitator

Comments 12

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Hello, Megha,

How are you doing? You have blessed us with another well-written post. I love Brene Brown. It was also her who said, "When we share our story that is responded by empathy, shame cannot survive".

I love what you've written, and this resonates most with me, "We also learn that to transform, we will have to show up fully and this will ask of us to speak the shame and fear we have been nurturing connected to our selves and lives."

Looking forward to reading your next post. Thank you for sharing this with us!

Megha Venketasamy
Aug 17
Aug 17

I resonate my sister.. thank you for your words and support

ikirimat
Aug 07
Aug 07

Thanks Megha for sharing this insightful thought. I love it

Megha Venketasamy
Aug 17
Aug 17

love <3

Chi8629
Aug 08
Aug 08

Thank you for sharing.

Megha Venketasamy
Aug 17
Aug 17

love<3

otahelp
Aug 08
Aug 08

So true Megha. It is because we Cannot face our worst fears that we fall easy prey to blackmailers. YES it may very bad and shameful but once you admin and is ready to make amends it is forgotten. Thank you for reminding us to face our worst fears. Stay safe

Megha Venketasamy
Aug 17
Aug 17

shame is this lurking sense of we have not yet reached a certain level..

sending so much love your way

Tamarack Verrall
Aug 08
Aug 08

Dear Megha,
This is so beautiful and true: "What we view as shameful within closed doors is echoed as sameness once we bring light to it in a circle with women". This is the beauty and the necessity of women having the chance to meet together and share from our hearts.. What a powerful and loving message.

Megha Venketasamy
Aug 17
Aug 17

I hear you and may more and more women gather

Nini Mappo
Aug 09
Aug 09

Hello Megha,
Thank you for this uplifting piece, the reminder that we have a safe circle where we can come into the light, and be embraced in spite of our journeys.

Megha Venketasamy
Aug 17
Aug 17

Indeed it begins with feeling safe and safety is embodied..

sending love