I'm embarrassed, sad, and afraid. For months I have told people I know and don't know that there are more of "us" than there are of them.
Us= "not racist, sexist, hateful, jerks"
Them="All of the above, and more"
I do not have the health to protest, and what will the protests do? They will not change the outcome of the election. I have known much younger people, young 20-somethings, who have said that they prefer "direct action" to voting. Voting IS direct action, and by not voting, this man who prefers to be viewed as a monster or tyrant, will make it into the White House next year.
People tend to think of things in terms of what they, personally, will lose. Especially the privileged here in America. There are 20-something year olds who can live off of their parents and maybe get some low-paying jobs and will be poor for a while. But what about my neighbors who can barely keep the heat on this winter? What about people like me, with painful illnesses that cause disability? They voted for us to lose our health care. They voted for us to halt trade with other countries. They voted to ignore climate change and destroy what public lands we have left. They voted to get rid of environmental protections and overturn our immigration laws, even sending naturalized citizens away. They voted for a man who casually brags about sexual assault and wants to know why we don't user our nuclear weapons to wield power.
They voted for dark times, maybe because they want to remember what the brighter times felt like. Because they felt like the rest of America deserved a "lesson".
This is the America we have, not the America everyone idealizes. There are men out there (and yes, it was mostly white men, and presumably their wives who voted for Trump) who prefer a world of anger, hate and reactionary living than a path to peace or success.
I fear my government, now, too. An FBI that was willing to influence the election, knowing that a foreign country (Russia) wanted Trump in office. They don't care about women.
In the past I faced political harassment online (for simply blogging!) that spilled into the outside world so much that I feared for my safety and had to stop blogging. The Trump rallies had a violence that was very similar to the kind that I feared.
I fear that no one will be allowed to disagree with Trump, and when the protests come in January, we will see force like we've never seen.
And all I can think about, it how can we protect each other? I don't know yet. But I want it to happen. It's hard to think about all of the things to fear from President Trump.
The world is now seeing America's darkness exposed. I hope we can shine a light again, soon.