This is my story and it written with the idea of no one will read it. Write it and release it to the universe, to outer space because I feel my story need to be told.
it is hart to beak a glass ceiling, everybody knows that, otherwise it would not have been called ceiling but just a glass, a random one. Sometimes it feels like mine is extra higher, made of tempered glass, and it is not because I trough the hardest the universe could offer, and not because I focus on my challenges and "Narrow my world is, as that of an ant" (Rachel). But life happened, and it has bumps and when feeling resistance and life don’t get easy on you consistently, it is hard.
I was born and raised in a small town in the periphery of Israel. it is not a secret that I didn’t have variety of options when I grew up, nevertheless I was raised to doubt, asking questions and wonder. At the age of 21 I was already engaged to someone and when I was 23 already got married, gave birth to my son a couple of years later. That was my revolt, that waiting. I chose to earn education, my parents and husband pushed me to sign into a profession's studies, to be able to earn money later, but I refused and signed instead for B.A in Special Education department without a teaching certificate because then I already knew that I was born to do something bigger than that. I chose in life as I was taught. I chose to fight mediocrity and not surrender it, even though it was the easier path to go through. Few years later, at the age of 26 I chose to separate from my husband. Society called it for "no reason". But I knew I was doing the right thing, knew that I deserved to feel love and caring. I knew that I am more than baby-making machine. honestly, I can write a long novel about how unbearable it was. Literally no body understood me, they took me as a hussy, but I knew I deserved better. More than that - my son deserves better and the sooner the better. So, I left the house when I got nothing but few pennies and a beautiful baby boy. took a tiny apartment, worked double shifts at work and signed to M.A in the closest University, which is 2 hours driving, 3 in bus. All that joy is in parallel to a divorce process. Pure pleasure, right?
I found it impossible to find scholarship, each single one of them demanded hours to volunteer in, time that I didn’t have as a single mother. Further as an ADD, template and forms were too long, and I was late for submitting time after time. But it didn’t stop me, I graduated with excellence outstanding greatest and chosen to continue for Ph.D. All over again, my family objected, they thought I was too much to deal with and at this time I barely saw my son. But my hope was not yet lost, I remembered my father's legacy even though it seemed like he forgot it himself. I remembered the heritage of the Jewish people, my people and chose to gallop forward, got the Presidential Excellence Scholarship, which it paid for the studies and subsistence allowance in the amount less of a thousand dollars (more like 700), with prohibition of work at this studding time, signed in the contract. Way of illustration – rent cost a hundred $, kindergarten 435 $ and all of that without bills, food, gas etc. I told myself that I can do this, I believe in myself even no one believes in me. These are some hard years, ex-husband left me impoverished, forced to quite the job and I have a little creature that need me and out future depends on ME. Being honest, I thought I will find some scholarships, after all, I am a single mother, from a slum, who chose to shuffle the deck life gave her, right? Well, wrong. I couldn’t find a single scholarship. Nothing. No one was interested to invest in that category. Not even one.
but hey! I'm not here for crying I do my best to provide, I know I chose right. I am not giving up despite life herds. So, I now, I live modest life, but I hope it is a decline for an increase in hope by increasing I will break the horror glass ceiling and get OUT OF HERE for better life, to give my son variety of options for development, for Interests, for breathing. Because for me it was air to lungs. Thank God I researchs at the department of Special Education, in fact I Modify a school-based suicide-prevention intervention program for adolescents with ASD, and I am totally in love with it. This special population capture my heart. Thank God for my son.
My name is Michal, I am 29 years old, a single mother and I'm on my way up to break the ceiling glass because I decided to.
P.S: please universe please please please send me fit scholarship, so I could keep going.
Is It True / Leah Goldberg
?Is it true - will there ever be days with forgiveness and mercy"
And you will walk in the field, like a simple wanderer.
Your feet on the small leaves will be gently caressed,
"Or the stings will be sweet, when you are stung by the rye's broken stalks