Why you should ask for what you want to make the world a better place

At the risk of sounding like Madonna in the 80s DONT SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST BABY.

Don't settle for second best because you are worthy of the best, and when you step into fully understanding this, you will get better results, you will be able to help even more people, and you fill the world with peace.

 

Yes really.

 

You are supposed to get what you want, you are supposed to reach for the stars.

You having what you desire means that you are a better person vibing at a higher level, serving more people, contributing to the world in a bigger way.

You staying small and settling for second best is damaging the world.

But here is the crux, we are taught to settle, especially us women.

So let's dive into why you should no longer settle and what you can do instead.

 

What is settling?

Settling is accepting good enough instead of holding out for great.

Settling is taking something which is not quite what you want.

Settling is staying quiet when you should speak up.

Settling is not saying what you really want in a clear way.

Settling is not knowing your own boundaries or not communicating them.

Settling is putting your last to please others.

Settling is being the good girl and putting others first.

Settling is taking something which is 'close enough' because you are afraid nothing else will come along.

Settling is saying yes when you mean no.

Settling is living in fear instead of in the light.

 

What is wrong with all of that you say?

Settling makes you feel less worthy - when you feel less worthy you won't reach your potential and the world misses out on what you are here to offer.

Settling fills up the space with good enough so that the GREAT does not have a space to come into.

Settling tells the universe you are ok with the small fry and that you didn't really want all the super cool and good stuff you claim you want.

Settling stops others from growing.

Settling shows your kids that they should put up with good enough.

Settling creates a power imbalance.

Settling makes you feel second best and then you attract more of that energy to your life.

Settling denies a person the opportunity and pleasure of giving you what you really want.

Settling creates ill feelings that you are pumping out into the world.

Settling means that you are thwarting your growth.

Settling means that you are denying immense pleasure which emits fab vibes into the universe.

 

At the root of all this settling is the desire to please others, to be the 'nice girl' to not 'cause a fuss'. And as you know, the way you to one thing in your life is how you do all things in your life. But settling is a sneaky little snake, it slithers its way in before you even know it is there. And we women, we are super good at settling because... (and pick any old chestnut here)

It is best not to rock the boat

what you give out comes back to you

it is more important to be kind than right

don't make a fuss

it is the right thing to do

But settling is not always the right thing to do, speaking up, in my experience is always the best thing to do. Now I know you will all be thinking about a fishmonger, screaming banshee right now, but speaking your truth and saying what is on your mind, stating your boundaries can be calm and collected and truly does serve EVERYONE, let me explain more.

 

When you state clearly what you want you will make others feel more comfortable.

You have all been around someone who settled before, let's say there was one steak dinner and one fish dinner, and the wife 'settled' for the fish dinner even though they wanted the steak because they knew the hubby liked steak. Later on, after a sullen dinner, a fight breaks out and the pair go to bed feeling pretty shit. Don't you think the energy of the relationship could have been kept great if the wife had spoken up? Don't you think the hubby might have feelings of being great since he chooses to give up the steak and now he feels on top of the world? But instead, they both wonder what the hell happened and why this relationship is in the dumps.

 

And how you settle in one area is also how you settle in other areas. You might not make the link, but not being able to state your true desires in something as simple as a meal choice can also affect your bravery and results in business.

 

When you state your boundaries firmly everyone wins. Let's say that your client asks you to add a vector logo to the package you are doing for her.  You did not allow time for this but the client is lovely and you want to make her happy so you do it. Then later in the day you feel a bit off, but you don't know why, then you yell at your kids, then you feel crap and so don't do your facebook posts for that day and then you miss out on getting a great new client who was looking for a graphic designer that day.  Your current clients feels a weird vibe off you and does not recommend you to a friend also looking for a graphic designer. You have lost three clients, bingo, just like that. Now, rewind, the client asks for a vector file and you say \" yeah of course no worries, I would usually charge $200 for that but I love working with you and so I am going to give it to you for $150, how does that sound?\" - happy client, happy you, you are nice to the kids, you do the post and your client recommends you!

 

Now take a peek around your life, where are you settling instead of speaking up?

Where are you not putting your desires first?

Where are you feeling resentful?

And what actions will you choose to take instead?

 

I know that once you start on this empowered journey of not settling that your life will get even better! that you will get greater results! feel happier! and do more good in the world!

 

And remember, together, we shall RISE

Michelle