Women are afraid to be visible because they are shut up, shut down and shut out

Women's fear of being visible stems from being shut up, shut down, and shut out 

Are you a soul-led entrepreneur who is afraid to be seen?

96% of female business owners I interviewed have a fear of being visible on their personal social media profiles and/or doing live videos.  Being visible when you have a soul-led business is paramount to success, so this is a big deal, and it is something I am passionate about helping women to move past. 

I am Michelle, a soul-led energy maverick, freedom fighting, empowerer of women, an animal loving, tree hugging empath, and a woman with a fire in her soul. You could say that I am obsessed with empowering women and you wouldn’t be wrong, some would call me a feminist, but I resist labels.

So where does all this fear of visibility begin? It begins with women being shut up, shut down and shut out. Now you might like to tell me at this point that this also happens to men, but let me tell you, not as much as it happens to women.

Women are taught to keep their opinions to themselves, to speak kindly, to consider others feelings, basically to not voice their truth if it will affect others. 

 Don’t believe me? Let’s look at a few examples.

How many times have you been talked over in a meeting?

How many times did your idea get brushed aside only to be picked up when a male around the meeting table suggested exactly the same thing?

How many times have you been chastised for being emotional in an attempt to keep you quiet and under control?

How many times do you back down when someone raises their voice?

How many times are you afraid to say what you really think?

How many times did one of your parents apologize for you as a child when you voiced your opinion in public?

How many times has someone not heard what you were saying?

How many times do you agonize over what you are going to say before you say it?

How many times do you go back and rewrite your posts (or articles) to tame them down?

How many times do you rein in an impassioned speech because you feel you are monopolizing air space and time?

How many times do you wish you had said less?

How many times has someone suggested you could approach a situation in a different way?

Enough is enough.

Men are generally more free to say what they please. I interviewed men as well and only 22% of them said they felt they had to stem what they really wanted to say.  Do not misinterpret what I am saying here, it is not a gender issue per se it is a society issue. We are being raised and treated in different ways.  My husband of 20 years agrees wholeheartedly with what I have to say here, and we are committed to raising our daughter in a whole different way.

What I see in my coaching paints a clear picture, the men are not as afraid of being visible as the women are.  Women have learnt to tone themselves down to fit in and be accepted. I heard “no one likes a bossy woman” at least once a day growing up, and isn’t that just so true?

When women say what they need or what they want they are called a nag.

When a man says what he wants he is direct.

The first step to change this for ourselves ladies, is to NOTICE what is going on. You don’t even have to take action to get some shifts in your perception, just notice when you get the feeling of wanting to ‘back off’ from visibility and explore in your journal what is going on. Over the course of the day your subconscious mind will throw up examples and long forgotten occurrences that had an impact on how you feel today.  Just acknowledging and sitting with those memories is a great first step forward.

The real work of course comes with diving into those long held beliefs and social conditioning and then empowering you to find your WORTH so that you WANT to stand up and say something.  It is not until we overcome this fear that we will be able to show and be visible and therefore… grow our soul-led businesses.

You see, you are your business, and other sou-led people want to see the real you before they will buy from you. They want to connect with you - because YOU are your business. You are not some large coca-cola corporation, you are here to change lives, and in order to change lives, you have to connect.

For more on becoming visible I invite into a free group where we practice just that, the group can be found on Facebook - Soul-Led Entrepreneurs Succeeding.

Now go and make some NOISE!