The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Memories are Made of These - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!  

SHE REMEMBERS

SHE REMEMBERS…She was just 5 years old. That’s as far back as she can remember. Crouched in a corner, fear writ all over her face. She couldn’t understand why!   Why was this happening? All she remembers and can picture - her mother being thrown from one corner of the house, bleeding, noise, glass breaking, shouting... Then SILENCE. It would be hours before she crawls out from her hiding place.

SHE REMEMBERS... Being dragged with her siblings, around midnight, seeking a safe place to hide, and settling safely for the night. She remembers her grandpa’s loving face. “Come here, darling”, he said. "Just sleep for now". "It'll all be better in the morning" To her, that was enough.

Her Grandpa’s arms were the safest place in the whole wide world. 

SHE REMEMBERS….Not hating, in spite of, but wondering, why? Why? Can she 'un remember' her childhood that was filled with fear and confusion? There were NO answers. 

SHE REMEMBERS… Going to school, trying to shut out the confusion happening at home. She needed to keep up. But all she remembers is her grandpa’s arms. That was her only safe place. Her safe haven.

SHE REMEMBERS...Her First Holy Communion day so vividly. She stood there before the altar, the priest asking her to forgive all the people who hurt her. She tried so hard. All she felt were warm tears go slowly down her face. She tried so hard to make Jesus understand. She knew deep down He did. "Please help me Lord to "un remember".

SHE REMEMBERS... Being confused, when she awoke in the middle of the night... She was 12 then, someone she trusted, took advantage of her and SHE REMEMBERS, the people who were supposed to keep her safe from creeps that were in the family…. Did not! The home was supposed to be a safe place for any little girl. If only she can "un remember"!

SHE REMEMBERS... being 21, FALLING IN LOVE, dreaming big dreams. "I have found my soul mate, the one that'll protect me from this world" or so she thought. Well, if only she could turn back time.

SHE REMEMBERS... The two miracles that came into her life - her boys, her heartbeats, her life! 

SHE REMEMBERS... Her dreams crashing to pieces, not long after the romance died. The past seemed to catch up with her wherever she went. She wanted to "un remember"! If only she could.

SHE REMEMBERS... Laying to rest the love of her life in his favorite blue shirt. He looked so handsome, lying cold and unresponsive. She remembers hugging her kids and telling them it’s going to be ok.

Now, SHE stands before you, a fighter, a survivor. And now, she can finally "UN REMEMBER"!

By

Elvina Carr