Disaapointment, Unfairness and Inequity: Who Wants a Pick?

Posted February 8, 2011 from Philippines

There have been many write-ups about this topic, self-help books, inspirational booklets, pamphlets, you name it. The ones that I have been read usually say the same thing. This article wont tell you why in the world should there be disappointments and injustice, neither how will you be able to avoid it. This is just to present how it feels to be in that position as it is, without condescension, without analysis or judgment.

Somebody close to my heart is currently in pain. His heart is aching because of disappointment with the turnout of something he badly wanted and hardly worked for. Each one of us had our share of disappointments. I believe nobody is immune to it, for even God experienced it when the first man and woman fell into sin. Disappointment is part of life that can show up unannounced at any time and place according to a writer I know (only by name).When disappointment isn’t dealt with properly, it can grow heavy and smother our hearts, and steal our joy. When even our seem to be minor letdowns slowly accumulate, our disappointment often turns heavenward. We subject ourselves and sometimes God to the inevitable question “WHY?”. Why is this happening to me? Why do my efforts have been laid to waste? Why couldn’t the drunk driver have been killed instead of my father? Why did the court release someone’s murderer? Why do righteous people usually finish last? Why doesn’t God enforce His own rules? Why can’t He hear me? Why does He allow His children to suffer this bad? These are only some of the questions that haunt those who think about injustice and inequity of life. But folks, where can we find answers in a world that seem so unfair? What can I tell that person I care for who is suffering? How will we restore our confidence in life and in God? So what do you say to a teenage girl who isn’t asked to the high school prom or to a high school boy who doesn’t get picked to play basketball? That disappointment is an inescapable part of life? That they’ll get over it soon enough? That God will get back to His senses in no time and will fix whatever mess you have tumbled upon? Nice try. Will those lines be enough to make those in pain smile? Fat chance. Disappointment clouds up one’s judgment. Talking them out of confusion and desperation would be sure no easy thing.

So what do we do? When we get disappointed, we are going through phases. First we feel bad about it. So we have to allow those in pain to be alone with their thoughts. Let them wander. They’d need a timeout. Sometimes we don’t even have to say a word. A single pat on their shoulder will make them know that we care for them. After feeling bad, we get angry, though oftentimes, these two overlap. Let those who suffer be angry. Anger isn’t a sin. Jesus did get angry when he cast away the merchants outside his temple. It’s in the manner of how we release that feeling that can be a sin depending on the circumstances. But we are allowed to be angry only for just a while. The last phase would be the coping up. After moments of torturing oneself, you have to decide to move forward. You can’t always have the things to turn your way, but you can always choose how you will react to each thing that happens. At the end of the day, you’ll just be choosing between making things better or worse for yourself.

They say life is like a roller coaster. I say it’s just another way of saying that letdowns are here to stay. Spoken like a true pessimist? No. I wouldn’t want disappointments on my way. But for a second thought, I’d just might. Why? It makes me better every time.

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