When you face serious problems in your house, speak it out!!!

Lily Habesha
Posted December 30, 2016 from Ethiopia

When we face some kind of problems in a family, we volunteer to keep silent. I just don't know why.

Just after i complete high school, one girl from a church came to our house. That girl is the first born for her parents. She was in grade ten.She had six young brothers and sisters by then. later that year we start to see another boy in their house. he doesn't resemble with any of them. all the girls had very soft and long hair and the boys black curled thick hair and big eyes. The new boy with brown and kinky hair, was not loved by any of them. they started calling him, brother.

As I learned later, he was a half brother to them. Their father had that boy from a wife in a rural area. Their mother is a wife in the city. In my friend's tribe, in southern region, the male keeps a wife in the countryside who'll take care of his farm. The male will come to the capital city and runs his business and allowed to marry a woman from town.

I was so annoyed to know that her father had two wives. Later she explained to me, her father gave little money to his wife in the country side and stopped seeing her. That woman will not be married by another man. May be, she'll be a mistress of some man or her life will be just like that. So crazy to me...woman in Asia and Africa have got it really tough.

My story is not about that, but about the young girl in Addis Ababa and about her sisters.

This girl used to visit our house everyday. She eats her lunch, snacks and dinner in our house. She'll be escorted to her house after my Mom warned, "It's to let for girls to walk in the darkness. Roman, you better go."

One day she came to our house early in the morning. She wanted to tell me something, but she was looking for a word how to begin the story.

"You know that, Tame is our half brother." said Roman.

"Oh, really?" I said. I didn't know why she wants to talk about him. I know there's nobody who is interested in him from her family. i just looked at her when she mentioned his name.

" You know what does every evening?"

"No. How can I? But my sister told me, she saw him yesterday walking around the bank. he puts on only his underwear and carried Bible. ha ha ha. You know what he said when she asked him what was he doing?"

" No. Tell me please."

"Tame told my sister, God called Him to preach his word. that was why he carried Bible. You know my families! When it comes to laughter, they'll smile all day long. They were making fun him and laughs out loud. You know they're all very young. But i was shocked and laugh with them seeing the things happen with their point of view. little girls and their giggle....LOL." I smiled at her, but she didn't.

"Ok, they also saw him. Do you know what he does to us? I mean , only for the girls. he keeps chasing us every day after midnight. our bedrooms have no doors, we can't lock them. We hang only curtains. he tried to rape all of us. Many of the days,he tries to rape my younger sister who is 18 months younger than me. last night, she woke up after he removed her panty hose. I'm telling you this because you keep my secrets. I know you won't go and tell to church members or to your sisters. Will you tell to my Mom? please don't, i beg you. this is the reason why we hate him. We supposed to love our enemies, but I don't love him only for this reason."

"Do your parents know about this?"

"Yes, we told to Mom, but I don't want to tell my father because he's his son. My Mom wants him to go the country side and to stay with his mother. He's possessed by some spirit to disturb our family. The little ones scream and shout to call our parents for help when he tries to touch'em."

She was expecting to get answer from me. But my mouth was sealed. I admire the courage to reveal her half brother's scandal. She thought, i was better than her. She though I live in peace. She thought I'd a good sleep while she was struggling with her brother. I envied her openness.

When I was in high school, there was a rumor about one of the school's administrator. He brought his own sister from up country telling their parents to help her to get a better education. But he raped her, she became pregnant, and then she was locked in and became his house wife.

When I was in grade ten, there was a Sunday morning Radio Program. It was famous all over Ethiopia.

There was a quiz one day.

"If my son's uncle is a brother to my own son. Who's the father and grand father of my son?"

We were given air time to answer the question by calling the radio station directly. But, nobody finds the answer.

Later the station explained why they ask that question. We brought this question because we're about to tell you some ugly story about one person.

This is the story: One man raped his own daughter. He kept doing that repeatedly to his own daughter. on top of that, he didn't allow her to speak that to anyone. She delivered a son and hid in her house. She is extremely stressed for many years after having that boy with her father. She always wanted to speak to someone. One day, when her father was not around, she called the radio station and tell her story. She didn't say her name or her father's. She described which area of the town she lives. My heart was broken when heard that story. My father started cursing the man.

I don't know what kind of help she got from the journalists who broadcast her story.

A problem shared is a problem halved.

Let's speak out.

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Comments 2

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Dec 31, 2016
Dec 31, 2016

Hello Lily, you are brave to write out this whole story! I was upset to read it. These are very troubled situations. I can understand how this confuses you and hurts you. You seem to have a very good memory of all that happened and the people involved. Keep writing of the stories that trouble you, for this is a way to share and clarify a way to some solutions. Remember, education is always a good answer. Boys, and girls, and mothers and dads need to learn, and discuss their family relationships. Do you have a community center? Do you have a place where people can come together to talk? I hope you keep writing.

Lily Habesha
Jan 16, 2017
Jan 16, 2017

Dear Worldcare,

We don't have any community centers for discussion. May be in some rural area, they can have...they do have according to traditions. They call everyone, and ask around, everybody says what he hears or suspicions and stuff. Then, they know who did what, they punish, they ...

Imagine, the civilized city people are sleeping, and the illitrates one are giving good judgements.

Thank you dear

Hope we will have one