Her Story: Experience sharing Program on Gender Based Violence

narayani khadka
Posted December 10, 2019 from Nepal
Her Story: Experience sharing Program on Gender Based Violence
I know how it feels to be a victim. I know the victim can fall into the dark depths, but I know she can stand up too with a big smile on her face.

           Her Story: Experience sharing Program on Gender Based Violence

 

To celebrate 16 days of Activism against Gender based Violence, on 7th of December 2019, I organized a program “Her Story: Experience sharing Program on Gender Based Violence ‘collaborating with my two organizations. Both Men and women were invited to share their stories.

The major aim of the program was to lessen the pain, guilt and shame which comes from such experiences.   

 Female representative of local governance was invited as a speaker to share her story.

 On the first phase we discussed about the history of 16 days long activism and introduced the topic to the participants.  We also discussed about the forms and dimensions of the gender based violence.

 

In the Second phase, female representative of local governance, shared how differently male and female representatives are treated. Public trust male officers but doubt the ability of a female officer.

The participants who were comfortable shared their experiences on GBV on their own. “My father was working out of the town, when we first moved to the capital, Kathmandu.  We bought a piece of land in the capital. The property owner somehow deceived us and destroyed all the documents. One night he came to our home with a long knife. We were so terrorized, my mother was all alone with two children. I was traumatized for a long time because of this incident.”

Shared one of the participants sobbing.

Those who were not comfortable enough to share their stories, wrote anonymously. The stories were later distributed to some other participants to recite.

“After I joined my college, I found I could relate to a group of male classmates. I would hang out with them. One day the Director of my college, saw me hanging out with a group of guys outside a cafe. Later, he called me privately and brought up the fact that I being a girl was hanging out with guys. He ashamed me, he questioned my character and also asked me if smoked cigarettes/ weed. After that I was judged, constantly being watched upon. It disturbed me in both mental and emotional ways. It took me a long time to get over of it.”

Another story read, “I had a really good guy friend. We would live in the same community. One day we were in his home, he sexually harassed me. Somehow I was able to save myself from him that day.

But I couldn’t share that incident to anyone not even with my best friend. I always felt fearful and insecure in the school.”

One guy shared a story he knew. A school girl belonging to Muslim Community had gone to school to get admission but the principal of the school denied her admission because she was wearing a Hijab. This issue became viral in social Medias and she later got the admission.

When I was in the school my teacher knowingly and intentionally hit on my back and pulled my bra strap from the back. My internal marks were deducted solely because I used to hang out with m male class mates in my college. Shared one of the participants.

We discussed about legal remedies of these sort of violence.

I also shared a story of GBV I recently faced. A guy came in my work place seeking a legal service from me. He passed a comment based on my gender saying that I was too young for the work.

We discussed about diverse areas of this topic. Work place harassments, wage gap, banishment during

 Menstruation and other forms of stereotyping prevalent in Nepalese society.

“I came to know about the mistakes that I made in my past. I have realized the violence I was normalizing. I am surely going to prevent myself from doing such thing in my near future.”

One of the guy shared a beautiful realization. It made me extremely happy.

People were happy to know new things, happy to share experiences they had been holding from a long time ago. This was a successful program. But this is not the end. I will always be there with those who are impacted by GBV in all the ways I can. I was able to organize this program with many supporting hands likewise we can change the world together.

Comments 20

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Anita Shrestha
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

Thank you for sharing

narayani khadka
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

Pleasure is mine dear sister.

Jill Langhus
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Hello Lovely Narayani,

Thanks for sharing your event and some highlighted stories from your event, too. What a great idea and outlet for these poor people. How many people were in attendance and do you plan on doing another, similar event?

Hope you're doing well and having a great day!

XX

narayani khadka
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Hello Dear Jill,
I am doing really well. How are you doing?
Yaeh I will conduct event like this sort of events in near future.There were 20 people . Most of them were boys. Thank you for your kind words.
Have a good day
Lots of love

Jill Langhus
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019

Hello love:-)

Great to hear! I'm doing well, thank you:-)

You're welcome! Hope you have a great, rest of the day and weekend, dear!

XX

Lisbeth
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Hi dear,
Yes I agree with you keep up that fight for them. It's sad for what young innocent girls go through in your country. Well, without such incidents there can never be changed will they?
You will be that change. Best regards

narayani khadka
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Dear Lisbeth, thank you for your kind words. We all will be the change that the world is inneed of.
Kind Regards

Juliet Acom
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Hi Narayani,
Thank you for sharing your story and advocacy but most of all breaking barriers and stereotypes common to your community. I realise that it is not much different from what is happening in Uganda and We must surely do something about it.
I wish you all the best in this en devour.
cheers!

baganda
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

merci de partage cette belle histoire

narayani khadka
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

vous êtes la sœur la plus bienvenue

baganda
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

merci

Sinyuy Geraldine
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

Hello Nara. Thanks for sharing this and for making others feel better by telling their stories. Telling it heals.

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

Hello, Narayan,

Great job and congratulations on organizing this event! I'm glad that it brought fruitful discussion among the participants. I'm proud of you, dear. Keep up the great work! Thank you for sharing this with us.

Leonora Le Saldo
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019

My sister,
Thank you for sharing this story about your event and than you for providing a safe space for men and women to share, heal and be open. I loo forward to hearing more about your program and I rejoice with you that it was successful.
Blessings.

ARREY- ECHI
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019

The time to speak is now. Well done for spearheading this discussion and making it inclusive for men and women.

ANJ ANA
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019

Dear Narayani,
Thank you for sharing the update of your initiatives during 16 days of activism. It's inspiring that men and boys are also part of discussion and participants sharing their feelings on gender-based violence. Its also a opportunity for people to realizing what they are doing so far, which they should not be doing. Good work, keep it up. All my moral support is with you as a joining your hand together to change the world together.
my best wishes to you and your organization
Anjana

Stephtalks
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019

Powerful! Story telling is a good way to leverage an advocacy. I pray we all can on me day cease the podium to break every silence surrounding the unfair treatment and acts of violence meted on the female gender.

Tamarack Verrall
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019

Dear Narayani,
"I organized a program". These words jump out at me right away. And especially on the subject of Gender Based Violence. It takes time, energy and courage to organize an event, and your planning so beautifully brought such important revelations and sharing. Big congratulations!

Spiritedsoul
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019

Sounds wonderful, glad people are able to share their stories, and heal from the past.
Hugs and love,

sujit
Jan 08
Jan 08

What a great initiative Narayani! It must have been cathartic for the participants and brave of you to include men as particpants.