My journey to becoming (part 1)

\"Beginning from the end\"

My story may not be an award-winning one, may be not even be one worse to what others have been through, but I believe  it's  worth telling, to may be inspire someone or teach someone. Today, I've  come to understand myself better. This has  kept me thinking, and had me search my past only to realize that everything about my life all started since the childhood i could remember.All I've ever wanted in life was to love and be loved back, but a careful thought    Sometimes i sit alone and wonder about the words people (my family members; both extended and immediate, friends, school mates and myself) would say at my funeral. Would they say I was a good daughter, a better mum, an excellent wife, a reliable partner, a confident, a boss lady and most especially would I rate myself to have been fair to myself? But in asking myself  these questions and thinking through,  I realized this might not be the case because along the journey I was awakened and decided to becoming a better version of myself: the daughter who would try to bring the family together despite the differences; the mother who would look after her children, school and work at the same time; the friend who refuses to remain under her friends' shadows but decided to show the world she's got somthing inside too, with all the imperfections; a spouse who refused to stay back at home and decided to pursue her dreams and passion even without money nor support from her husband; a class/course mate who still pushes through her education even without a click; a colleague who still manages to be effective at work even with all the mounted pressure from family and the society; a me who may not be influencial, but contributed in so many ways in making my family, the community, society,  my area, region nation, and the world better. Yes! Yes! Yes! That is me, that is what i would love to say to myself at my funeral, because I've learned to love myself more. 

Today I may not say I am very successful especially in terms of cash and other material possession but in some way I can say with certainty I have achieved a degree of self-actualization. I am a school counselor,  and the founder/CEO of Young Professionals Foundation: a startup organization focused on giving young people the opportunity to do what they love doing and can do best, go for exchange programs, and gain school-to-work transitional skills in preparation for the highly competitive world of work. More to that I am married to a kind-hearted but unsupportive man and we have been blessed with 3 (all boys) handsome kids.  I have done so many free online courses because I cannot afford paying the tuition fee for online  courses for schools abroad, not even a patlrtial scholarship, talkless of traveling abroad to study, even though it is a desired dream. In fact I have never been out of my country, and this is one of the many areas my friends have used to make me feel inferior and 2nd class to them, in a bid to make me remain under their shadows. However I am undertaking a masters program in guidance and counseling from one of my home universities, the university of Buea. As I continue to unveil to you my journey  into becoming an influencial motivational speaker, a great mother and spouse, a women's empowerer and leader, a transformational boss lady/ CEO,and an efficient not just school counsellor but equally a community youth counsellor, I implore you to sit back and wait for subsequent series or parts of this story in the days to come. You can leave comments or questions for clarity. Hoping to hear from you.