Times up

Nicole reid
Posted August 11, 2017 from Australia

July 2016 went with my partner down to see if she was pregnant found out she was 21 weeks we did not even know. Cut to 1 month later where both in a Qec preanting assessment program we both fail to pass the test this means we are to have our child removed into out of home care. At this point I had failed to get treatment for myself I have gender issues. Can I say 17 years of failing to receive help for gender and abuse hit me right in the face that day. Knowing where going to be spending the next 4 months in and out of the children's court to hear how much you fails shaved right into your face. Now SSeptember lumes and 6 days back to back in children's court dhhs calling 11 witnesses. Now I am draind nothing's left my feet buckle from the amount of stress I feel faint form months of failing being shoved in my face. But the I decided no more surviving I want to live I show these people the true coarrage and strength of a woman with a will to live and I found that it made me stronger better and want more failing to me was a weekness something to avoid, but I found out the no goals or ambitions well be made by not unwilling to fail.

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Spreading the message of the human message that I spend and hope that who ever you are can gain the inspiration to ask for help or to seek it even if you need a motivated in your life make my words your motivation

Comments 11

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Jill Langhus
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017

Hi Nicole. Welcome to the World Pulse community:-) Thanks for sharing your sad story. You are strong and will get through this and you have come to the right place for support. What is the Qec assessment program? Are you having to fight for the right to keep your child?

Nicole reid
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017

Our child was born premature and whilst waiting and doing some kangaroo care we had a visit form a hospital  appointed social worker she told as that due to my mental illness and my wife's disability that we they where involving department of health and human services child protection department. They demanding  that we go straight from the hospital into a assessment what they do is watch you 24 hours a day 7 days a week they may come into your room when ever they pleased to do so you do not have a say in the matter with this program  they montor how you feed,hold,and change your child. We had no education in looking after a child my partner  and i both have very lengthy  child abuse history. So the first time we hit court we where to find out no matter what we did after failing the Queen Elizabeth centre a during a consliation hearing we found out that our child was never going to be able to rejoin our house hold. but fully knowing we would never gain custody of our child Dhhs keep on throwing things at us first we where to do a IQ  test at the court  appointed psychological services. After the the 2nd test is a program called pasda it a in home prenatal assessment program that we yet agin had to end due to my gender issues  i failed not once but twice  i did not educate my self on a child or treat mental health issues. Now i have a week long court battle where we really have no chance of even have a family  reunification order being obtained but I will attend and I will not fail in showing how much I care about our child. Right now iam working with a young woman who is helping others with mental health issue and confidence and domestic violence, this work with her company is the best volunteer work i have done I be involved in a documentary on discussion about my life and how abuse is a human issue and should not be stigmatized. I now know my time is up and I can no longer ignore the issue and I am tired of failing. I am tired and physically sick as the stress has taken it toll but I will show people the inner strength courage and passion that a woman can have 

Here is a link to the qec http://www.qec.org.au

Jill Langhus
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017

Oh, that is sad, Nicole. So, the QEC is helping you to gain custody of your child? That's great that you're using your personal experiences and past challenges to heal others, though. It's inspiring. I hope you can regain custody of your child soon. Please keep us posted on your progress. Sending you love and light to you, your partner and the situation.

Nicole reid
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017

All qec reports belong to dhhs they are not helping us to regain custody. As stated our child will not be able to rejoin our family. in the next 2 weeks we will lose right to see our child this means any rights to have visits with our child.

Even knowing we will not have a good outcome in court we will attend and show our child we keeped on fighting intill the end. I will not fail careing for my child even if I die from the stress alone that's what it going to take. A lot of who read this wounder what good comes from this I am mentoring and working with people on domestic violence and mental health I have and still am the wounded healer. 

This failure is a big one and has cost my family our child

Jill Langhus
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017

Oh:( I thought you were saying it wasn't a permanent thing to not have your child and that you would keep fighting for her, but now that sounds like it's not the case. It's not your failure, though, but a failure of the system.

Nicole reid
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017

At first I saw failing as a weakness I thought I lost it all no friends no family no job I felt what am I living around here for there's no hope. But then my calling came to me I saw the message a young woman was sending others. I thought I would like to help how could I do it. I had to dig deep into my own failers and there's more then two of them and I saw the impact on my mental and physical health when wining I saw ripple positive effect it had to those around me with out failing I could have been blinded to all the positive effects failing can have.

Rule 1 don't be afraid to failing

My favourite quote "our greatest fear isn't that where inadequate it's that where stronger then we imagine"coach Carter)

Jill Langhus
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017

Yes, people are afraid to fail, and yes, you are generating a positive, ripple effect. Good for you!

Nicole reid
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017

Sometimes it's easy to forget what we have that is good  in our life so I want everyone to take photos of things that make you feel good and I want you to make a scrap book so when your feeling down you have a book to reminding yourself of all the good things you have

Nicole reid
Aug 15, 2017
Aug 15, 2017

I want to talk about a woman's intuition this is what i failed to pay attention to all women have this and are more in tuned  with our emotions and intuition . Fighting your own instincts and feelings hinders  your ability  to heal and improve your well being and mental health.

improvements on listening to your woman's intuition will be a major impact in your life

rule 2 listen  to your woman's intuition

Nicole reid
Aug 15, 2017
Aug 15, 2017

I wanted to talk about three important word's any one can ask another person ARE YOU OK!

these three word's can effect a very important ripple effect in people mental health. I find that a lot of people the i work with have hidden  there trauma and this get's internalized as very painful burning and other issues . i want these three words to be come a world question that you ask and show other's around you that there not alone and ARE YOU OK!

Nicole reid
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 17, 2017

believe in yourself!.

these words often don't seem to hit the right marked when right now you need to be the best you possible and you can get no matter the limitation you have and I did not believe in my self and that's when real failing begins.