Doing what's hard isn't easy

Nicole reid
Posted December 20, 2018 from Australia

doing what's hard isn't easy. In my life remember my child hood and teen age years where marked with violence both of a pyiscal and sexual nature. At the age of 24 I was in an emotional hell I was 160 kg and on a truck load of anti depression medication and benzos. When I was 29 I did not relize how my life would be ripped apart. At 1.01am my daughter was born prematurely and spending monts in special care hospital.in the month I would spend 2 years in and out of court fighting for my chances to be a mother. Adruing September I started running and learning mindfulness and I was contemplating on turning my life around. Aduring my court battles I had to be asset by a psychologist and psychiatrist because of my past and my dignosdia wasn't good. PTSD with border line porsenatily and gender dysphoria. Most of the reports read never treated truama or gender dysphoria and risk to child. I rembreme running every day with rumnateing thoughts of the people I hate and how revenge pictures ran through my mind. I found myslmy trying to find ways to battery this thoughts. The philosophy in my mind was do what is harder. It easy to hate and be voilent but it harder to forgive and live peacefully. It took many months of this mind battle. Many people could know this feeling. But building more bombs won't win wars but Strat genocide. Doing what's hard is not so easy even when it cost my job took my child

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Jill Langhus
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018

Hi Nicole,

Thanks for sharing your very true, honest, and sad story with us. How are you doing now? Did you get custody of your daughter? I totally agree that it's easier to be hateful and violent, if that's what you were taught and that it takes a conscious decision to be kind and peaceful every day until it becomes easier. I'm glad you took the high road and presumably feel much better in your mind, body, and spirit from it?

You may want to consider submitting a story and/or video for the current call for stories "A World Free of Violence." If so, this is the link for the call: https://www.worldpulse.com/en/voices-rising/story-awards/89332.

Hope you have a good day!

Lisbeth
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018

Dear Nicole,
Its very true doing the right thing is not easy. Good you didn't resolved to revenge, this could only destroyed you. And besides God is the best revenge for all injustice being :-)

Regards

Ngala Nadege
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018

Hi Nicole
Thank you for sharing your sad story .

Mauwa Brigitte
Jan 15
Jan 15

Hi!
I have gone through your history, the difficult things ask the support of God to achieve it without him; you will not know. God asks us to forgive, forgiveness releases us from the prison of the devil. Have you received Christ in your life? Know that Jesus loves you with unconditional love!

Beth Lacey
Apr 25
Apr 25

I hope you continue to make progress

ARREY- ECHI
Apr 29
Apr 29

Hello Nicole,
Thank you for being so open to share your story with us.
Thank you for doing what you can to turn your life around, You are a courageous person.
I hope things ended well for you and your daughter.
Love and hugs

leila Kigha
Jun 13
Jun 13

thank you for sharing your story with us Rachel.
we will love to hear where you are now?
please do update us about your current situation.

Nicole reid
Jun 13
Jun 13

I think it has been 2 years since I have started a journey of discovering self resilience. My life has been marked with emotional neglect a lot of people have been emotionally neglected. When times got tuff on me mentally I turned in wards for resolveing issues. My 2 years has been focused narrative involving trauma and emotional abuse. I haven't managed to have custody of my daughter but I have been able to regain my life and have a good quality of life and to gain an education. Many have said I should work with people in gaining a community to help. I I haven't done that yet. At the moment I am bringing a common law suit against the state government in Australia.