Olanike Adesanya
Posted December 7, 2020 from Nigeria

Violence Against Women, Whenever this phrase is used, people always think it's only about inflicting physical injuries on Women or Girlchild.

By my assessment, Violence Against Women also covers the areas of preferential treatment given to the male child over female. This may sound so strange, though, but the it's true that in most part of Africa (Nigeria) female children are still treated as less than human. Most parents still believe they have not gotten a child, even if they have a dozen of girls.

#The feelings is a Violence Against Women.

The terms, "Olori-Ebi, Daodu, Arole" et al, are used to place a boy on top of a girl in the house, even if it is obvious that the girl in the house is performing better than the boy of the house.

#I say this also is violence against women. 

Where I come from, it is considered a waste of resources to send a girl to school with the little family resource, it would rather be expanded on the boy who is believed to carry on with the family Names. Isn't it funny?

#I call it "Violence Against Women".

You may not even know that among a Major tribe in Nigeria, there are some chieftaincy Titles that are not conferred on any man whose wife is unable to bear a BOY.

#I call it too an act of Violence Against Women.

In this same community, a special type of cap is not meant to be worn by any man who has his children ALL GIRLS or doesn't have a Boy.

#That too is Violence Against Women.

I am still trying to phantom the reason Boys Names are written first in school registers, in blue ink and Girls Names written after, and are written under the Boys', and are written in Red ink. Instead of just arranging all Pupils name alphabetically.

#I would refer to that that too as Violence Against Women,

Though it doesn't stop the girls from ranking 1st to 10th positions after the exams, that is the only time you would see Girls Names written before on in-between the Boys.

When you hear names like Kolawole, Olakunle etc (Wealth in the house) in my community such names are only given to the Boy, because the general belief is nothing so good can come into the house through the Girls, though that same Girl may eventually become the family bread winner, no lesson is learnt.

#It's also termed as Violence Against Women by me. 

The lady of the house goes to work, brings home the money to feed the house, pays the children's school fees, pays the house rent and pick more bills and the hubby still sees her as the cook, and washwoman in the same house he does nothing but a community loof around, and the only reward she gets is her inlaw's insult.

#It's another violence against women.

This is exactly the reason I am always concerned about these future Women and their empowerment.

A well equipped Girl of today grows up to a egalitarian of tomorrow. She is likely to be more stable, more independent, more equipped and more informed about her rights, exercise them and get less abused.

Most of the Girls (minor) so abused in my community are "Omo-odo" (housemaids). The ages of those "Omo-odo" range from 6 to 16yeaers. They are sent to the field of life make money for the family while their male counterparts remain at home enjoying the money. If the parents of such children appreciate gender equality, they would not just set them on such edge.

#This attitude is Violence Against Women.

I still believe if More Girls are assisted and they receive help and are prevented from dropping out of track, be it a school or a Trade,  when they eventually become women, they are not likely to become just wife of circumstances, but Mothers capable of RULING THEIR WORLD.

I still maintain that everyone tries not to allow a Girlchild drops off the track. 

No Girlchild Must Dropout (NGMD)


Thank you.

This story was submitted in response to Sharing Solutions: Ending GBV.

Comments 8

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Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 16, 2020
Dec 16, 2020

Hello, Olanike,

Thank you for expounding and sharing what violence against women means. Thank you for speaking up and for standing against GBV!

Olanike Adesanya
Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020

Uwc Sis.
There must be a change, positive.
Much ❤️

leila Kigha
Dec 27, 2020
Dec 27, 2020

Great share sis!

Olanike Adesanya
Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020

Feels great to do.

J Brenda Lanyero
Dec 28, 2020
Dec 28, 2020

Hello Olanike.
Thank you for the clarification of what Gender Based Violence Against Women is really is. Most times a number of those are over looked.

Spread the message untill all hear about it.

Good job. Continue writing girl

Sisterhood love and hugs.

Olanike Adesanya
Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020

Thanks Sis.
Love you loads.

Dec 31, 2020
Dec 31, 2020

Dear Olanike,
What you are saying completely resonates with me. Gender bias and gender discrimination are so innate in Indian society that we dont realize while reiterating it again and again in our life. such strong is our social conditioning!!

Olanike Adesanya
Dec 31, 2020
Dec 31, 2020

Even in India?
This Gender imbalance is a serious Matter that needs urgent attention; attention as simple as making information available to the vulnerable.
No time is more appropriate than now...