The Power of Resilience...mine paid off

My Journey

My name is Nneka Chijioke Dikeocha. I am the fifth child in a family of nine. I come from a small village in Eastern Nigeria known as Aku. I was born in the Northern Nigeria, Adamawa State to be specific. However we left Jimeta-Yola and relocated to the village in the 80s’ after an unrest (Popularly or notoriously known as MATASINA-a mixture of religious and ethnic conflict) that claimed the lives of many and destruction of properties.) With this; my parents had to leave the town to relocate to the village.

In the village; my parents had no other option but to become farmers since this needed little or no skill or financial resources. My siblings and I were enrolled in the village schools and we started life afresh.

But very importantly; my father understood the importance of education and ensured that we all were attending school despite the economic hardship being faced by the family. I remember having to choose between school fees and Christmas dress, having to choose between textbooks and a new pair of dress but we kept going. I remember my father waking me up very early in the morning before 4am and with his old kerosene lantern in his hand, we trekked long distance to the school in the nearest town since there was no secondary school in my own town. I remember the nightmares and lost of sleep I used to have at the mere thought of the long distance I have to cover on foot the next day. I had once collapsed in school from fatigue from having to trek to and from my own town to go to school. I remember being the only soul on the lonely village pathway in the early morning. I remember running into the bush several times at the sound of an oncoming tipper(notoriously known in those days for kidnapping little girls). I remember going to school on an empty stomach! Oh my story! But today; my resilience has paid off!

In 1995, I finished primary school and got admission into the secondary school and graduated in 2000 and in 2002 I gained admission and graduated in 2006. None of these were easy; I could not pay my fees. Most times, I only paid my tuition fee in order to be allowed to attend classes. I remember how many times I was driven from school because of my inability to pay my fees.

I knew my struggles, I knew what I had to go through and I know that not many girls had the privilege I had. My father was and is still my biggest cheerleader, he had always had my back and encouraged me but many girls were and are not as lucky as I was/am.

I have watched girls grew up in my village with the only ambition of getting married. I watch girls daily in my village doing meagre jobs just to buy cosmetics to look good in order to attract a suitor. Girls in my village has been cajoled into believing that the biggest ambition and achievement a girl could have is to get married and that’s all. In my village, women who try to break this glass are seen as rebels and a never do well especially if you did not land a man on time.

My biggest challenge is how to change this concept and establish a community where girls’ mentality has been changed and both community leaders see girls’ education and empowerment as compulsory.

As part of my contribution to create change in this area that has been bothering me I have organized sensitization meetings with the key community groups like parents, women group, youth groups.

However; for a more impactful change, I want to have a more coordinated forum where life building skills are being impacted to girls including career choice, defining life goals, pursuing life dreams, negotiation, resiliency and providing a strong leadership and mentorship and role model opportunities for girls to pursue their life dreams.

My target is the basically the women but the need to start with young women/adolescent girls because I know this is a very critical period in life and I believe if they are caught young, the battle will be won.

Though I already have some support from friends and families but I need a more stronger support system to make my voice heard.

Even though I am already doing something but I need my capacity to be improved in this area to be able to lead a more coordinated impactful outreach, leadership, mentorship, inspiration and role modelling to girls to aspire to move forward in boldness to get a life, pursue a vision and become something in life.

I want to be known as a woman who is known to have provided leadership to girls and helping girls become whom they are meant to be. I want to be remembered as that woman who challenged girls to get out and get going. I want to be known and remembered as the woman who challenged the status quo in her era and led an army of women and girls who rose to become giants and became leaders in their chosen paths in life. I want to be remembered as the woman who led a movement that forever changed the history of girls in my area. I want to be girls’ heroine. I want to be Women’s champion. I want to be a pathfinder, a pacesetter and the way maker for girls. I want to be remembered as that one woman who dared girls to become the best they could be in life. I want to live in my life time to see my girls succeeding, making waves, leading change platforms. This is my life wish and If I have to speak to my magic wand, this will be one of my cherished wish. I want as I take my last breath here on earth and I take one look back, I will smile and know that YES I DID IT! This is what I want to be remembered for.