Growning up as an orphan in a poor home /peer pressure/ macturity in my youth



Here a youth of my age growing up in a poor home as a teenager ,losed her parents at a very youthful age and then was living with her grandmother. I had the dreams of a book writter and I had always desired to become a lawyer. I had a limitation ,I forgot I wasn't able to, because my home had no solid foundation when it comes  to finance . I losed my confidence as a youth ,I lived in between comparism and education ,I can say I was comfused but I wasn't because I needed care like any other person . My friends made me feel very inferior amongst them ,true I had nothing good to show for ,I looked funny at school and even worst at home . There was this thing called peer pressure , of course my friends were the most attractive and had boyfriend's and the first class ,I needed to fit in ,I wanted friends too but unfortunately that was wrong but as days went on and I kept on trying , it never worked for me because I was poor and lived in a funny and less attractive building . I started loosing friends and had enemies more ,it wasn't my fault I say ,that I was an orphan . I began to forcus more on my looks than my education and started disobedience at home because I couldn't get what I needed ,I was tired of Insult in the quarter and at school . I needed to fit in a space like any other child but as time went on I began to see my grandmother  faded away. Now, who will sponsor me in school, who will guide me mentally because I lived amongst bully's who gave me little or no concern at that age ,I needed serious guides but no one was  available..I lived in regrets an great pain , uncle's and Aunty's kept on lying to help me but no one did help me . Days went on and I began to see myself growing on more macture . I had only toilet tissue to use during mentruation and that was harmful to my health ,thanks to herbal care I would have had serious infection which obviously I once had serious and terrible complications . Tell me , at that time I was bent on taking from boys to care for my sanitaries and under wears . I thank God because I didn't mess up because that would have been the end of my story . 



i started going to church and attending serminars which some adults invited me to attend ,I had the privilege for the first time where I learned alot and it began to change me and healing some terrible inner wounds I had in my heart . I know it wunt still change the fact that I'm still an orphan till date and I am still living like a begger at the mercy of others and still hoping for some help from people but I think I am  better than before because I Know God now and I am pleased because at my age now I know the value of acquiring more knowledge and creating impacts in this generation. World pulse for women empowerment is my joy ,it makes me feel great like I have never felt this way in a million years . My past is my story today and I love my story because it keeps me going . I'm growing to be the best even if there is no money ,I most be that person every one would like. For I am living in a generation of child abuse , peer pressure and so on . There is morethan enough work to do than living in regrets and pain ,for it wunt get me nowhere.



I finally losed my grandmother in 2016 and there I struggle and i had my Olevels and in 2018 I had my Advance level . Not any easy fight but I am at home because of the malitarian crises In my country but not much I know there is more waiting for me out there . I am pleased because I am here and been here I hope will make you all pleased that is my story In a summary . I will let any youth know that circumstances of life wether good or bad shouldn't take away your confidence but instead fight peer pressure, gender base violence , inferiority complex and other social ills to get money but go more for knowledge. I am Npako Moudi ivoline . Now I'm 21years old  .Thanks to adult mentorship and counseling,   .... Thanks to world pulse for women empowerment .

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