Guttural Utterings
Mar 26, 2018
First story
Twisted
Broken
Tattered
Scarred
No one really there
Here I am
Filling the gutters
With blood
Regaining my senses
I came to
With a smack on the pavement
I Awoke
As if from a bad dream
To the fact that
I’d been dragged through
The gutter
All my life
I picked the sandwich wrappers
Bits of chewed gum and
Cellophane from my hair
Pulled the leaves out of my socks
Got up
Stretch
Yes, I could move
Move
I did!
Away from the gutters
And the cities that inhabited them
Away from the plate glass windows
That stared back at me
With empty eyes
My eyes
Reflecting the nothing
“They” saw me as
The worthless discarded debris
“They” had tossed out
Used up
The torn tattered images of me in
Child pornography
The baggage dumped
Unceremoniously
Out of men’s beds in sleazy motel rooms
The baggage dumped
Unceremoniously
On a carousel to nowhere
Homeless
I escaped
Into the cavities of unknown
I escaped
Into nature
I cried
Screamed
Raged
Under the cover of darkness
On stormy nights
Hidden by claps of thunder
The wild animals of the forest
Unafraid
Bore witness to my pain
The coyotes howled
As I let loose
The terror
That had held me together
Like a spring finally sprung
A deer walked gently
Around my tent one night
As my screams ripped
The silent air
She gave me comfort
Circling
Circling
Circling
I received a gift
A sense of wholeness
Connection
THIS is where I belong
With moss for a bed
Branches for my cover
I curl against the earth
Receiving her tenderness
Until the terror melts
From my cells
And I can safely hug trees
Now I feel the birds alight on my hand
I am not quite ready for human touch
The gutter was just too much
But the wildness gives to me
What I can now
Hope
To someday
Receive fully
From womonbeings
You Are My Someday!