Contentment and Under-achievement

OgechiYakno
Posted January 23, 2021 from Nigeria
Waiting but Moving

Lying in my bed at 11:41am on a Saturday morning, I thought to myself "what have you really done to impact your world?." The response my competition gave didn't sit well with me. And it's not the first time. I would say I've lost count.

I've never been one driven to compete. I find myself being content but with a terrible feeling of under-achievement. My competition is some greatness awake deep inside me. I can't place my hand on its location. But it's there. I know.

My role as a Communications Lead in an NGO & the fact that I'm a soon to be Ph.D holder only leaves me wondering why this feeling of under-achievement? And why not?

It's believed in my circle that being married & staying married is some form of achievement. Well I'm just five years down the road and it feels great. But the feeling of under-achievement.

I do travel into the future, a vast place, where my short trips to, won't allow me explore completely. A place I long to be. A place where, I become one with or more than my competition lying awake inside.

I believe achievers in World Pulse to be in that place.

This is me introducing myself.

Comments 13

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Jill Langhus
Jan 23
Jan 23

Hello Ogechi,

Welcome to World Pulse. Thanks for sharing your first post. I think if you're not inclined to compete, then I wouldn't do it. It's not who you are, and wouldn't be authentic or feel right. Oh, wow! So, what would you like to be doing? What do you love doing? What do you dream about doing? I hope you find your inner passion, dear, and then honor it:-)

OgechiYakno
Jan 23
Jan 23

Hi Jill,
Thanks a lot. I'm passionate about research, field trips especially the type that allows me to understand people's and corporations' experiences; my environment.... Finding the best ways to communicate my findings in such a way that they lead to actions or bring about some positive changes... The thought of getting to do these on small and larger scales brings me joy.

Jill Langhus
Jan 25
Jan 25

Hi Ogechi,

You're very welcome. Well, I think you know where you need to be focusing on, then, dear:-) Is there a way that you can make your dream a reality, one little step at a time? Make your heart and soul joyful... fulfill your purpose:-) XX

OgechiYakno
Jan 25
Jan 25

Happy New Week Jill.

On this- Is there a way that you can make your dream a reality, one little step at a time? I would say YES!
So in this very week, my colleague and I will be traveling to Kano State, Northern Nigeria to have dialogue with about 50 small holder farmers. The plan is to have the farmers speak on their experiences, ideas (for example, on best farming techniques) and challenges. Then we would also share with them, what we know about Agroecology (a sustainable agricultural practice). Hopefully, at the end of the dialogue, we all will come up with some resolutions that would be shared widely (with the media, partners and public). This is the best part of my job though I do not get to make these trips very often. But it is a step. I would share the outcome of the dialogue with WorldPulse. So, please keep you fingers crossed for me on this. Hugs...

Jill Langhus
Jan 27
Jan 27

Thank you!

Yes, I think so. I'm in the process of doing just that:-)

Yay! Sounds awesome. Great job. It sounds like a big step. Looking forward to hearing how it goes:-)

I will do just that!

Tamarack Verrall
Jan 23
Jan 23

Dear Ogechi,
I celebrate your finding World Pulse and being willing to, with your first story, let us know who you are. I love your self-questions. Immediately I was able to spot Yes! A woman who questions her reason for being here, and that question: "what have you really done to impact your world?" that those of us who want to really live our lives with purpose, ask ourselves. Along with it that we continually question ourselves as to whether we ourselves are failures at what we do, or are somehow under-achieving, that mix of what we have been taught to believe, but also from some really deep place. We shed what we have been taught: to not trust ourselves. Run with whatever you have wanted to do! And you think you have found your home base in World Pulse. You have!!! And it is a joy to welcome you to this sisterhood. You are a poet!
Tam

OgechiYakno
Jan 23
Jan 23

Dear Tam,
Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here. This is the place! Wow!

Adriana Greenblatt
Jan 24
Jan 24

Ogechiyakno welcome to World Pulse! Thank you for your candour and introducing yourself, mask-free. I agree with Tam that the questions you ask are guiding questions and I love you put them out there. What is achievement? I so hear you on that feeling of not doing enough, and yet I see a woman at the cusp of discovering her power and achievement from within that is there and will be unleashed for all of us to be inspired by!! I also love this pure poetry and depth of words: "I do travel into the future, a vast place, where my short trips to, won't allow me explore completely. A place I long to be. A place where, I become one with or more than my competition lying awake inside."

Yay to you joining World Pulse - keep on sharing your journey, it is a journey that we will be on with you and share.

A hug from Montreal, Canada,
Adriana

OgechiYakno
Jan 24
Jan 24

A warm hug from me to you Adriana. Thank you. It is good to know we are on this journey together.

Nini Mappo
Jan 25
Jan 25

Hello Ogechi,
Welcome to World Pulse. Thank you for sharing your story so creatively with us. Your story reminds me of a course I did of the four basic (emotional) needs every human being has, which if not met, or if met and we don't recognize that they are, can leave us feeling small, or empty, or trying to reach for something we cannot define. It is quite eye-opening in helping to shed light on human aspiration, contentment, apathy towards life... , but the central point is to count our sense of success not from what we have done or things we've acquired, but by the essence of our person. So that if we were stripped of everything, we'd still be successful, because wheat we had or did flowed from us, not into us, if you get my meaning.
With honest questions and honest answers, the journey to self discovery is intricate and beautiful, so have fun! Your sisters are here whenever you invite us into this journey :-)
Love and hugs, with congratulations for all you have achieved so far!

OgechiYakno
Jan 25
Jan 25

Hi Nini,
Thank you for sharing your knowledge of four basic (emotional) needs. Very enlightening I must say. Yes, "the journey to self discovery is intricate and beautiful." You need no invitation because you are automatically in it. Big hugs. Thank you.

Hello, Ogechi,

Welcome to World Pulse! I'm happy that a new voice from Nigeria is rising up!

I love your first post, my sister. Thank you for letting us in your thoughts. That feeling of under-achievement is valid, dear. I can identify with that. There are a lot of pressures from the outside world on what a woman should achieve at a certain point in life. That's why women in general carry the feeling of "not enough". Not only that, comparison kills our joy.

It's great that you have a vision of what you want to be in the future. Let that be a drive for you to do little things daily to achieve those dreams. You've come far already, considering you'll be finishing your PhD soon. You are enough. You do enough. You have enough. I hope you can connect with our World Pulse sisters. We're happy you are here!

Welcome again to our growing sisterhood!

OgechiYakno
Jan 27
Jan 27

Hi Karen,
Big hugs. Thank you so much. I appreciate your uplifting words. I hope to connect with our World Pulse sisters. They are far too kind.