What can be done to stop this 'child Abuse' ?

Olubee
Posted October 22, 2015 from Nigeria

It common for a girl child to be Abuse, cause they are of the opposite sex, but what of the boy child, sexually Abuse by his own father . How can a man stopp so low to sexually Abuse a child that does not even know what sex is about. This man is in indirectly teaching this child to be sexually active at a young age? . What do you think should be done to such a man? What should the mother do to this man, how should the matter be handled within the family. Sexully abusing an innocent child is a crime against that child, how can a man take advantage of a person because he/she is a child and vulnerable. What do we protect a child against all forms of Abuse?

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kaitlinl
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 28, 2015

Hello Olubee,

I agree that it's heart-breaking that sexual abuse is so common in society, and how many survivors are children. I've had many friends talk about their experiences 20+ years later for the first time, and it's affected all areas of their relationships with other people.

As  teachers in an American school, we are given training on how to watch for signs of child abuse in our students because so much happens at home. Our system is far from perfect, and I wish there was a better way to help survivors, especially because it's something very difficult for children to talk about.

Are there any systems in place in Nigeria to protect children and families in these situations? 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I look forward to learning more about your experiences and thoughts.

Warm wishes,

Kaitlin

Jewels5484
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015

Dear Olubee,

This is a very serious question because not only are children abused, but quite often, abusers themselves were abused as children. I think a way to start to break the chain of abuse is opening the conversation, as you are doing. The more we talk about it the more we can erase the stigma and the shame survivors may feel. 

Keep asking questions.

Take care,

~Julie

Tamarack Verrall
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016

Dear Olubee,

I am glad that you have written and asked such important questions about an extensive problem that we are trying to solve in all of our countries. As Julie says, we are finding that often men abusing children have often been abused themselves. We also all live in a culture in which men are being taught that they have a right to do with women and children anything they want to do. So intervention for the sake of the safety of the child is necessary. The problem is, there is still little or no support for the mother to get herself and her children out of the situation, even temporarily. We have been setting up safe groups and safe houses for some time now, to provide a place for women to come to describe what is going on. Groups have been set up for children as well, as they need a safe place to talk, especially if their mother is too afraid to come forward. All this is impossible if there is nowhere to turn. As difficult as it is, the most important step is to make sure that the child is safe from any further abuse. This may mean that the child, and/or the children and mother are provided with a safe place to live. The man needs intervention and help as well. Only when and if he realizes that he must never do this again can they live together safely. Unfortunately this is rare. Violence and sexual abuse are criminal activities. We are still facing police departments everywhere who do not always, or in some places never, take this seriously. We also are still facing there being a lack of support for victims of abuse, and/or intervention work for those doing the attacks. A place to begin would to offer whatever support possible to the woman and child involved, supporting them in whatever ways possible toward life without violence. It is a sad state of affairs that this basic human right is so often not in place. I hope that you can find women in your community who can begin to create a safety net. Please write again with any news of what is taking place in your community. The more we all know, the more we know what needs to be done, and the more we can support each other.

In sisterhood,

Tam