The voice is a terrible thing to waste

Posted September 29, 2020 from Nigeria
My goat looking sheepishly...

When I was a child, whenever we go to the stream to fetch water, everyone's basin would be given to a wife to carry.  I didn't know that one day, I will also become someone's wife.


Wives were treated like second class citizens.  No or little respect. They had no voice. Their voice were always left behind at their father's gate. May be they would always pick their voices back whenever they visit their father's house to discuss their own family issues. 


That's if they are ever allowed to contribute most cases, women are expected to keep shut at their husband's family house...and on getting to her own family house, they will be directed to their husband's family house to share whatever idea they have.....


I cant stop wondering where her stool is placed...her husband's house or her father's house  !!!!. Some tribes are worse off. Chai.

Its still the same today. 


Nothing has changed. And nothing  will change except we rise to change  it.


No difference except it its hypocritical eye- service. 

The girl-child will continue to be a lesser value as long as wives continue to be treated as second class citizens in their husband's family, because today's girls are tomorrow's wives.


In the nearest future, I forsee a generation of women who strive to build their own empires, preferring to be a first class in their own queendoms.


The voice is a terrible thing to lose.  Our voices are the authentic voices of the daughters of Africa.  Our voices matter.. Our voices count.. Our voices liberate.. our voices revolutionise..  Our voices resonate long after we have gone....

If we cannot speak our minds in your house, don't uproot us from our soil.

This picture of my beautiful indomitable, is exactly how many good wives are watching silently like a sheep when important decisions about their lives are made in their husband's houses..

When will the stupid narrative favourwives.  I will continue to speak my truth to power.

Comments 2

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Nini Mappo
Sep 29, 2020
Sep 29, 2020

Dear Olutosin,
What strikes me about this story, besides the powerful imagery of the silent voiceless goat as a wife, is the fact that a wife has no place of her own. Her home is her husband's and not hers, and yet, without hr it's not a home. This sad reality makes your continued advocacy so crucial for bring power to the wife, and recognition and wealth, and a voice to direct the course of her life and that of her family, community and beyond. You are hanging the narrative in her favour, even if it might feel like an uphill battle. May you always have the strength to push against the inequalities and oppression of women by their own families and in their own homes.

Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020

Amen to your prayers my sister.
I am 48 years old, I cant make any decisions in my father's house, and in my mother's family, I have no right... I have been married for 18 years, I have no voice there also...

Is it where I have lived for 18 years that I would fight for a sit? When where I was planted 48 years ago, does not make any difference???

When I think about my life, I shudder at the living of uneducated African wives who have conditioned their way of thinking to the daily realities and culture.
We must change the realities. Our daughters must not continue in chain.