girlfriend go get a life!!

My name is Shola Amupitan (not real names), I am 30 Years, I was married to Femi and together we have 3 beautiful kids. one fine evening Femi returned from work and told me to leave his house for reasons best known to him. "Olowo ori no jowo ma daminu " I pleaded on bended knees with Femi in Yoruba.......He would not listen, I sent Emissaries to plead with my husband for the children's sake.but he turned deaf ears to all my pleas.

There I was on the busy street of Lagos selling recharge cards and cold drinks. What I did wrong became a torment to me, I was a good woman, a respectful house wife, a great mother to my children.

"Shola, you see where your stupidity has landed you ehh" queried my elder sister. She reminded of events thatchanged my life forever.

Ten years ago, I dropped out of secondary school to marry Dr Femi,turning down my elder sister's advice to complete my secondary school education and probably enroll in part time diploma after marriage at least. I felt a woman's life evolves around being married and having children.

fast forward to this day, I see women I mocked for choosing to go to school and probably not getting suitors on time, as icons, I wish I could be like them. maybe if I had listened to my elder sisterwho married years after I was married because she had to go to the University, perhaps Femi would not have pushed me out of the house like he did, and even if our marriage would end, it would have been more honorable and I would have sued him for custody of my children.

I could not sue Femi for custody of the kids because he said they were going school abroad and live with his elder sister."you can't even help the kids with their assignments,I have to always pay a home teacher since I am busy,if only you had agreed to further in your education"Femi flared up one day. This and other reasons sumup why I can't press charges against Femi.

My world crumbled all in one day. Shola aya Doctor Femi, now a street vendor.

It's not been easy on this street, I am 30 Years old now, i have decided to face the challenges, work had and return to school...after all its not too late to find a life, I have learnt to respect educated women, they command respect, they have a voice in their matrimonial homes.

I met one today and I told her to help me put my story on the social media. I am going back to find my own lost voice, back to become that woman who will not be a helpless victim in the midst of her challenges.

written by Bolaji Ajayi

Comments 8

Log in or register to post comments
OmoBolaji Zibah Ayodele
Mar 03, 2018
Mar 03, 2018

A woman's power lies in being Educated, getting the right information and lending her voice...yes we can.

Tamarack Verrall
Mar 03, 2018
Mar 03, 2018

Dear Bolaji,

Thank you for making sure that this woman's story is told. First what a gift to her, as through her courage in speaking to you she will be helping other young women not feel pressured to put marriage before their education, and that it is never too late, either. Thank you secondly, as the more we know, the stronger we can speak out collectively and show that change is happening everywhere.  

In sisterhood,

Tam

Obisakin Busayo
Mar 04, 2018
Mar 04, 2018

Thank you so much Bolaji for raising the voice of Shola. Good for her to go back to school. When she gained back her life, I am sure one day she will get back her children. Sending twinkles to you my Sisters

Love

Busayo

Jill Langhus
Mar 04, 2018
Mar 04, 2018

Hi Bolaji. Welcome to the World Pulse community:-) Thanks for sharing your story!

MagiOriah
Mar 06, 2018
Mar 06, 2018

Thank you Bolaji for telling your story!

Clodine Mbuli Shei
Mar 07, 2018
Mar 07, 2018

Dear Bolaji,
Thank you for speaking out. Life is for the courageous . Sister go ahead and find your lost voice, its not lost at all and its never too late. Someday you too will be celebrated as a heroine.

Ngala Nadege
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018

Hello Shola
Education is very valuable in the life of a woman. In our community , when you are educated, a man sees you as an asset not a liability but its not too late to start over. I encourage you to learn from this and face the future with self confidence. Do not give up on yourself nor your worth. You are much more than you imagine.
Thanks for sharing Bolaji

Troublicious
Feb 04
Feb 04

How can I help you from here in America? Do you need school supplies or books? Let us know