Wanton Life

Omoh Virginie
Posted July 20, 2019 from Cameroon

I never really understood what pain and discrimination felt like until I met it at an inevitable hour. It was October 17 2016 a beautiful Thursday morning that I got to understand what it felt like to be degraded and emotionally downgraded, and all this came in the person of a 29 year old medical student. I was at the beginning quite skeptical about visiting him but being as naive as I was saw nothing wrong in visiting a family friend. 

Everything was going smoothly and beautiful until he decided t take advantage of me and rip me of my innocence, and theme fight begun. I was battered, beaten, my clothes ripped and I was raped and tossed into the streets like a rag doll with no use or importance. In my fear and pains I ran to my motherhttps://www.facebook.com/100010045806265/posts/932252287119623/?app=fbl who took me to the police station to lay a complain and in the word's of the officer I qoute “how can they rape a big woman like this one, you sure say you know enjoy am". My mother in her pain got into am argument with these men leading to us being thrown out of the station. This made me wonder where women/ human rights are kept in my country because I belief every woman deserves the right to fair hearing.

From all that my life has never been the same, I feel dirty, empty and used. Society had shunned me because I am a victim. 

This story was submitted in response to Gender-Based Violence.

Comments 16

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Jill Langhus
Jul 21
Jul 21

Hi Virginie,

Welcome to World Pulse! Thanks so much for sharing your very sad, and troubling post. I'm so sorry this happened to you and that it wasn't handled well by the authorities. What happened to the student after you filed the complaint? Are you saying they dismissed because your mom got upset? Let us know how we can help you to regain your confidence, trust and peace of mind, dear. We are here for you....

Omoh Virginie
Jul 21
Jul 21

Hi Jill
Thank you for the welcome and all. This story is actually just part of it. I'll be honest and say it wasn't easy and all, but I'm getting better and advocating for the rights I was denied.
Yo answer your questions about the student, Nothing happened, I mean absolutely nothing, last I heard of him was from a friend about his graduation from Med schools.
And yes they did send us away, and the human right commission office I later went to complaint too after struggling at the police for long told me the case was time barred and all.

Jill Langhus
Jul 22
Jul 22

Hello dear,

You're very welcome:-) Oh:-( I bet it wasn't. It's great that you are an advocate for rights now.

Oh, that is super annoying. I wish I could help you get justice served for this guy:-(

Oh, wow. That stinks, too. Are there any other legal ways to get justice?

In the meantime, is there anything that we can help you with? Do you need tools for PTSD and/or have you sought counseling, I hope?

Omoh Virginie
Jul 22
Jul 22

Greetings.

Thanks for concern once more, but I don't think getting justice legally in my Country is even a possibility.
I haven't sought counselling yet and I'll definitely be needing the PTSD you talked about.

Jill Langhus
Jul 22
Jul 22

Hello dear:-) You're welcome. I'm happy to see that Marie can tell you legally what to expect and offering you other suggestions as well. Yay!

As far as for PTSD, I would start with Solfeggio recordings to help start releasing/healing some of the trauma: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=solfeggio+for+PTSD. You can also private message me, if you are interested in more tools and suggestions. You don't have to go through this alone.

XX

Beth Lacey
Jul 21
Jul 21

I am sorry you had to experience this

Omoh Virginie
Jul 22
Jul 22

Thank you

Lisbeth
Jul 22
Jul 22

This is so sad an experience to go through. I am so sorry to hear your plight. I hope after the police you also seek the help of the hospital? Pls is it a very recent act? And how old are you then?

I agree that is a general feeling when you go through such truamatic act. Some even it distort their view of marriage in the future. So pls try and seek for more help, to help you retain your confidence.

We all here to support you emotionally, pls let us know if you need such help.
Warm regards

Omoh Virginie
Jul 22
Jul 22

Hello dear.
Thank you for the care and concern.
I don't know what your definition for recent is but it happened in the year 2016 though to me it feels like yesterday. I was 17 when that happened and yes I went for medical check up but that on its own is a whole different story.

Lisbeth
Jul 23
Jul 23

Oh so sorry. It's recent enough, 3 years down the lane. Yes the hospital will take another turn but it's great you visited. I wish you a very speedy recovery. Like I said pls feel free to ask for any emotional help when the need arises.
Have a good Wednesday.

Marie Abanga
Jul 22
Jul 22

Dear Virginie,

I am outraged to read your post because I know too well the system and the pain. I work with young girls like yourself and I am both a lawyer and a psychotherapist. Now, time barred is just a lame excuse because for criminal matters the statutes is 10 years. Secondly, rape is not only against the body but the mind and that's what some don't seem to understand. That is why we survivors have to be strong to fight back be it through social media like I also do. The world has to know that we were #rapedbutnotruined. I spoke up and encourage other victims to do so; if possibly shame the perpetrator on social media too. He can't go so free and is now a medical doctor while you struggle psychosocially . So, if you think I can help you in anyway, send me an email to hope@hope4abusedbattered.com

Omoh Virginie
Jul 22
Jul 22

Thank you. I just sent that message

Jill Langhus
Jul 22
Jul 22

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Marie, for chiming in and helping dear Virginie:-)

XX

Omoh Virginie
Jul 22
Jul 22

I want to thank this community as a whole for their love and concern, after that incident nothing has been normal. I don't know what prompted me to write this story but I'm so glad I did.
Thank you

Jill Langhus
Jul 22
Jul 22

I'm glad you did, too, dear. No one should suffer alone:-(

Hello, Virginie,

How brave you are for speaking your truth!

It breaks my heart that you had gone through such a horrible experience. It angers me to know that you’ve been raped and beaten. It angers me all the more that the authoritirs mock you because of your size. How cruel!

I’m sorry you had to go through this. May you find healing.

You can actually unload all those pains here. There is a healing power of telling our stories. I began to heal when I wrote here.

We’re here to listen. Please keep on writing.

Welcome to World Pulse!