Most of our cultures do not benefit girl children. We are made to understand that it is a mans world.
Every young girl should be made to know here fundamental rights as a person and then as a woman.
One of the women i grew up with as children is in serious trouble now. This childhood friend of mine got married to a potential young man immediately after high school and started raising children immediately while some of us went back to school for college. Of course, early marriage is encouraged in my society and infact it is part of our culture then and especially to a well to do young man and assist your family to train your other siblings especially the ones that do not come from a well-to-do family.
Then, her family was fairly comfortable but the problem was that there was no proper direction / counseling from her family and around her. She got into that marriage to assist her mother raise her remaining siblings when their father married another woman and was no longer forth coming in his obligations towards them.
She has seven(7) children - 5 girls and 2 two boys and amongst the 2 boys one is mentally challenged. The husband left to look for greener pasture when things became too difficult to manage, but never came back as at date. We heard later that he got involved with another woman along the line and they both went abroad. The lastest story from her children who has been able to locate him through social network says he is not doing well and has vowed not to come back a poor man.
Tell me how a woman without a good education / qualification / certificate and any form of skill can cater for seven(7) children. She does menial jobs whenever they are available and lives in a shack with her children. Though recently with the assistance of some old friends, she has moved to a better accommodation. Her siblings in their right have all gotten married now and are facing their different challenges and are assisting as best as they can but its has been very tough for this woman and her children. Friends that we all grew up with are not letting up also, but the difficulty persists. Now she has lost one breast to cancer, her sight is failing. She is about 48 years with enormous huddle to cross.
Her pains in her words - if i knew, i could quit the marriage when i found out that marriage was not all that rosy, i would have gone back to school or i would not have had the number of children that i had. She came from a fairly large family of 8(eight), i don't know why she did not see it coming but then, all that is in the past.
To the greater glory of God, two (2) of her girls have managed to stay afloat - nursing and an undergraduate of a university
I hope that other young women will learn from this story that touches the heart and smell the coffee. this is a clarion call to all of us. shout it to the mountains, spread it everywhere you go. Ignorance of marriage and what it entails, is not advisable. Don't let other people live your life for you. do not go out of your way to assist any one at your detriment.
Please advise our children, sisters, friends, all and sundry to look before they leap. we need to save our society, we need to save ourselves. women will always be at the receiving end if we do not fight back. Have proper counseling before children and plan for the number you can properly provide for.