#IStandWithHer - Solidarity with my sisters world over

otahelp
Posted November 26, 2019 from Nigeria

It was a wonderful evening after work that Thursday night and we were all relaxing at home with some sitcom and all of a sudden there was uproar outside our building. By the time we got there, an elderly woman was holding a boy by his shirt and shouting. When I get to her, she claimed she met the boy having sex with her house help.  When the boy was questioned by the vigilante group manning the estate where we stay, he claimed the girl invited him to their house on the guise that the elderly mama wanted the attention of the boy. And when the girl was questioned to ascertain or corroborate the boy’s claims, the girl denied the story. Seriously we could not agree if it was rape or consensual affair but the only thing we were able to ascertain was that the girl was a minor so agreeing on consensual or not was a serious case. I stand with girls in such web. #IStandWithher with girls who could not be believed because we could not ascertain the real truth of actions around them.

So many girls and women of African origin have been denied of their inheritance both at the death of their husbands and from their fathers side. From their husbands side because they do not have male children or because their male children are still very small at the death of their father. Their fathers siblings on their grounds that they are holding the properties in lieu to when the mail children grow up whereas they do not intend to give up such properties any time in their life time. So the family feud continues for eternity.

Girls and women that endured loveless marriages and union because they believe that marriage is for better, for worse. Girls and Women who remain in such unions because they do not want their children to be brought up in broken homes.

Girls and women who became single / social mothers for believing the lies told to them by men. Girls and women who has to fight with other girls and women for the men they feel they love simply because men refuse to sheat their weapon of mass destruction.

Girls and women who have given so much to their family by way of domestic chores and other forms of caregiving and are not appreciated. Those that gave their youthful years labouring to support their families only to be treated as outcasts because they are not married.

Girls and women who have been disinherited in any form because they are women. They cannot inherit at the death of their husband neither do they have any inheritance from their fathers because according to culture they belong to another family when marriage has been contracted.

Girls and women who have lived with terminal diseases and have survived. Girls and Women who has been disfigured in the course of the illness and still stay strong. Those that have refused to be properly treated because the treatment may change them in one way or the other because they want to remain original for their husbands and men.

Elderly lonely women who have branded witches and evil because they do not have wealthy children or in-laws to take care of them.

Girls and women who have succumbed to power imbalance in order to survive and give support to their families and those who have been tortured and killed because they refused to succumb or give in to power imbalance as a way of survival.

Girls and women who have been in permanent captivity and has been turned to domestic and sex slaves. Girls and women have been captured and raped as botties of war. Girls and women who has been killed for refusing to be taken as botties of war.

Girls and women who has fought so many live wars in different fronts and emerged survivors and conquerors and are now using their experience to build up other women to be conquerors and survivors like them or even better.

Girls and women who has been subjected to so many inhuman treatment and have been denied their rights because they are orphans and poorest of the poor.

Girls and women who suffer untold stress because their husbands are drunk and usually gets back very late in the night. Women with carefree husbands who do not fulfil their responsibilities towards their family.

Girls and Women who are refugees having lost their homes to violent arm conflicts. Girls and Women who are in IDP camps with out access to proper sanitation, water and shelter.

Girls and women who lose their children due to inadequate health facility and those that undergo miscarriages dues to different forms of violence they face every day of their lives

Girls and women who have lost their children to substance and hard drug use. Those have lost their children in arm conflicts. Even those that have lost their children due to poverty

Girls and women who may never see the four walls of a classroom or may never be informed and educated in one form of trade or another. 

Women issues are too numerous to be outlined in this short write up. Keep a date with us on the 16 days activism. #IStandWithHer.

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 27

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Tamarack Verrall
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Otahelp, dear Sister,
Your powerful voice rings out so clearly here, with your heart behind every word, and leaving no stone unturned naming so specifically, truthfully and completely the lives that all too many women and girls are living throughout your continent and worldwide. It is so important to name it all, for the full picture and because you make it so clear that we mean for every single woman and girl to have every one of these human rights so horribly missing.
With love in sisterhood,
Tam

otahelp
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Waooh Tam thank you very much. Your encouragement is so good. i really appreciate it. Lets keep sharing and standing with each other. It makes life so easy when you look back and see the solidarity of other women and girls.

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Hello, Otahelp,

Tam said it so well! I want to say We STAND with YOU! Thank you for adding your voice to this campaign. Keep it up, dear! Thank you for sharing.

otahelp
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

thank you very much Karen. i appreciate it

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

You're welcome, dear. We're proud of you! Have a great day!

Spiritedsoul
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Dear sister the integrity and heartfelt essence in your post rings out the true and clear. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading more from you.
Hugs,
Jess.

otahelp
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

thank you sister. Love conquers only if we calm down and see the good in others. we are here together to continue the campaign

Jill Langhus
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hello Dear Ota,

How are you doing, love? Thanks for sharing your powerful, sad, and overwhelming 16 Days of Activism post! My heart feels so heavy sometimes with the magnitude of what needs to be achieved, but together we'll get there. I'm glad you're part of the solution. Let's do this!!

XX

otahelp
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

thank you Jill for finding time to read my story. surely we are in this together. our collective effort is key. thank you once again

Jill Langhus
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

You're very welcome, dear:-)

Yes!

Hope you have a great week!

Oluwatoyin Olabisi
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Dear Sister,
I feel your story, Women not married, Women who have to stay in abusive relationships, Women branded as witches and the list is endless. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, we women can stand up and be bold to face the Giants in our respective lives while being unstoppable in our ambitions.
Keep up the work
stay strong and please follow me back

otahelp
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

surely Oluwatoyin. it was not easy trying to capture all facets and categories of women and girls and somehow i forgot to mention people living with disabilities but they have a special place in m campaigns. thank you reading

Ekitah
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hi Otahelp!
Courage in what you are doing. Making people understand what the girl child and women are going through its not easy but we have to stand by them for its a great step to move ahead. Thanks for raising your voice. Have a great day!

otahelp
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

thank you Ekitah. i appreciate you taking time to read my story

bridggyella
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hi Otahelp,
Thanks for sharing. Thanks for adding your voice to the campaign. We stand with you and other sisters out there.

otahelp
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

thank you briggyella. i appreciate you. our collective efforts will surely make impact.

Tarke Edith
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hi there
Thank you for being with her
Dear lets do our best to help women out of this trummer

otahelp
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

yes Edith our collective efforts must yield fruit. lets not give up

maeann
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hello Otahelp,

Your story create a loud noise!!! No to violence!!!

I stand with you #IStandWithHer

MUKABA ZAWADI
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Thank you for sharing but everyone has the right to inherit whether he is male or female

otahelp
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

thak you Do gift. i appreciate

chimdirimebere
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hello Ota dear,
What an amazing arrangement of your write-up. In all the facets of society girls and women are treated even worse than some men would treat our local dog (Bingo). I am not losing hope, knowing that our voices put together will one day make a difference and change the situation for us all.

Thanks sis.

Harriet Chimdirimebere

otahelp
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019

Thank you very much Oluwatoyin for taking out time to read my long testimony. together we achieve more

otahelp
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019

Waohhhhooohhhh Jill you are always there each of the step. I appreciate your spirit of volunteerism. Surely Together we achieve more

Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Dec 01, 2019
Dec 01, 2019

HI Otahelp,
Thank you so much for your story. Looking forward to many more of your stories. #Istandwithher

Sinyuy Geraldine
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

Thanks for sharing this sad story.

Doh yvonne
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

HELLO. OTAHEIP
Thank you for sharing your story. Have a great day!