Widowhood as another stage for greater rebuilding.

Owenjolana Pascaline
Posted January 25, 2021 from Cameroon

On the 25th December 1995 my dad died in a car accident and my mum survived.It was only after 3yrs my mum came to know her husband died that day of the accident because she was rushed to the hospital where she spent 3yrs in the hospital for treatment"a painful acceptance and experience".

During my early age as a teenager, I used to pray never to become a widow because of the pains I watched my mother go through.My mum was sent by her parents for early marriage at the age of 15yrs and lost her husband when she was 30years old and left with six children and now a widow for 26yrs,she did not find life easy as a widow.My mum did not have the second thought of getting married again.As soon as her husband died this woman went through the pains from in-laws,we were sent out of our compound by my paternal uncles.At every challenge my mum will always smile.With her little profession as a teacher she sacrificed her last earnings to give education to her children.She engaged into farming, doing petty business just to get little savings to pay our school fees and feed us.What I admired from my mum is her aspect of communication and dialogue with her children, she is open and she has always told us the truth.At every stage my mum tries to seek help from others,the men will always request for sex or marriage.At some point when this woman was trying to process her husbands documents to get government benefits it became more challenging.As her last child,my mum will open up her pains to me with tears.She will tell me what keeps a woman strong is hard work, Discipline,faithfulness and prayers.In her despair as a widow, the only person my mum know is God.She believes prayers can break all mountains.This woman showed me the importance of hard work and determination.Through her hardwork all her children are educated and independent.My mum as widow has never stopped telling me on how valuable is a woman when she has something doing like handwork or been educated.She has always educated me on the value of skills added to your career as a woman.From her experience,I am moved to empower other vulnerable widows,making them not to lost hope because of their status.I am there to use my mums story to tell other widows not to think that only a man can give them the happiness they need, not only a man can you great.Every happiness comes from within.In my community,widows go through lots of challenges like Denial of resources and opportunities by the stronger sex.I need support on how I can rebuild vulnerable widows most especially those in the crisis areas who have lost their husbands due to war.

Comments 14

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Nini Mappo
Jan 25
Jan 25

Hello Owenjolana,
Welcome to World Pulse! This is such a beautiful, powerful ode to your power woman--Your mum. As I read it I realized that you, your life and achievements are a testimony to her love, resilience, innovation, determination, and pushing against cultural inhibitions to raise her family in the face of incredible challenges. I commend her for finding strength in God and praise Him for being there for her.
I realise that you are not a child bride...your mother broke the cultural mold and changed the story for her daughters, what a woman! I celebrate her with you. Thank you for sharing her story. Every story of women's leadership reminds us of grace intertwined with power, and your mum is incredible. Hugs to her :-)

Owenjolana Pascaline

Thanks very much for the encouragement.We continue to remain strong and determine despite the challenges.

Susu Mohamed
Jan 25
Jan 25

Dear owenjolana,
I read your story its painful, and I remembered when my hasbund died and my last baby was 1 month at that time I was youn for early marriage, it was hard time for me but never give up alhamdulilah be strong and continue your live and supporting your family and allso your community.

Owenjolana Pascaline

Thanks very much SuSu.Its a painful experience.My dad died when I was just 3yrs old.We grew up in hardship but I thank God today we all are strong and great.My mum is my source of strength and courage.Her challenges as a widow makes me stronger.

Adanna
Jan 26
Jan 26

Dear Owenjolana,

Welcome to World Pulse sis!.

Thank you for sharing your story and thank God your mum is a great source of strength for you.

Indeed, her experiences have shaped you for the better. It's really challenging for many widows and what many of them go through is sad. However, giving up is not an option.

Keep up the good work and I wish you all the best.

Sending you lots of love,
Adanna

Owenjolana Pascaline

Dear Adanna;
Thanks very much.Despite the challenges we continue to remain strong so as to empower other vulnerable women.Stay blessed.

Hello, Owenjolana,

Welcome to World Pulse! I'm glad that a new voice from Cameroon is rising up.

Wow, what a powerful story your mother has. Hospitalized for three years? Wow! What a strong, courageous, and resilient woman she is. How is she now, dear?

Thank you for sharing her story with us. I love how she is intentional in connecting with you by sharing her vulnerability, and the way you honor and respect her show how well she manage her responsibilities as a mother and a teacher. I love this, dear, "She will tell me what keeps a woman strong is hard work, Discipline,faithfulness and prayers". Amazing how God honors her faithfulness.

I hope you continue to write here, dear. You're a great storyteller. Please tell us about yourself, too!

Welcome again to our growing sisterhood!

Owenjolana Pascaline

Thank you.
In the days ahead you shall come to know the pains that has led to a beautiful smile and joy in my life as a woman.God bless

Beth Lacey
Jan 27
Jan 27

Your mother is an exceptional woman

Owenjolana Pascaline

Dear Lacey indeed she is.I gain strength and courage from her challenges and how she overcomes every pains with prayers and smiles.

Shirin Dalaki
Jan 27
Jan 27

Dear Owenjolana,

Welcome to World Pulse and thank you for sharing your story. It touched my heart and I feel your strenght and authenticity shines through you. I love what you said about your mother, " she is open and she has always told us the truth". This is powerful and beautiful. You have a strong foundation that keeps you going and having faith in God gives you the support to help those in need. I truly admire you and please write more and let us know more about you. Much Love,

Shirin

Owenjolana Pascaline

Greetings Shirin;
Thanks very much.My mum is my source of inspiration.As the days go by you will know more about the pains that led to my beautiful chapter making me the happy woman I am today.Stay blessed

Tamarack Verrall
Jan 30
Jan 30

Hello Owenjolana,
What a story of strength and love you describe of your mother. All she went through, and such generosity of spirit despite all she has been through. These man-made laws, blocking paths even to basic survival. So completely disrespectful of women. Your mother's heart must be so full of happiness at what you, her daughter is doing. So glad you found World Pulse!

Owenjolana Pascaline

Hi Verrall indeed you just said it all.She is just so happy seen me as a humanitarian.Especially in the light of helping women/girls.Thanks very much.