The pains behind the silence of a woman.

Owenjolana Pascaline
Posted January 31, 2021 from Cameroon

Growing as a young girl life has been very challenging.But I sometimes wonder how I overcome these daily challenges.

Some years back, I lived with a family(a married man and wife,children grown up and out) here in Cameroon in one of the largest cities.An uncle of mine who is a priest introduced me to this family,where the agreement was based on; I will manage the company of the Lady concern and I will be paid a stated amount of salary.I accepted and took the man and wife as my parents.

As humble as I am,I was so submissive to this lady and her husband,living happily.As days went by,this lady stopped the house woman and the yard boy from working and she told me I will be doing all the chores before going for work which I accepted with joy.And she officially declared to me I was the new housekeeper.And also,no more on salary but on home benefits.I accepted reason been that we must start from somewhere to grow.And every little experience in life counts a lot.

Staying with them, the father of the house began making advances towards me.When he comes back from work, I will have to serve his food in his room.Whenever I got into his room he was always naked.I will keep his food quietly and walk away.Sometimes he will stop me and say are why are you afraid?You are a beautiful girl,you are more beautiful than my wife,My wife is never at home,she will never understand what's going on.I will give you all that you need in life to grow as a young girl.He gave me promises which I turned down.

I lived in that house for 2years with silent pains in my heart.I had no one to speak to.I was always in tears.Often times his wife will travel out.Staying at home with her husband was not easy for me.Sometimes I will close early from work,just to make sure I rush home and keep his food in his room before he returns while I lock my room door and sleep.At midnights he will knock my room door asking me to open,when I want to refuse he will threaten to send me out.As soon as the is opened,he will sexually assault me.I will fight with him and when I raise my voice loud he will let me be.The next day he will threaten to send me out.

After many attempts to have sex with me and did not succeed,he now told his wife how bad I am.That they should send away from their house.(during that period I had a difficult experience which I cannot say it all.At that moment God was my strength and stronghold)Holding pains in me, all that could come out was tears because I knew even if I tell the truth to his wife she will not believe and I was trying to protect the home.I tried to open up to the uncle who took me there but all he could tell me was be patient and stay strong.To achieve anything great you must have challenges.He said"I know you are more than such trials just remain prayerful and God will see you through one day"I was always in pains.Untill one faithful day I had to open up to my benefactor who is a priest based in Italy, he understood every pains I was going through.From then he worked things out for me to move out of that house quietly without anyone understanding what was happening.

Sincerely,the trauma I experienced for 2years almost killed me silently.There are many women/girls going through similar situations out there and don't have anyone to speak to.Some are forced to accept abnormal conditions just because they need to survive in life.

After going through this,i said to myself I will raise my voice loud for women/girls who are in depression.

It is from there I developed the passion to fight gender based violence and to stop violence against women/girls.

Often times, I think of women/girls who have no one to run to; how do they survive knowing so well that these challenges will always be there.I will never stop raising my voice to support women/girls.We are the weaker sex who suffers a lot in society.May God protect every woman/girl who is in pains or depressions.

Comments 9

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Adriana Leigh G.
Jan 31
Jan 31

Owenjolana,

Thank you for sharing your story and journey and pain, to advocacy for yourself and for all women and girls. This story is so important for us to hear and learn, and grateful for you for being courageous to bring this story out of the dark, so many women are going to benefit from this. I see you, your commitment, your resilience, your inner power and your voice! In your sharing you are joining the group of so many women and girls to now be able to name violence, name their experience and know that it is not ok, and there are a group of women who will support them.

Thank you for this gift.

Hugs from Montreal,
Adriana

Owenjolana Pascaline

Thank you Adriana for every encouragement.I'm grateful.

maeann
Jan 31
Jan 31

Helo Owenjolana,

You have said it right! Thank you for that courage to be the voice of unheard. Know that you are not alone. Together we will stand and raise our voice. I too think of women where they can run for refuge. Such a cruel world we have now. But there is always hope.

Owenjolana Pascaline

Dear Maeann,
Thanks very much for the encouragement.May God continue to be our strength

Beth Lacey
Feb 02
Feb 02

We may be the weaker sex economically, legally, and educationally. But there is no one stronger that a woman when it comes to love, generosity, and care for others

Owenjolana Pascaline

Hello Beth,
Thank you.You just said it all.

Hello, Owenjolana,

I salute you for resisting that man with the best that you can. I salute you for being wise enough to have strategies in that traumatic and terrifying experience. I salute you for crying it all to God who I believe was listening. Those were difficult years, but you survive them. That is how strong you are. During this pandemic, for sure, many girls are in the same situation and even worse, sometimes thinking about it keeps me awake at night and I pray that God protects every woman and girl being in the lockdown with their perpetrators.

This world needs women like you who resist and strategize and ask for divine intervention. Thank you for the bravery in sharing your story. The world is waiting for you to deliver your message and truth. Make it happen, dear. We are here cheering you on!

Owenjolana Pascaline

Hello Karen,
Thanks immensely.We need to speak out, to raise our voices on behalf of other women.
May God who sees all we do in private reward us.Stay blessed.

You're welcome, sis. Amen, dear. Yes, He will for sure. Claim your reward. They are yours and you are worthy of it. Stay blessed, too!