Giving my true Lover.

Got married in December 2015 and since then, a lot has changed about my life. I got pregnant  and things where  harder and all I could do was play along, knowing that the good I do daily will save me from any harm. 

If There is something about me I cant control, it is wanting to be a helping hand wherever I see suffering. 

I have faced several martial challenges until on Saturday the 27 of November 2018. While I was happily receiving my certificate with my fellow RSW facilitator (ready set work) an initiative of the Lagos state government for a job well done (mentoring and coaching final year students of 7 higher institutions, universities, polytechnics and college of education inclusive), I never knew a show of shame awaited me at home.

I arrived home and my supposedly husband instead of celebrating with me locked me out. I slept on the stair case, it became dark and cold with my body all messed up from my monthly period. I banged severally at the door and got no response, at about 3:30am I became very afraid and then in  tears I prayed saying: oh!! God, forgive me, this is just too Much pls get me out of this strongly.

I had the courage to brake into the balcony and with no excitation I rushed into the bath room to wash myself, at that moment I herd my son crying, my heart was envy, I continued to hit the door over and over again but still I got no response. So I took a towel I had washed earlier that day, along with my shoe,bag and gently want back into the toilet. As I sat on the toilet sit with my head on the wall asking myself how I got here. Flashes of good and bad memories got my heart pounding in bitter  tears I said again \",God please help me\".

My phone battery was down I could not call anyone to help, I was testy after so much tears. I wanted a tampon or sanitary pad to hold up my mental flow, I was so uncomfortably and tired. I have had depression for 4 years and I was gradually coming out of it, here comes the devil again, working through a man. 

At about 5:40am in the morning the door opened, I immediately ran in to see my son. He was asleep, I want to the bathroom and I had a proper bath. After his morning devotion he came out with words and I talked back. He threatened to send me back to my parents and I said \" call them I will go\". 

He picked his phone called me father and negotiated my return, my father who was on his way out to see his new grand child was  shocked, he came to me, woke me up from a painful sleep and said pack your things I am taking you back to your parents.

At first I was shocked but the pain and past reflection won't allow me plead so I quickly starred packing up.

He said you can go with your child, you are helping people always maybe they will consider helping you too. At that moment, I held back my tears but I could not hold back for too long. I cried while I packed thinking of my wasted years. My son came in tears holding on to me, I picked him up, gave him biscuits and told him God will take care of us, knowing that I had not even a penny.

He put the few things I could gather into his  car while people stayed watching me as I shamefully carried my son and few bags into the front sit of the car...

As we drove me son asked me in tears \"Nana where to, I looked at him  and said, where ever life leads us\"

As we drove into the Edu community my son kept crying because our car was  chocked up and we where not sited comfortably, I kept taking pictures to make him smile but laughed to encourage him.

We arrived home a community in Ogun state and I was shocked at the exciting young people, Women and children who ran behind our moving car, they thought I had brought them gifts as usual but unfortunately it was my luggage's alone luggage this time.

One of the women I left my small pis of land to farm on said  \"Anti no good news?\" I kept quite, got into  car handed the kids my sons left over biscuits in a brown carton. 

They danced welcoming me, excited I had told them I will be with them for sometime.

My sorrows disappeared into much joy and laughter as more children and women came by. 

He looked at me and said at list now they will see you everyday. Walked in to discuss with my Dad, as he drove off my son cried, but his pride won't allow him look back.

I want back jubilating my return as my women danced, with no idea of what is going on in my head. But my heart was so much in joy at seeing this much love, the thoughts in my head was defeated knowing that some people love me this much.

........... It was no longer a show of shams but rather that of fame. Life has brought me back to Edu, the women, children, men are looking up to me for social change as I have always brought back opportunities. I am penniless and devastated, the bring me gifts from their farm asking when we are starting some like in the past. Giving back brought me this much love, not devalued here, not broken, not coursed only true love and care..   

Help me to keep Giving. Your waste is another woman's wealth, food items, toys, cloths,shoes, kitchen equipment, stationeries, empowerment kit. Help me to show love to this community and more.

I am at peace knowing that my sisters would care. Help me to attract more joy, all I need is love and no one is holding me back this time.

Giving brought me joy and love, it will also bring you same