My Personal Assets Map

Tan Ching
Posted September 24, 2015 from Singapore

My Personal Assets Map

Theories cannot be compared to what you experience personally before. I have been through heavily contested divorce and the problems that came along together with the broken down marriage. I survived mentally to tell my story...numerous times. I will continue to do so, family laws have to be improvised to protect women. My liability can be turned into my asset. I am an example myself. I can encourage fellow women going through the same turmoils like me. Many women are experiencing what I have gone through before. Husbands having affairs, some might have even been through even worse than me. Joining online voluntary groups and women groups like UN Women, World Pulse and AWARE Singapore seemed to be what I should choose during my lowest moment in life. I continue to be part of this movement as advocating for women's rights is a never-ending job, not only for myself but for many other women. I continue to maintain my online presence in social media ( volunteering with Red Elephant Foundation ), particpating in tweet chats in relevant topics with Sayfty, writing in my feedback in forums such as Reach Singapore. In the midst of my challenging matrimonial problems, I did ever join the grassroots for my appeal case, even signing up as PAP ruling party's women wing. There were so many solutions that I thought of but losing myself, my dignity and financially as well as my matrimonial flat were what I experienced. Through my voluntary exposure with women's groups worldwide, I believe there are so much more that needs to be continually done for women's economic and other forms of empowerment which should still be championed. The gender gap is still wide even though we are already in 21st century. I can be a listening ear, I am understanding and champion for us.

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Comments 9

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Mkandeh
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015

Hi PohChing,

Thanks for telling your story. Your voice resonates with many women accross the globe. you are making a huge impacts in their lives by speaking out against unfair divorce deals. Please continue to speak out. You are a massive asset to World Pulse and women of this world. You are a true example of a brave woman. Keep encouraging other women and keep shining. I salute you.

Olubee
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015

Pohching,

Am so sorry what you went through during and after  your divorce,but thank God you came out producing  the best of you.Joining and writing about women issues became a passion for you,that is what we can become if we dont give up on ourselves,staying strong for ourselves and others.Yes ,you were right about the gender gap even in the 21st century,but we wont give up,we will continue the awareness, and teaching our women group we are not inferior in any way,we ae created to be whoever and whatever we want to be.

keep on the good work.

Love

Bukola  

Noriah Ismail
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015

Poh Ching,

We World Pulse members applaud your effort to continue to help others despite the personal challenges and matrimonial problems.

It is great that you have selflessly volunteer to participate in various women's groups worldwide in order to champion women's economic and other forms of empowerment.

We believe by helping others you will also gain your dignity and will power to fight your case and win!

emergentcorp
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015

Sister Poh Ching,

You have been through the fire and speak from an experience that I stand in awe of.  Your sharing shows that seeking the help and support of others in your community and the wider world helped you to become stronger.  Now you are a great example for other women around the world, myself included.

Thank you for sharing. 

With love and appreciation, Abigail

Bukola Olalere
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015

I have realized overtime that our experience shapes us. Am glad that you didn't allow your marriage to hinder you from helping other women fight for their right. I salute you pohching. I believe through what you are doing millions of women will be save from violence. God bless you so much for your kind heart.

Tejaswini Tilak
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015

Hello Poh Ching, 

Your story speaks volumes about the mental strength that helps you to get through difficult times. After reading your story, I feel this is your strongest asset!

So many times, women tend to create an identity related to their circumstances - ex: "I'm a wife" or "I'm a mother". What your story reinforces is the importance of holding on to one's individual identity. That is what stays with us for life. The "Wife", "Mother", "Sister", etc are beautiful branches of a tree, but they should not be overwhelming the tree trunk that is the "Me". 

Thanks for sharing the set of resources and communities that you are participating in. As a co-resident of Singapore, I will look them up too!

Best of luck in your journey.

Regards,

Tejaswini 

Maggie B
Oct 01, 2015
Oct 01, 2015

Dear Pohching,

"My liability can be turned into my asset." I found this line to be very inspiring. You're attitude to use your difficult experience to help other women shows incredible strength and foritude. Women around the world are blessed to hear your voice during their time of struggle. Thank you for speaking out through many forums, including World Pulse.

Maggie B

SanPatagonia
Oct 01, 2015
Oct 01, 2015

Hi Pohching,

As Maggie right before me, I was striken by your line - "My liability can be turned into my asset". At that point I thought: "she knows exactly where she's going". Further more, how strong you have to be to turn your "bad ones" into opportunities not just for yourself, but for everyone around you who may need them. Your Assets Map is impressive and a reflection of your determination. 

Your voice can inspire, your story can show the way to many women, your vision can lead to higher grounds... so, what I could say but thank you for sharing and being part of our community? Keep on going and turning liabilities into everlasting life!

San

vrclark
Oct 02, 2015
Oct 02, 2015

Hello PohChing,  Advocating for women's rights is indeed a never-ending-job, and I can relate to your comment:  I survived mentally to tell my story....numerous times.  I too survived a near 20 year marriage that was dramatic and hurtful. If we're able to survive it and "get out", we can be the "scaffold" (support) to other women finding their way to a healthier place.  What I hear in your sharing is that you do not give up, you're not a quitter, you reach out, you are tireless and commited to being a presence in the world to improve the conditions for women, which in the end will result in a better place for everyone. Never stop, PohChing. Heartfelt thanks!