Two years ago exactly I came to Abu Dhabi, UAE full of excitement, expectations of a new life after I achieve to get a job here where I dreamed for so long. God made everything easy for me, I got hire by a great hotel, they paid for my flight and put me in a very nice accommodation, paying nothing - a dream for me really - and in the way I met this man. This man that as usual at the beginning when you meet somebody that get to your heart, I felt everything was perfect, I thought "Finally I found somebody who really gets me, who love me truly, and is a good man of GOD" he is a Muslim.
So I came to the country and right away I get into a relationship with him, a very intense one, we were planning to get married as soon as possible as per our desires of starting a family life where very present for both. Thing got complicated economically for both, we ended up getting fired after 4 months of being together so we started a rough path in our life.
Along with the changes I was going through by living in a different country by myself and starting a 'marriage', we started to face life with all complications, no money, no place to stay, with stress on our shoulders but mostly on him (because as a Muslim man he felt responsible to provide for both). Anyway, with stress came fights and soon the honeymoon was over, yelling, jealousy, trying to push his culture and believes over me (even though I embrace Islam happily, I was still learning) and since then we never got a stable situation, getting jobs and loosing them, trying to make our relationship stable.
There was good times but to be honest the bad times were heavier. My optimistic helpless-romantic-codependent self kept me going until we got married almost a year ago. This never get better to be honest, even though the pleasant moments, the fights and miss understanding remain. His low tolerance and explosive temper never helped, and I guess I never learned to manage his personality (I am not sure that was my job honestly).
We started to grow apart, even in belonging to the same religion our cultural background didn't allow us to take the religion under the same perspective and for a traditional Muslim believer man that is almost impossible to take. One simple example is the fact that I don't believe that wearing hijab is something that God give us as a mandatory. That was at the time of the revelation for specific reasons but as always man want to turn everything on their convenience. So this is one of many situations on what me and my husband disagree, so I am not free in this relationship to go outside without hijab, my husband cannot take it, is almost like asking for divorce doing this.
So here I am at the edge ending my marriage, with no money to spend in a therapist, with no openness from his side to really action about his anger or to mediate his beliefs for me to be comfortable as well in this relationship, I simply cannot see the way out but to separate. Is scary because I am alone in this country, because I don't have a job and because I don't know how to be here without him. He is a great man with strong values, loyal and caring but at the same time being with him is making me depress and loosing my essence.
If somebody went through the same thing as me, would be lovely to read about it, I need some woman support :)