Renew, release the Woman in YOU

Jane
Posted November 20, 2019 from South Africa

As I was told that a "woman belongs to the kitchen" and that mentality and concept robbed me my own time and stage of being a young woman who loved education and believed that education was the only meal ticket out of the "hell hole" I called home. that gender violation made me choose the shorter route just to get out of that heart breaking sticky situation which was "to get married at a young age" even though that was the 1st love ever tasted but it was the last on my agenda, I believe if I am a man "maybe things would have worked differently BUT being a woman, fragile, defenseless I had to be strong and find a way out, just like any woman, we all make the best of the bad situation because we are the rocks. No man would have been in existence if it wasn't for a woman who carried him for nine month, go though pregnancy, morning sickness, swollen legs then child birth and again carry the burden of making sure that same man is fed and taken care of to be the same man who grew up to abuse and violate the sane woman, how ironic?

During this displacement, women may experience not only sexual exploitation and abuse, but also gendered denial of access to basic services. On return, women face challenges that are conditioned by social roles, and their status as mothers, widows, property owners or survivors of violence. These risks are all compounded by intersecting inequalities and vulnerabilities. At Concern, we believe unequivocally that protecting and empowering women and girls is key to making lasting change. Gender-based violence has many causes but we’ve identified three key factors — and outlined ways we’re working to address them.

Gender stereotypes and are often used to justify violence against women. Cultural norms often dictate that men are aggressive, controlling, and dominant, while women are docile, subservient, and rely on men as providers. These norms can foster a culture of abuse outright, such as early and forced marriage or female genital mutilation, the latter spurred by outdated and harmful notions of female sexuality and virginity. I must say through this journey as women, today, how funny that this same journey of life even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others right here and now so that we may share our love, compassion, observation and hope and again stand together against this gender base violence, this is surely a design of God that I appreciate and cherish and believe we all do as women.

If we can all sing the same song as women as we stand together through our past experience and the lessons learned, we will give/pass it on to our girl child that our past will never define us, destroy us, dent us or defeat us. It has and will only strengthen us. My sisters please remember that sometime the diet we need to be on is an emotional one. We need to be cautious with what we feed our minds especially if you have been through the emotional and abusive situation in your life. What I do, since my past failed to dent me, I fuel myself with positivity and let that fuel propel me into positive action.

Enough is enough, renew, release the powerful woman in YOU, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realise that the situation is over, the hurt, the batter, the rape ordeal, the name calling, the belittlement is over, you cannot move forward. you might have been a victim or weakly allowed to be that victim because we powerless we fragile, just remember, we all make mistakes, have struggles and even regret things which made us to be weak to give in that easily to give in to abuse BUT you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. I know I might have sang this song again and again and repeatedly said the same story BUT I am still saying let go, yesterday is gone. You cant or shouldn't have done something to those who hurt you, you can only DO something Now. Renew yourself. Today is a new day. There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a woman being apologetically herself, comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.

Live your truth, express your love, share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams, walk your talk my sister, dance and sing to your music, embrace your blessings that the past didn't swallow you. Make today worth remembering. Plant the seed of happiness, hope, success and love, it will come back to you in abundance and this is the law of nature. You are not a victim, no matter what you have been through, you are still here, you may have been challenged, betrayed, beaten and discouraged but nothing has defeated you. You are still here, you have been delayed but not denied, you are a victor MBOKODO, It is up to you today to start making healthy choices, not choices that are for your body but healthy thoughts and mind.

LET US SURVIVE FROM BEING VICTIM TO VICTOR. AMANDLA, ALUTA CONTINUA!

 

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 17

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Basudha Modak
Nov 20
Nov 20

Hello Jane .I stay in Johannesburg and would love to meet you as it is essential that we lift each other up on this long road to light ..Your write-up is so enlightening .

Jane
Nov 20
Nov 20

Hello Basudha thank your for your message and yes I would love to meet with you and I would be honoured to meet my fellow world pulse women from South Africa. I'm based in Centurion I can send you all my details including contact number to be in touch and arrange for our meeting. Love always

Wow, a World Pulse Sister Meetup! I'm looking forward to this!

Jane
Nov 21
Nov 21

:) I am so looking forward meeting my sister and to help each other to expand our SA women group and to share same vision. Thank you my sister for the motivation. It means a lot to me.

You're welcome, dear sister. Please write about it as soon as it happens! We love World Pulse meetups and collaborations. Have a great day!

maeann
Nov 20
Nov 20

Hi Jane,

Truly I say Yes... you said it all.

Jane
Nov 20
Nov 20

Thank you kindly my sister. Humbled

maeann
Nov 22
Nov 22

youre welcome

Jill Langhus
Nov 20
Nov 20

Hi Jane,

Thanks for sharing another wise and inspiring post. I love your passionate words. Have you started your school yet? I couldn't tell if you were saying this will be the mission and vision or if it's your intention as such. I hope you're doing well, and having a great week. Keep inspiring and empowering more women.

Let us know, too, if you meet up with Basudha:-)

XX

Jane
Nov 20
Nov 20

Hi Jill :) thanks again, my school is still in progress waiting for the department of education registration number initial starting date is January 2020 but intake planned to start June 2021. Thanks for asking. As for Basudha I'm looking forward meeting another sister from SA. :)

Jill Langhus
Nov 20
Nov 20

Hello dear:-)

You're welcome! Great to hear!

Yay! Looking forward to hearing about it!!

XX

Jane
Nov 20
Nov 20

XXX

Lisbeth
Nov 20
Nov 20

Dear Jane,
Honestly, the above statement made my day.
"Live your truth, express your love, share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams, walk your talk my sister, dance and sing to your music, embrace your blessings that the past didnt swallow you. Make today worth remembering. Plant the seed of happiness, hope, success and love, it will come back to you in abundance and this is the law of nature. You are not a victim, no matter what you have been though, you are still here, you may have been challenged, betrayed, beaten and discouraged but nothing has defeated you. You are still here, you have been delayed but not denied, you are a victor MBOKODO, It is up to you today to start making healthy choices, not choices that are for your body but healthy thoughts and mind."

Thanks for sharing.
Hugs

Jane
Nov 20
Nov 20

Thank you deary :)

Hugs and a kiss

xxx

Hello, sister Jane,

You are such a natural motivator. Your words speak life. I could hear my heart pounding while reading the last paragraph! They are all words to live by.

These words are to be treasured, "If we can all sing the same song as women as we stand together through our past experience and the lessons learned, we will give/pass it on to our girl child that our past will never define us, destroy us, dent us or defeat us. It has and will only strengthen us."

Thank you for blessing us with uplifting words, dear sis Jane! Have a great day!

Jane
Nov 21
Nov 21

Thank you my sister Karen, I wouldn't if it wasn't this great platform and good encourages. Thank you so much .

You're welcome, sister Jane! Stay strong and blessed! Have a great weekend!