While in her mother's womb, she was rejected. She was not wanted because she would be the fourth child and the first girl. She was a twin to a boy. Her mother never wanted any children and now punished with two at the same time. She felt so rejected that when it was time for her mother to give birth to her, she kicked a hole in her bag to push her brother out and refused to come into the world. After her mother gave birth , when she arrived home, she attempted suicide and her mother shot herself in the heart right in front of them. Her aunt found her and she survived. The bullet is still in her chest today.
Afterwards, this baby girl was bounced from home to home living in different relatives homes. Her relatives called her "Momma". She was told because she acted like an old woman trapped in a little kid's body. She was told that she had an old soul. By the age of of six years old, she had been molested several times by parents and other relatives and had become numb to life. At age six also, she was admitted to the hospital after having alcohol withdrawals. That's right she was made into an alcoholic and was given cigarettes or anything else for entertainment of adults. The baby girl would ask for water and they would give her an alcoholic beverage instead. Some memories are so faint, "Momma" believed it was the Lords' way of shielding our minds because it was too much for a child to bear. She would always wonder why she was left and why did her mother and father abandon her. Although her mother did not have her she was pregnant and had two other girls that she kept. One day her mother came and picked her up, but guess what this baby girl could not sleep due to being hooked on alcohol and cigarettes. For days she went through shaking fits, once injured a nerve in her eye that destroyed the only thing that she thought was beautiful to her,her eyes.From then on she would have a permanent droopy, unfocused eye.That was the start for the rest of my "Momma's " life battling with insecurity.
Who that little girl? That little girl "Momma" was Me.. From the moment I came home, I then dealt with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse from my mother and father in ways of being tied to chairs, scolded with hot candle wax, starved, and beat with water hoses for missing one word out of a definition of a page of dictionary words and had to assist in beating the other siblings as well. My first days of school, I remember my teacher Ms. Clark told me that I was smart and beautiful and that I was someone very special on this earth and continued to say nice things to me until fifth grade. The lord put that lady in my life. i held on to those words and continue to pass them on to little girls that I personally mentor now. Fast forward, That baby girl that was rejected was accepted by God and was chosen for a purpose to come on this earth. God chose that little girl to become a Prophetess today and gladly accepted. That little girl is me and I am not ashame of anything that I have been through. His acceptance and love is greater than any other acceptance that a human can give me or you. He allows me to see into other peoples hurting worlds, speak life and hope, pray, and help in many ways. I am able to tell my testimony and help so many little girls. I now have a HELPS ministry where I give to less fortunate and counsel abused and rejected girls. Maybe that little girl is you, the rejected one. You are someone special and just like Ms. Clark told me, I will say to you also. YOU ARE SMART AND BEAUTIFUL....YOU ARE SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL ON THIS EARTH..... YOUR LIFE MATTERS...... YOU ARE NEEDED...YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM BUT A VICTOR......LASTLY, Pain is only temporary!!!