A proud woman

Rakhshinda Shakir
Posted March 2, 2017 from Pakistan

Few years back when I was a little girl, I always wished to be born as boy just to enjoy the freedom they do, to be accepted as the valuable asset of a society no matter how cheap act I committed either willingly or reluctant, at least to laugh out my heart loudly when I wanted to (for a woman in my society laughing out loud is considered as very bad thing) and I have such a horrible lovely laugh.

Probably this indifferent behavior towards girls made me act like a tom boy until I got enough mature I changed myself. Life completely changed when I grew older because the group of boys I always am with grew much older and by now they never wanted me be with them because it was matter of shame for them to be with a girl. They considered me as an ugly part of their society for I was completely opposite of what a typical girl of my society supposed to be like. Girls would never go swimming with me, they would stick badly with their (dupatta ) and always scold me for laughing out loudly on our way back home from school. Feeling proud to be different among all the same minded girls of my own age, I would never mind their scolding’s. There came many times when people argued with me deviating from their cultural norms of being considered a good girl, they would tell me I was upsetting their norms of a good girl they defined and they wonder if looking at me other girls may not try to be like me. I never hide to say what I felt like saying. I would always question back if to laugh when you are happy is not considered being a good girl than I am fine with being a bad girl or if questioning things that clicks my mind or if speaking out what is in my heart is a sin that upset your norms than please do not mind considering me a different creature who does not belong to you. My wings are stretched to fly and such stupid norms which are applicable only for girls can never imprison me in a cage where I act in your command. The different mindset from very young age made my parents and teachers treat me differently and that I am so satisfied and proud to be myself. Today when I look back I feel no regret rather a sense of accomplishment and dedication is seen. I am a change agent of my own life and of course other students of my valley and school. I was the first one from my school to be selected as cultural ambassador to USA when I was in grade 9thand till now more and more girls get selected for the same program that I took initiative of. I am the first one to come to AUW and hoping to make as many as girl pursue this opportunity of changing their lives. It is more like I enjoy carving paths of hindrance to the coming generation leaving back a positive sense of trying new things can lead us to happiness and there is nothing wrong to be a dare devil, trying to deviate from the long existing trend.

Cover your body, don’t laugh loudly, keep quiet, wear your scarf, these were the most hated word I could hardly bear listening to. Male dominant society failed to teach me shame. I am very proud to be born as a woman and if were given hundreds and thousands more chances to born I would always love to be born as a woman. Life is what you make it and I choose to enjoy and live each second with full zeal of enthusiasm and great honor where I feel like it is my duty to shape paths of success to all those beautiful souls who are determined to make a difference in their lives.

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Jill Langhus
Mar 03, 2017
Mar 03, 2017

Hi Rakhshinda. Thanks for sharing your story. I love your determination and that you are a great role model for women in your community and country. Keep it up:-)