WiseUp ( Pevuka) episode 3

rehema lyoka
Posted April 16, 2018 from Tanzania
Pregnancy
High school pregnancy is not the end of the world

Welcome to WiseUp{PEVUKA}

One of my interest in life is to encourage students to stay in school , to love education and encourage self confidence , hence I will use this opportunity given by  World Pulse to help change the mind set of those students who read the articles published on this website . All articles posted on my account will have the name WiseUp ( PEVUKA) and under that topic we will discuss the different reasons why some students drop out from school and venture into other things. The Major Aim of the topics that will be posted in WiseUp (PEVUKA) , is to change the way of thinking of the young minds of today by letting them know that destiny is not a matter of chance but it’s a matter of choice and it’s not a thing to be waited for but rather a thing to be achieved, in other words kids these days needs to know that success does not come over night but rather it’s a journey that only the tough ones will achieve , therefore the topics that will be discussed in my account will target the following people : Parents , Teachers , The community and the students themselves , reason being is that students , teachers and parents both need to work hand in hand in order for the student to succeed in achieving their goal. 

 

Welcome TO WiseUp ( PEVUKA)  once again ,today topic is  :

                                                                             PREGNANCY !!!

Today in WiseUp (pevuka) we are going to look at how pregnancy affects a child’s future and career in general , will not be bias hence we will look at how a child will be affected with such a situation in addition to that we will also look at how such information affects the parent minds set together with how the community will be affected, putting the effects aside will also try and find ways on how such situation can be re-solved without the child being in any medical danger ,will also look at how a child can get help financially ,how to solve the problem without being in  Conflict with any laws together with how that child  can be prepare psychologically ,taking into consideration  religious beliefs.  

Receiving the news – student 

I want you to be imaginative for a moment and try and take yourself, take your mind to a situation where by you are 17 years old, you’re in grade 10 (form 4) and you think that you may be pregnant, for example because you have missed a period, than you decided to do  a pregnancy test, picture yourself holding that pregnancy test, and it reads positive, take a second and take yourself to that moment, the confusion in your head, the shock that goes to your brain, which causes your heartbeat to beat at an abnormal rate, try and put your self in the situation for a moment.  This can be a shock, or for some a lovely surprise. It is also very usual to feel freaked out, confused and even worried when facing an unplanned pregnancy.  Some might have mixed or conflicting feelings but this is usual to the ones who  have planned for it, but if you are a student, still at school our assumption is that you will be : 

• Worried about whether you will be able to cope with the baby 

• Afraid that you will have to give up other things that are important to you 

• concerned about how people will react; now this is where the community comes in. 

It’s vital to consider all your reactions to pregnancy. You should not feel guilty about negative thoughts running in your head , this should be the perfect moment for you to remember the serenity prayer, if you have forgotten it, it goes like this: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Be prepared for the following: 

⦁    Your first word that might come out is “WOW” now that wow can be a good wow , am pregnant, but since you are a student we are assuming it’s a wow , what am I going to do?. 

⦁    Your second thought might be, I don’t want anyone to know that I’ve had sex

⦁    Your third thought might be, both my boyfriend and I want this, but now isn’t a good time, I would like to finish University school first. 

⦁    Your fourth thought might be, becoming a parent will change my life forever. I’m only 17 and I don’t feel ready for this.

⦁    Your fifth might be, I really want to keep this child, but I’m not sure how I will manage, it really depends whether my parents can help out.

⦁    Another thought might be I wasn’t expecting this but I’m ready to adjust. I would really like to have children and I guess school can be put on hold.

Making a Choice

  Now, some students try to ignore the pregnancy and hope that it will just go away, but my baby it won’t. It is very important to start thinking about your choices as soon as possible which will give you time to consider your options. If you have mixed feelings about being pregnant and about each of the choices open to you, making a decision can be very difficult, the key is to take time to explore your choices and be honest with yourself, you may find that whatever decision you make won’t feel like the ‘perfect’ plan , but I want you to believe that this Is a test given to you by the greater power just to make you strong , believe that it is not the end of the world and that this situation is there to make you stronger , so close your eyes and listen to what heart tells you , Some of you might want their friends, partner  or family to tell you what to do, and this can certainly seem easier than making a decision. However, it’s important that you decide what action to take not for anybody because this is your life, your future and you’re the driver, whatever decision you make, you will have to suffer the consequences. 

 If you decide to terminate the pregnancy it is simpler when you think about it, but think about your religious belief, what does it say, think about your safety , what are the advantages, what are the disadvantages of abortion, medically speaking, and depending on where you are In the world think about what the law says about abortion. If you decide to continue the pregnancy, you also have to get medical help it’s important to start receiving ante-natal support from an early stage. You have to think about the financial assistance you can get, how the law protects you in such a situation, what rights do you have from the baby daddy, how you should prepare yourself psychologically because you are going to need to someone to talk to, it can be a family member or a stranger, but prepare  yourself as most of your family members will probably be upset and won’t be there as you would expect them to be.    

Telling others

Pregnancy is a very private matter but It is up to you to decide on how, when, who and if you will tell people about your pregnancy. An unplanned pregnancy will bring different reactions and not everyone will be supportive. However, remember that this is your life, and your decision.  Some people may not know how to react to the news, as they will be unsure of how you feel about the pregnancy. If you are experiencing rejection from some close friends, ask yourself if they were really your true friends. If your family is reacting badly, they may be experiencing a whole range of emotions including shock and  disappointment. Give them time , they might come around but if not , it’s not the end of the world , be strong for yourself , your future , your baby , remember this is all about you. 

 

Will continue with this topic on the Next Article , will look at the options available , parents reaction in details , community , religious views, medical and legal . 

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Comments 4

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Tamarack Verrall
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018

Dear Rehema,

This is so important, to outline for young women all of the thoughts and feelings that are possible and normal when discovering a pregnancy. I hope for all of the girls who are able to take part in such an open discussion, that their road will be smoother and that their choices will be honoured and supported. Your message, that this is all about her, is so wise and caring.

Bim Adegbite
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018

I love the way you are looking at the issue from the perspective of an overwhelmed teenager. It helps sort through the very thoughts that occur during this period. It also gives such reassurance and encouragement. Thanks for sharing!

Adeola Samuel
May 15, 2018
May 15, 2018

Rehema, i could totally relate to this story, I'm more emotional about this very topic because the same mistake keeps repeating itself. I have few people in that state; the emotional trauma, the fear, disappointment, setbacks and all related issues with teenage pregnancy.

My prayer is that;
the young ones will find your post and are open to advise.
they will find strength and grace to carry on and not think its the end of their lives.

There is light after the tunnel(deep and dark) experience.

This is so personal to me as i have a teenage girl right now who don't have idea of what tomorrow holds, she dropped out in junior secondary school, the boy that impregnated her denied having intimacy with her, she gave birth to a challenged baby boy who is almost 2years now. I came across her in the hospital and showed interest in her..... She needs so much help, her parent are doing menial jobs that feeding is a problem at times.

You have a great Ministry, keep at it sis. The Lord reward you richly and send you adequate resources my darling sister.

I care.

rehema lyoka
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018

Dear Adeola

am sorry for the late respond , my dear am very touched to read your review . and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR IT . Thank you for sharing the story of that young girl , i just hope this article gets to her and it helps her to make the right decision about her future