WiseUp ( Pevuka) episode 5

rehema lyoka
Posted April 27, 2018 from Tanzania

Welcome to WiseUp{PEVUKA}

One of my interest in life is to encourage students to stay in school , to love education and encourage self confidence , hence I will use this opportunity given by  World Pulse to help change the mind set of those students who read the articles published on this website . All articles posted on my account will have the name WiseUp ( PEVUKA) and under that topic we will discuss the different reasons why some students drop out from school and venture into other things. The Major Aim of the topics that will be posted in WiseUp (PEVUKA) , is to change the way of thinking of the young minds of today by letting them know that destiny is not a matter of chance but it’s a matter of choice and it’s not a thing to be waited for but rather a thing to be achieved, in other words kids these days needs to know that success does not come over night but rather it’s a journey that only the tough ones will achieve , therefore the topics that will be discussed in my account will target the following people : Parents , Teachers , The community and the students themselves , reason being is that students , teachers and parents both need to work hand in hand in order for the student to succeed in achieving their goal. 

 

Welcome TO WiseUp ( PEVUKA)  once again ,today topic is  :

                                                                                         The Community Effect On Teenagers 

Today in WiseUp Pevuka I would like to discuss the impact that the community has on the lives of teenagares and how their actions can change or affect a life of another person .Its fundamental to understand that the world is made up of different communities , so whatever you do , no matter how small you may think it is, ends up affecting a wide range of people . So when we are discussing the issues that leads a child to drop out from school , the community does have a part in this and should be looked at an extra eye . 

Who Makes Up The Community 

Remember a Community is a group of people staying , working or living together . The most important thing that we have to understand as humans is that we ourselves makes up the community , we are the community our selves , but most people tend to forget that part , but you reading this article is part of a community , the person seating next to you is part of the community , the person you texting is part of the community , each and every living thing is part of the community hence whatever you do affects the community directly or indirectly .  Bear in Mind that a community starts with your family , friends , colleges ,neighbors, each and everyone you encounter with makes up the community and Its important to know that if we work together as one ,than different problems will be resolved much easier , and remember a child's future is brightened by the foundation that the child has, and the community is responsible for giving that foundation . 

What Problems are In The Community That Can Affect A Child's Future 

If we seat down and  think about the problems that the world faces today , especially problems faced by  teenagers , such as  peer pressure , bullying,teenage pregnancy , suicide , you will come to a conclusion that these problems all have a common thing .  

If we take a step back and look at the above  mentioned problems you will come to figure out that the common thing that all these problems have is that Us human beings which makes up the community  do not appreciate and accept each others value and morals  ,I understand that  each and everyone has different values and morals and that is OK , In WiseUp (Pevuka ) episode 2  I  did say that each and everyone  is different and we should embrace our uniqueness , but what is not OK is for Us human beings judging each other ,and thinking that our way of thinking is what is right and the other person is wrong , in other words we human beings lack acceptance , and that is the major problem that is giving rise to these other problems .

SCENARIO 

If we take a scenario where a Young boy named Johnny  is raised by both parents and the father is very abusive , and Johnny  does not have a voice at home , and the mother hardly have time to focus or give attention to the child because she is busy dealing with her abusive husband and trying to bring food to the table as her husband hardly has  time to support the family , now Johnny is not performing so well at school , and his teacher hardly make time for him because he performers low in class , so Johnny starts bullying a young girl named Mary at school who is performing very well in class , just to get some attention . The bullying got to a level that Mary could not handle any more and decided to take some pills and kill her self  , and when this incident happened  Johnny got suspended from school and his parents did not even know because he leaves home like always and since his parents never have time to go to school , they did not know , until Johnny made some friends in the street and they went to steal from a shop and got caught and now his In jail ,when this happened his parents became heart broken , his father was so mad and ashamed because everyone in the village was saying they knew the boy was a trouble boy , and was not raised well , and the parents are useless and they do not know how to raise a child  and that they have failed the child . 

Analyzing the Scenario

               From this scenario some people from the community will analyse Johns Situation like this :

Parents 

Johns parents are partially to blamed for Johns  behavior , because John growing up in an environment where the father is beating the mother is not a good foundation for the child , so the father is at fault firstly for beating his wife and secondly for even doing it in front of the kids , as the father beating the mother in front of the child  is indirectly telling the child  its OK to harm other people , the mother on the other hand  is to be blamed , even though she was facing some challenges in her marriage ,as a mother she was suppose to be there for kids and talk to them , and  staying in a marriage where her children is seeing her being beaten is not a wise idea for her , she should have reported the issue . 

Now these are some of the things that people in the community might come up with . 

Its always easy to blame and judge each other , but there is a saying that says do not judge someone unless you are in their shoes , Johns father might have grown up in an abusive family ,hence resulting to such behavior , Johns mother might have wanted to report the situation so many times but did not not because she felt powerless , not educated enough to know what her rights are , where to go and what to do .

 The question is that, you that is blaming your neighbors for being bad parents, did you for  once try  to help the situation before the damage took place , did  you try to report the issue to the authority when you saw the wife being beaten , did you give her food when she was trying to find food for her kids , or did you try to give her hope , did you try to speak to Johns father and try and understand why he is beating his wife and advice him to stop , did you for once try to speak to John and give him hope , give him attention that is missing from his home . Before you decide judging someone else on whatever they might have done , ask your self  did you try to help prevent the situation before it happened

 

Teachers 

The teachers as well might blame the parents on why they never made time to come to school meetings and allowed their kid to bully others at school and blame the parents  for not raising their child well . Mary's parents might   blamed the teacher as well , why did they let John Bully Marry , until it reached the stage where Mary wanted to kill her self , some might even judge and blame  the school why they allow such students in the school . 

Again playing the blaming game and judging one another is always easy but look at it in this way , when a child is at home the parents become the God of that child , parents are suppose to take care of that child , but once the child leaves the house , on the way to the school , on the street , that child becomes the responsibility of the people in the community , and yes , you are part of the community so you become the God of that child , and once again when the Child goes to school the teachers becomes the God of that child , you are responsible for not only teaching but showing love and giving attention to that child all of them . 

 

Hence before you blame Johns parents , and judge John what did you do to help John and the parents , did you go to Johns parents to tell him that I have been seeing John not going to school , is everything OK , because maybe Johns parents do not know what John is up to , be careful on the way you bring the topic because you do not want to look as if you are judging .

On the other hand you as the teacher did you ever try to speak to John to find out why he is bullying others , did you give him attention ,maybe if you gave him attention that he did not get at home , than he was not going to feel the need of bullying others . So before you as a teacher judge the parents of a students for a child's behavior ,ask your self what did you do to help that child , before you start pointing out the things the parents could have done , ask your self what could have I done to help the situation . 

Same applies to you in the community before you point fingers to the teachers and  the parents its always best to ask your self what could I have done to help the situation . 

Community " Neighbour " 

 Once Again as the community we have a role that we play in the lives of others . Assuming in the scenario that  Johns neighbors are Mary's family , and Mary's mother is a layers , and she kept on seeing how Johns mother was being treated but did nothing because she kept on telling her self , she is not my client and did not ask for my help and its not affecting me , I will just tell my child to stay away from that family , but now look at it this way ,  if she helped the situation , Johns father was going to stop beating his wife , and John was not going to be abusive to other kids at school including Mary , and could have prevented the whole situation . This shows that we as a community are connected in one way or another , you might ignore something today that is affecting someone else but later that same issues might come and affect you directly .

 

     On the next episode we will look at how the Community way of thinking and judgmental-ism affects a teenagers decision during teenage pregnancy . Blog  

Comments 8

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Jill Langhus
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

Hi Rehema. Thanks for sharing your post on the importance of community, responsibility and judgment. I like how you presented the potential situation but then different ways of looking at it, as well as a different, and more healthy solution to this particular scenario.

rehema lyoka
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

Dear Jlanghus

Thank you so very much for the support and am glad that you find it helpful .

Jill Langhus
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

You're very welcome:) Have a great day!

rehema lyoka
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

you too my dear , stay blessed

Jill Langhus
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

Thank you:)

Tamarack Verrall
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

Dear Rehema,

I love what you are doing with these blogs, and once again you have a beautifully direct way of approaching enormous and personal problems, with such wisdom and compassion. The photo is wonderful too. I hope your words reach far and wide.

Olutosin
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018

This is interesting. Thanks for sharing. I always tell my people that we parents are the parents of every child. We must do our best to train every child that crosses our path. This is because we do not know tomorrow. The neighbor child of today may become your son in law tomorrow.

Last week, my daughter Divine came home sick.....from school. She was slapped three times by a boy in her class just because someone hit her with a stone and she dare asked who did that????

I was furious because she did not retaliate at all, citing my training on Non Violence Communication that I always teach.

I picked my phone and called their school guidance immediately. Divine was afraid, because she had been bullied to silence.

Thanks to God that the guidance took immediate action, I was already ready to trash it out. I will train as many kids as I meet every day. I will not wait to regret every teaching opportunity that crosses my path.

There is an adage in my tribe that says, a child is brought into the world by a woman but a thousand people shapes the child to thrive in this world.

Sister Zeph
May 01, 2018
May 01, 2018

Dear Rehama thank you for taking such a amazing initiative to bring awareness among community for their responsibilities. keep writing and keep growing