The Path that Led to the Essence of my Being

I wrote this personal journey right before my fortieth year – that was in November 2019. Before that I took a sabbatical for about fifteen months to gather all the learning and experiences, I had in my twenties and thirties, with the intent to redesign the next decade, so that my journey continues to be filled with purpose, balance, wonder, joy, and faith.

To a great extent, I believe in destiny and that my soul has a blueprint and a purpose that needs to be fulfilled in this lifetime before it takes up a new life. One life’s karma creates the foundation on which the next one is built. So, at times, life takes us to places where we have never been and experiences, we thought why those should happen to us. I know, now, there are deeper reasons for everything.

I took this sabbatical and went into immersive, introspective and reflective exercises along with regular meditations. Through these practices, I unveiled many of the unconscious and subconscious wounds, which needed to be healed; I recreated and revisited, many past events of my life which I needed to reconcile, and I also gave me permission to forgive myself and others so that we could continue on our respective paths. These exercises were not easy because I had to work through an immense amount of disruptive emotions; I had to give meaning to those raw emotions and after sufficient cleansing, I refilled the space within, once again, with peace, inner guidance, and radiance. As I worked with me on me, there were a number of trends, repetitive thought patterns that slowly got emerged. In this personal journey, I wrote about those revealed patterns and how all these defined my new me.

My spiritual upbringing at home: I was born and raised in a very liberal and open-minded family– the kind of liberation that comes as a result of radical spirituality. I was never taught to compete but to be curious to explore this vast Universe. Money, status, possessions were not subjects we talked about much at home, but I was raised with utmost material comfort and have fond childhood memories. From a very tender age, I got exposed to various subjects because of my grandfather, who was a polymath and a man of great wisdom and learning.

My liberal arts education: My liberal arts education in the US was a strong foundation which eventually led me to deeply appreciate the approach of systems thinking – how each component is a whole and is an integral part of the bigger oneness. Later, this gave expression to creativity, innovation, quantum thinking, contextual intelligence and finally my entrepreneurial mindset. My unique approach to look at each situation from multi-disciplinary perspectives is also the result of my liberal arts education. 

Life experiences in the twenties and thirties – I spent my twenties to explore the world and in my thirties, I made sense of those experiences. My life in various cities including NY, Georgia, St. Louis, Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Kolkata, experiences post 9/11 and 2008 financial meltdown, meeting people from 125+ different countries, my travels in India and different parts of the world – all these actually made me why I am, the way I am. As a result, I appreciate diversity and love all shades of life. And I chose the freedom to be my true self.

I also realized that the poverty of mind (caused by jealousy, envy, ego, etc.) is even more painful than poverty that is experienced from lack of material possessions – this is what I concluded when I observed how a family with modest means had more to share than one who lived in a big mansion and may have forgotten what is soulful. So, I questioned myself which one is the true measure – the external net worth or the internal wealth we have?

My exploration of paths of spirituality, philosophy, and theosophy– My exploration in spiritual paths can be regressed back to my upbringing at home. The next was attending a conservative Christian college where I studied both Old and New Testaments; then it was spending time in Buddhist village and forest temples in Thailand, then it was learning Yoga and meditations in a ashram in Upstate New York and finally reading both Eastern and Western philosophies. In the last decade, I was influenced by Jiddu Krishnamurti’s work and had spent time visiting the various Study Centers for quiet contemplation and deep reflections. What I realized is I was always drawn to this path of life – somewhere in me, I was always looking for something deeper, more meaningful and I was always seeking something which is immortal.

Finding the existence of the immortal soul was the answer, I was seeking all this time.

Identify crisis – My school in Kolkata was quite cosmopolitan, so my classmates came from different parts of India. I went to college and university in the U.S., where my friends came from different parts of the world. I lived and spent time with my American host families. I adopted the western lifestyle in many ways. Then, when I returned back to India, after eleven years, I had to unlearn, relearn to adapt to a whole new way of life which, at times, became quite difficult for me. Now, that I am back in Kolkata, I am, again, learning to adapt myself to a new environment. The only thing that was constant in my life was change. In this process, oftentimes, I experienced an identity crisis because I was not fully Bengali, not fully Indian, not fully American – my identity was a mix of all these and more. For the longest time, I struggled to find a place where I can fit in with this intermingling identity. After years, I came to terms with it.

My realization is I need not be defined by the external qualities rather my existential identity is the result of all.

Inner conflicts to reconcile corporate and spiritual lives – The final struggle was my deep, at times, devastating crisis, I felt to reconcile my deep intent to live a spiritual life with the demands of purely numbers-driven corporate cultures. I do not say that this is an issue with a particular organization. Perhaps, there are many people out there who are also struggling with this. I believe it is a global issue now and it needs a global shift that organizations need to serve society, planet, and people and at the same time make a profit. The past decade gave unprecedented importance on quantity over quality; values and principles took a back seat; organizational values and principles became more lip service than living experiences; competition driven by greed, selfishness became the normal way of life. Besides, what I realized is most of my time was taken up by work and deadlines; spending time with family, friends and nurturing my hobbies became secondary. My health suffered from time to time. So, I asked myself can I continue with this lifestyle for the next two decades. I pondered how can I grow on a spiritual path which requires me to nurture inter-dependency, wisdom, and values when I see around me is mostly selfishness, competition, silos, and fragmentation?

My quest to ascend in spiritual life left me with more conflicts. So, at last, I had to take a hard call - I had to choose between my mind's desire and my soul's need. And I walked towards my calling – my intrinsic, soulful drive. That's how I realigned my life to my core being so that I can live my truth.

My work at Quantum Holistic Advisory Services is based on Quantum paradigm. I like to call myself a documentary management consultant. Just like a documentary filmmaker creates reality-based art movies to bring awareness of certain dimensions of life, my work is also reality-based, multi-disciplinary research-based, purpose-driven, for-profit management consultancy.

My work is an extension of who I am. My life journey is itself the greatest testimony in what I believe in – it is in congruence with my beliefs and deepest needs of my heart and soul. I bring my whole self to work, build win-win relationships with like-minded stakeholders. At the same time, I care for our planet, society and those I serve. While I do all these, I share my time with the most important people in my life - my family and friends - because they are the ones who love and accept all of me, unconditionally, regardless of what I have and who I become.

Rajyeshwari Ghosh is the Founder at Quantum Holistic Advisory Services. It is a Quantum paradigm-based multidisciplinary leadership and management consultancy practice. She is a Certified Blockchain Practitioner and a Member of Lorange Network. A former Wall Street and Big Four professional, she is a Trusted Advisor and a Management Consultant. She advocates holistic thinking, practices an interdisciplinary approach to organizational problem solving, and believes in the meaningful use of technology for good of humanity. She studied and worked in the U.S. and currently lives in Kolkata, India.

She is always looking for inspirational stories and amazing human beings. They show her to believe in living the good life with noble purpose, beautiful heart and divine soul. Kindly reach out to her if you are one of those who are making an effort to care for the planet, people, community and collective economic prosperity.

Please note: This story was originally published on LinkedIn on August 2, 2019.