forgiveness of self

How can I lay down with the enemy & then rise up & wonder why I feel less than ? when we lay down with someone we make ourselves one. My heart, spirit & conscious needs a healing. Do we really understand the importance of cleansing our Womb before we bring children in this world? A pastor said some words... he said "a child feels rejection through the Womb". I sat back & pondered on those words & it never left me. It's one of those moments & words that add a piece to the puzzle. It explains why at such a early age I was acting out my OWN MOTHERS TRAUMA. Acting out things that happen before me. Generational curses are real. I slept around so many times, I hid behind weed smoke, alcohol, stripping. I was hiding from reality. Now after giving myself to God after fasting so many times, leaving everything behind to the fact of me being homeless just for my sanity sake... silly of me after reaching 7 months of no contact with the dysfunction of the deceitful lies my whole entire family put on me... I returned... I lost all the weight i gained, I started sleeping around again, I laid down with very Jealous men...Men who wanted to break my spirit... but that's what i was soooo use to. I was use to this. Now I picked myself up by the Grace of God & now he's calling me to share my story. I'm still hurting and i feel soooo lost. When you use something so precious on people & things that's undeserving of you how do you expect to feel? I used my powerful voice & Loving heart on people who would do whatever to break me. How can you love on someone who hates your being? That's like loving on the Devil. I want to start helping heal people & because I'm called to be a healer it'll help me heal to heal others. To Whomever reading this thank you for taking the time to read. Please never ignore your God given gifts ,you are so beautiful & what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. You have so much power Queen! If you are a Mother go hug on your child/ren & let them know you love them! You are so powerful that you bought another life in this world.. Use your powers to uplift your children. Heal. Mistakes are needed so that you can learn. Never be embarrased there's someone out here who needs you & what you can bring! God Bless Queens. IT IS TIME FOR A HEALING.

                                                                                                                                                       Queen Arose