The Woman who made the difference in my life

rosemary_ntoipo
Posted March 7, 2019 from Tanzania

While many thought she was a weak being, to those lives she has touched positively like me, feel she stood out and still does stand out strong among many women. How I wish many women meet her, emulate her strong will and drive in order to make a difference in their lives and those of other girls and women. This is my mother my friend. She was in her late thirties and between her and her husband (our father) life was not as easy.

It all started with my father loosing his job. It was devastating it felt like life had come to a stand still. Things became unbearable a life that reflected my struggles in raising school fees for my high school.

I remember this day she gave me some money to do shopping for my school needs. I attended a boarding school. I could see how hard it was for her to spread out her monthly earnings to cater for all the family needs. As I traveled back to school I remembered the looks on my mothers eyes which to me was an expression of her wishing I could see her struggles and give back to her in terms of performance. I knew this look on her face for she had told me that before . this time she did not talk but handed me the money without saying much. "Have this it is what I can afford to give you for now".

When I started working I realized that some women were going through similar difficult situations.  Selina (not her real name ) was going through a very hard time. Her husband lost his job and had started drinking and engaging himself in a lot of alcohol drinking. This he said was due to frustrations.

She had nothing to give her family. Things had started getting worse. Her sisters advised her to move out and find someone wealthy to cater for her needs. She had never been unfaithful. There was no food for her family. She thought of the man who had previously made advances on her and decided to look for him for help. She eventually, found him and she explained to him that she was in dire need of money. "I will give you, on condition that you meet my needs".

Selina, thought about her husband and their children. No, I have never done this before. She stared at the man and asked him , What if I were your daughter and you my father, What would you have done?' The man responded, there is nothing wrong in that for as long as I can help you. With those words Selina decided to leave. Fortunately, she had agreed to meet him at an open ground.

On her way back home she thought of her husband and their children. No, I will not go back home empty handed. She thought of her many women friends whom she had helped many times. She decided to approach one of them. Selina, narrated her story to her friend who eventually organized advanced her some money and later introduced her to a Women Economic Empowerment group where she got a loan to start her own business.

Her life changed and improved a lot. The husband got himself another job and their life became better every day. They repaid the loan, bought a family house and they no longer worried about school needs for their children.

In life things can change. Situations can be terrible. It depends on our own will to change those situations and to say NO to those that make us vulnerable. Also, for us as sister we should always stand out to help those that need our help. It can be advice, it can be some valuable resources or moral support. Let us all be there for one another. Holding each woman's hand without ever getting tired of each other. Creating a stronger supportive Women's body, network and or movement at all times.

W ell... Well...this were situations of the past that we can sometimes reflect back to help us appreciate where we were or what happened but has not stopped us from achieving a good life. 

Today, my mother is a retired teacher.  We still discuss her experiences with those she taught some of which are hilarious. She narrates the tough times and cracked jokes about them. A prove that we can change our lives and those of others if we are determined to do so.

I celebrate every woman, every where in the World any situation. I love you and say to you be proud of yourself as we share this Women's Day 2019. May you all shine 

 

 

 

This post was submitted in response to Change starts with a story..

Comments 18

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Corine Milano
Mar 07
Mar 07

Rosemary, what a beautiful tribute to your mother and to women everywhere who are working hard to create a better life for their children and others in the world. I hear you and I am taking your message to heart: all women have a story, a struggle, and gratitude is of utmost importance!

Cheers to you and your mom - who brought into this life a brave changemaker!

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 10
Mar 10

Thanks a lot Corine. Am very happy to reach out to you. Indeed every woman has a story, a struggle but above all gratitude is very important. I appreciate so much.

Sis. Salifu
Mar 07
Mar 07

Dear Sis.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Its up building actually.

Warm regards
Ilz

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 10
Mar 10

Dear Liz, I hope you all doing well. Wish you all a happy weekend.Thanks a loat

Kirthi
Mar 07
Mar 07

You're such a powerhouse, dear Rosemary! Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for making this world such a beautiful place!

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 10
Mar 10

Dear Kirthi, am very grateful and appreciate what you mentioned

Mahnaz Harrison
Mar 08
Mar 08

Thank you, Rosemary, for a beautiful and powerful story. Your mother must be extremely proud of you. Happy Women's Day!

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 09
Mar 09

Hi Mahmaz, Thanks a lot. Am also very happy to connect with you. I appreciate a lot

jlanghus
Mar 08
Mar 08

Hello Lovely Rosemary,

How are you doing, dear? Thanks for sharing your inspiring story. I love the story you shared about Selina. That story could've definitely had a different twist to it, and not a good one. I'm so glad she not only reached out to her friend that helped her, but that she started her own business. I totally agree that women should all support one another. What a formidable force and community we will have once this is achieved.

Happy IWD to you, dear!

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 09
Mar 09

Hi Jill, Thanks a lot and am very happy to connect with you here. I really appreciate what you mentioned. Absolutely right, the story would have taken a different turn. Yes, Jill women should support each other. I also hope and that someday we will achieve this and have a strong community like you mentioned.

jlanghus
Mar 09
Mar 09

Hello there:-)

You're welcome. It's great to reconnect:-)

Hope you're having a great day and weekend!

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 10
Mar 10

Yes Jill and thanks a lot. Have a nice weekend too.

jlanghus
Mar 10
Mar 10

You're welcome. Thank you, dear:-)

Mauri Favaron
Mar 08
Mar 08

It is true we owe immensely to the marvellous people we met in our life, and many women among them. Reading your beautiful, powerful and moving post I remembered my own mom, some of my teachers, and so many others, who stood up, who gave me their time, love and advice. We'd not be the persons we are, without any of them. Without this beautiful "village".

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 09
Mar 09

Hello Mauri, Am happy to connect with you. Thanks a lot and yes, like you said we indeed owe them so much. They are wonderful people. They have done a lot for us. Such are things we need to remember and to give back to them.

Moutushi Dey
Mar 08
Mar 08

Thank you for sharing your story Rosemary. I can identify with your story as I was raised by a single strong mother. Sending love to you and your mother, happy IWD!

rosemary_ntoipo
Mar 09
Mar 09

Hi Moutushi, am happy to connect with you. Thanks a lot. Am very happy to learn that you can identify with the story and hope that you are happy today and proud of who you are. Am proud of your mother too. My love for you and your mum too.

Hello, Rosemary,

Your mother is such a strong woman. Thank you for sharing her story to us. We celebrate her; we celebrate you, too!