Where were all these Men!

SADRAG
Posted May 5, 2020 from India
Men Que up outside the liquor shop
Men Que up outside the liquor shop (1/1)

Over 45 days and India has been under the nation wide lock down, a reaction to the scare of Corona virus. As a few cities  recently opened, one is stuck by the long and very long ques outside the liquor shops. On the morning of the first day of the announcement  and  the men could be seen standing  in lines even before the shops were open. 

Liquor consumption has been considerably high in India. In 2016,  the annual liquor consumption was of about 5.4 billion liters and had every conducive circumstance to increase over the coming years.  The correlation between domestic violence and consumption of liquor has been widely researched and the result has been that of a direct and positive co-relation.  We work with migrants families and have enough direct evidence to support this co-relation. Every other household has the history of men consuming liquor and indulge in wife abuse. The children in many families tell us - My father beats my mother when he comes home drunk every night.

On seeing the long ques outside the liquor shops, i was thinking what did these men do when they were stuck at home with no alcohol available to them? How did they cope up with their addiction all these days? Their incomes are not high so they cant buy liquor in bulk. They would buy a small quantity each time  when the day ends. During lock down, these men were at home with wife and children, forced not to go out and therefore, stay without liquor.

- How the family situation ought to be when the male is frustrated and is striving for liquor?

- Would the women not be more vulnerable to violence and abuse of this man? Would she not be the first one on whom the man would vent out his anger and frustration?

Lots of questions but with only one answer. That's YES, it would be so. 

 Domestic violence is not a new phenomenon. However women have had the option of walking out of an abusive partner! She could complain to the women Helplin. She could seek help from the neighbours/community.

During lock down, all the above options were closed. The women Helplines received a very fewer distressed calls   which may mean  that getting away from the abuser may be difficult for the women during the  confinement day after day.  Making a phone call for help may not just be possible. Over and above, the children witness the domestic violence and marital discord day in and day out which has  a very negative impact on their psyche. 

My take over the whole scenario is about the political leadership. India has a strong government at the center. The Prime Minister's words are taken seriously by one and all. His instructions are followed  in letter and spirit. So when he makes a call for nation wide lock down on national Television channels, Can he send a message to our men as -

" Its now time for us, the men to show complete solidarity and stand by the women of the house. The men need to be Equal partners now that the household responsibilities are going to increase due to lock down and lets ensure Happy Families".

Can he include the message of gender equality at the time when he sees that this difficult time may be used to turn the tables by making men equally responsible in household transactions and respecting women for their 24 hours role at home.

I wonder, Why is our Prime Minister not even mentioning this aspect during his national address? Is this subject not important or relevant to be referred to while addressing the people? 

We have emphasized the need for political will to bring about the much awaited gender equality in our homes. Now the time is just Right! Let the political leadership give the message of gender equality  and refer to it in strong words. His address would have an impact on people, I am sure about that. 

 

 

 

Comments 21

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Chi8629
May 05
May 05

Hello Gorgeous Sister,
Thank you for sharing
And don't stop smiling.
We love you so much.

SADRAG
May 07
May 07

Yes Chioma
you too keep smiling
Smile is the beauty of life!
love you
mala

Jill Langhus
May 06
May 06

Hello Mala,

How are you and your family doing? You make a very powerful and important point. This would make a big difference. Can you send a letter to the government, Tweet about it, etc. to bring awareness about it, and to illicit change? I agree that men queuing up for liquor is definitely concerning. Even if women are able to call the helplines, what do they do when they receive the calls, i.e., will the police be able to follow up with them? I do hope so.

Hope you and your family are safe and well, dear.

XX

SADRAG
May 07
May 07

Hi Jill,
I would share it with UNWomen who had asked for our reflections on the VAW status under lockdown in India.
Here these debates have started and the role of political leadershipis arising too. Iam going to sgare it with all possible people.
love you
Say Safe
mala

Jill Langhus
May 08
May 08

Hi there,

Great! Let us know how it goes, please.

Hope you and your family are safe and well.

Thank you!

XX

Beth Lacey
May 06
May 06

We have to find a way around this global, irrational issue

SADRAG
May 07
May 07

Hi Beth,
yes its a global issue.
What if the political leadership around the globe take it up with the disastrous COVID-19!

Domestic violence is as toxic as Corona virus!!!

Stay Safe
mala

Thelma obani 2020
May 06
May 06

You can bring change through awareness.. please share on other platforms.

SADRAG
May 07
May 07

Thanks Thelma for a very pertinent reply. I would share it on other plateforms too.

Stay safe
mala

Anita Shrestha
May 07
May 07

Thank you for sharing.

SADRAG
May 07
May 07

Thanks Anita
Best
mala

MUKABA ZAWADI
May 11
May 11

Really this is what we are going through now, but we believe it will end with God anything is possible, thanks for sharing

Lavina Cardoza
May 11
May 11

You are right Sadrag. Though domestic violence during Covid 19 was discussed in all the media, PM did not mention this in his Mann Ki Baat, which is a lost opportunity. Wonder what is the way forward for setting the priorities right for men and the Govt.

SADRAG
May 17
May 17

Hi Lavina

And it raises questions on Intent, Interest and Concern of political leadership on the issues of gender equality.
Lock down at the cost of women labour!
Happy Family at the cost of women labour!!

Shirin Dalaki
May 11
May 11

Hello dear,
Thank you for sharing and I can feel the frustration. It will happen gradually.

SHirin

SADRAG
May 17
May 17

Shirin,
the stories are unfolding now as we are stepping from one level of lock down to another. Its like the ping pong game where women are the last recipient.

madison2308
May 16
May 16

Hello Mala,
Thank you for sharing. This is a very important topic to be aware of. My heart goes out to all of the women in these tough situations. Your idea about the Prime Minister making a statement toward the men regarding this issue is a great idea. Hopefully something can be done to help this issue. Hope all is well with you.

SADRAG
May 17
May 17

Thanks Madison for linking the idea of making our political leadership speak out directly about gender equality.

Why beat around the bush??

Eveline Ryser
May 25
May 25

thank you Mala for sharing! i think the most important is to spread your message!
send you love from Switzerland and thank you for your amazing work!
eveline

SADRAG
May 25
May 25

Hi Eveline,

you have rightly said that this message needs to spread through every possible forum. It has to reach the political leadership by all means.
love
mala

lemonadelemon
Aug 30
Aug 30

Great story