This is Who I Really Am- Breaking Stereotypes

“I want every little girl who’s told she’s bossy, to be told instead she has leadership skills.” - Sheryl Sandberg

I clearly remember one of my childhood best friends come up to me and say that I was ugly and would never get someone to marry me. What is the definition of ‘beautiful’ to people? Often, we come across so many situations where we are pulled down. Our self-esteem, self-worth and above all, self-love is so damaged that it is almost impossible to recover from such situations. Sometimes we keep spiralling down into the deep abyss of sadness that lifting ourselves out of it seems unimaginable.

The period from 14-18 years is always the toughest and most difficult times that each and every one experiences. My biggest fear in society has been the way I was perceived- ‘The pretty girl, with attitude oozing out of her.’ All my life, I’ve been worried about the things people say about me. Whether they liked me, whether I was good enough to be their friend, whether I was in their ‘league’! These experiences have been extremely traumatic and have changed me in so many ways. My confidence was shaken and my whole perspective towards things have drastically changed. My social skills, too, have been affected by it and I’ve grown to be more reserved. Every small comment, every piece of gossip passed around about me affected me so negatively that I started building a wall around myself, blocking people out and finding solace in being alone. This phase lasted for a long time, and being honest to myself, I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from it. It was definitely a lot of mental stress.

In school, I usually took part in all cultural and sports competitions. I had a good group of girlfriends and were usually talked about as the ‘popular’ girls of high school. Let me tell you, I prayed I wouldn’t be categorized into the typical stereotypes that girls usually go through. People love talking and people will always talk no matter how much you try to please them. There’s always jealousy or anger or hatred or ego that comes in the way of relationships, even the most beautifully blossoming ones.

Breaking judgemental barriers and stereotypes are something easier said than done. It is challenging to talk about your problems and insecurities, it’s even more trying to face most of our fears. Putting on a brave face isn’t easy because it takes a lot of courage and patience to overcome these situations.

‘Popular’ girls aren’t mean, ‘ugly’ girls aren't worthless, ‘fat’ girls aren't outcasts, ‘pretty’ girls aren't stupid. These tags that we use to label each other and ourselves show how superficial we are. We don’t belong to specific categories. We aren’t made to fit into a box. We are all human beings and that is the only thing that should matter. It must define us as one, through a common purpose.

This blog post is just to put forth a message to my wonderful readers. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE! Don’t ever change for anyone or anything, and if change is a must then always push yourself to do better and feel amazing ‘cause that is what you are!

Ayesha Mehrotra is one of Safecity's bloggers, part of the #WritersMovement, also pursuing her undergraduate degree in Bangalore. She is passionate about the environment and various social issues. Through her writing at this platform, she hopes to encourage the millions of unheard voices to speak out.