The Way you Raised Me

Safecity- Elsa D'Silva
Posted August 30, 2019 from India
Yamini Parashar
Yamini Parashar (1/1)

Yamini Parashar is pursuing her BA from Delhi university. She likes to write poems and observe things and is concerned with social issues. She identifies herself as a feminist and sees herself as a clinical psychologist in a few years. She’s been a part of a few poetry programmes held in her city.

                                                                           The Way you Raised Me

 Selflessness is her birthmark  Suppressing herself is her strength  And suffering is an obligation  And they say  “We gave you every right and equality”  But did you ever think of my freedom  When you cut my wings when I want to fly?  You shut my doors with your false perceptions  When I wanted to see the world with my eyes.  When you should have worried about my education  You worried about saving money for my marriage.  You labelled me as a slut  And characterless  Because I did not abide with the norms of your home.  I didn’t want to marry at 20  But that was everyone’s wish  But I will oppose it  I wish to live for myself first.  I did not want to buy those expressive sarees  Nor do I want to make love to bring children.  I’m living the life you created for me  But don’t stop me from living my life.  Marriage is not what I aspire for  But I intend to lessen your pain in your old age  Bringing back life into those who left it far behind  I do not wish to see myself turned into a commodity  And being sold in the hands of a business ally  Turning that sweat and blood of yours to be given away to a stranger  Calling it dowry  I do not want you to be over-burdened with the fear of marrying me into a family.  They say  “A girl should not come back to her maternal home after getting married.”  But tell me, how do I make a home out of strangers?  Be an example of sacrifice and fulfil demands?  Accept the way they want to treat me?  How do I justify myself burning into ashes there  Hiding under the veil  Because you said that a girl should not talk too much in front of her new family?  You said, “They are your new parents and this is your new home.”  But how do I make a home where everyone is unknown  Where I’m a servant by day  And am forced to make love at night  With a stranger with whom I share my bed?  If you believed that one should not let anyone overpower and take away someone’s dignity  I could have stood up for myself.  If my mother hadn’t been so immune  To the scars and scratches of my childhood  That turned into questions and doubts and insecurities and hostility  I would have stood up for myself,  Not wanting to, again,  Be loved by someone whom I barely know  Or have children raised in perpetuated patriarchy  To embodying those norms once again.  What I wished to do  Nobody bothered to listen  Silent were my cries  And dry were my tears.  All I wanted was to be a son to my father  To take every responsibility for my parent’s wrinkled skin and be a shoulder for their tired souls.


 Opinions expressed are of the writer.

*This blog was first published in Safecity.

Comments 3

Log in or register to post comments
Sep 02
Sep 02

Elsa you are a great narrator. Thanks for sharing and have a great day.

Hello, Elsa,

What a beautiful piece from Yamini. :) Sad how parents tend to control to their daughters' future.

Thank you for sharing!

Beth Lacey
Sep 04
Sep 04

Nice to read this from Yamini