"I was always a student with an exceptional I.Q. and succeededin my school performances. My parents were very proud and could not help bragging about me whenever there were family unions and social gatherings. I was embarrassed..a little but always happy to see the pride in their eyes.
I have two sisters, both older than me and married with kids. My sisters got married 'right on time' or maybe earlier than that.They were always the prettier ones, and both had numerous marriage proposals flocking. And well I wasn't bothered. I did not care about my aesthetics as much as on my career and goals. Everybody has different priorities and marriage had never been much of a deal to me. Last month I turned 31, RED ALERT! So the possibility of marrying an eligible bachelor has officially expired.
My parents are starting to get paranoid..I cannot see that pride in their eyes no more..all I can see in my mother's old eyes are regrets and she sees me with such sympathy it makes me want to stop looking at her. My father is retired, I have been covering up all the finances because I have a steady job in a reputed company, I have been doing extremely well. I even bought my first car last summer but that isn't enough. It's never going to be enough.
My mother comes to me sometimes,sits near me and asks me in hundred different ways if her unmarried miserable daughter is happy. I am tired of explaining to her I am. With my life and the way it is. Instead she gives me that sympathy full of glances multiple times and I cannot help but bicker.
My father has tried a lot, to get me a perfect husband. I have met a few, through my father's sources. A a lot of those men do not care about my degree, that soon I will be getting a PhD.,or that I have been a gold medalist in Economics. Things that my father keeps bragging about does not make them tick. I know I am being judged, in ways I wouldn't want to be.. How my figure isn't ladylike or my short hair and spectacles do not excite even the slightest urge of getting married in them. I know it's not going to happen. But how will I ever make my father understand that the process suffocates me, and underestimates my self-esteem?
I have asked my parents to stop listening to what people have to say about me remaining a spinster. I tell them everyday; it will happen when it has to happen and that I have no interest in getting hitched with a man and start a family but the idea does not make me depressed. But they worry a lot and sometimes I feel a culprit to my parent's woes not that I can do much about it.
Why is it that a woman has to get married even if it is not her choice? She has to have an expiry date. A woman in her late 20s and single is a woman incomplete and in the most critical situation of her life..almost crisis! No matter how able she is, can only a man complete her identity? I am 31 and not married. How bad can that be? "
This is loosely based on a conversation with my 31 year old relative who is a banker based in Kathmandu, Nepal.