I Really Had no Idea how beautiful "God" is...

Our relation started when I was a kid. People used to tell me that once I get to know You well, I will realize the actual meaning of life and its purpose. I always wondered why a person cried talking about you. At that time, those words just seemed meaningless, without any philosophy behind them. The reason might have been the fact that I was a child with very little attention towards these sorts of things or I never tried to understand what the actual purpose of our relationship was. Still, I used to come to You for help whenever I felt that my mother was going to scold me for some reasons. You were there when I desired to get the highest marks in my class and you were always ready to listen to my nonsense talks when everybody else was busy with their lives. But now I pause and think that being close to you still didn't make me understand what You actually meant to me at that time. I never dared to realize what if You had not been there when I was all alone.

I don't know why it feels strange and sometimes surprising too when people claim that true intimacy and pious relation with You develops only when one is in a state of crisis and hardships or if one is going through a grievous situation. The way our relationship was going on, it was pretty simple and straight forward. There were some specific situations, where I needed to come to You and asked for help but that was it. Maybe I was only aware of Your name, but not the hidden meaning inside it. Now, when I look back, I come to know that our relationship has changed. No matter how old I am now, I still come to You with those small requests, but I have some more requests too which make me feel that I have recognized the true purpose of our relationship. I come to know the hidden meaning of your name, which used to be a mystery for me once. What I used to hear and observe, the same was happening with me. I kept on visiting You but I had changed. I was no more the way I used to be. All this happened just because I also tasted the hardships of life like when I came to know that I have lost one of my brothers in an accident and two of them were in a hospital with very little hope to survive. At that time only You knew, what had I been through? I was all alone and was far away from my family. The one whom I could bother any times I wanted, with whom I could share anything which was inside my heart was only “You”. I actually don’t even remember those nights when I used to cry and nobody else could even hear, except You. During that time, I didn’t even notice that our relationship had grown stronger.

The only option for me was to pray for my brothers, not to cry for the one who left me and trust me it was the most difficult task I ever did in my life. At that time too You were the one who helped me out. I didn’t want to lose anyone else, so I decided to make my relation with You much stronger by repeatedly insisting for Your help because You were the only hope. As Rumi says "I closed my mouth and talked to you in hundred silent ways", the same situation was mine. I talked to You and You listened to that. I got back two of my brothers.

Once I read a piece of writing where someone had narrated some words about "You" which clicks my mind all the times. It was written that "When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the creator." Now, whenever I see my two brothers, my soul expands in worship of "You". Previously I used to claim that I really had no idea how beautiful "God" is, but now I can say confidently, I do know how beautiful " You" are for me.